Even when I suggest something that he genuinely likes such as the park or playground, etc. he would prefer to stay at home or at the very least, it takes me hours (literally HOURS!) of cajoling to get us out the door. If I have something that needs to get done, I will just say we're going and pick him up and go which sometimes elicits crying and/or protest so I don't want to do that in order to take him to the park, but.... So any suggestions or advice on why my child wants to stay inside and play with me instead of play with me OUTside on beautiful autumn days? Going crazy and feeling housebound!
2006-11-10 06:00:48 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Probably just the comfort of home. My 8 y/o daughter still does that. She would just rather stay home. She's getting better as she gets older, though. It's probably just a phase and he'll outgrow it. Is he ok once he gets where you're going? I would take him crying...he'll figure out that you mean it and you're going, no matter how much he protests. Hang in there...it'll get better. Good luck!!
2006-11-10 06:05:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Toddlers live in a world where everyone else dictates what they do on a daily basis. He is told when to get dressed, when to eat, where to go, etc. etc. They start to get stubborn about this when they realize that they are never in control, when they are just starting to become autonomous (more independent). Sometimes, offering simple choices (only between two things) can really make a huge difference in your toddler's compliance. If you need to go to the grocery store and the post office (for example) ask him which he'd like to go to first. If he needs to get dressed, ask him whether he wants to wear the blue shirt or the red one. Giving small choices helps to allieviate the negativity that goes with being ordered around all day. Remember to only give choices that you can live with! Don't offer him something that is truly not a choice, or you will have a real meltdown on your hands. Somethings are not a choice- like when it comes to safety, and it is ok to say, "This is not a choice." in a firm voice when your child HAS to do something, and it is not negotiable. Decide what things are worth the fight, and what is not. If it really doesn't matter to you if he eats his fruit snacks before his sandwich, don't make a big deal about it. Choose your battles. Good luck!
2006-11-10 15:37:18 · answer #2 · answered by dolphin mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he may have had an experience outside that he did not like or he just may be spoiled, wanting you all for himself. He knows that if you are indoors with him know one or nothing can take your attention away from him. Either was this sounds like a serious problem that you need to get addressed as soon as possible with a Child Psycologist. He will be coming of school age soon and if you don't prepare him, this will be an even bigger problem. It sounds like to me right now you are doing the right thing by trying to introduce him to outdoor experience, his crying is just his way of stopping you. Continue taking him outside, even if it is close to the home and only for a few minutes a day. Get in touch with a professional as soon as possible.
2006-11-10 14:15:23 · answer #3 · answered by VLEEKS47 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like (just my small observation from your question) That you may be a stay at home Mom, and he isn't around other children his age much.
If in fact, this is true, you might want to visit friends who have small children, or invite them to come to your house. He is very comfortable with Mom and Home and that's a good thing, but he needs to be around other children and I am sure you would enjoy some adult conversation. Remember, that he will be starting to school in a few years, and by helping him to get used to other people now, you will be helping him as well as yourself.
2006-11-10 15:02:10 · answer #4 · answered by kayboff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...don't be harsh..or rude..that would send an wrong signal..let him do whatever he feels like...you can do something is..talk to him know whats his like n dislikes....put him to different places..that will need him to go out..like swimming..or some sort of sports... he will make friends and would surely start going out...if this does not seem to work..then give him good treats like taking him to places..where you can make get him good surprises like everyday take him out to shopping places..librarys..meuseums..some different things even sometimes for work..like teach him things like watering the plants around the garden n take him to buy an aqauriam...this has to work i believe..show him he is someone..u want him to work with you..yeah u may be thinking what am i talking abt but yes..a child has a mind to feel this definetely..they know..if they are given a bit of priority they like doing things.... if you be there with him...talk to him be friends..always be there..he will start opening up..and he too would get to see...mama doing things of this sort he too would be interested..tell him about the different places that you come across while driving...:)
i tried..helping you to how you can...
give it a try...
know you can be the best person for him..or else lets take it this way..mom are the best pals of a child ..u only need to build that trust in ur child from the very age...
2006-11-10 15:43:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him cry all the way to the park. He'll get over it and have a good time. Never negotiate with a 3 year old.
2006-11-10 14:42:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I think that you should be the boss not the child. I think you should not ask just make a statement 'we are going out in 5 minutes, please get ready and put your shoes on' or something similar.
maybe the child is scared of something thats outside, you need to ask him, maybe he doesn't like to be in the car?, maybe someone wasn't nice to him on the playground??
it's hard to say because there might be a lot of things.
I hope you will succed!
2006-11-10 14:06:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just tell him you are going out and that's final. Don't let him walk over you, he's 3 YOU are the parent. If he decides to pitch a fit, tell him he will loose his favorite toy for the rest of the day. And then put him in the car. The more firm and consistent you are, the less he will fight you on it.
2006-11-10 14:46:11 · answer #8 · answered by disneychick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, seriously you take hours to get him going? What the heck do you do that for? lol
I think you should tell him where you are going on a daily basis, like at breakfast, then five minutes before it's time to leave you tell him again where you are going and tell him to put his shoes on.
Then go. It's not his choice so he HAS to go with you lol
2006-11-10 16:14:19 · answer #9 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give him a little bit of time and it'll pass, I just went through the same thing eith my 3 yr old, I think its just a stage they have to go through, still some times he still cries when we go out. but not all the time any more. try doing fun stuff inside with him for a wile.
2006-11-10 14:25:48 · answer #10 · answered by Maria Felix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋