the dr says there is nothing wrong with me & i can't tell my boyfriend the truth coz he'll know i was pretending,i never had an orgasm with my X too!Tried many things (getting myself drunk got me numbed but not excited). When i think of him i get excited but when we are making love i feel nothing. I madely love him, i'm 30 & need help
2006-11-10 05:47:05 · 38 answers · asked by mallouna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok i just want to make it clear , i wana have it with him and not with a toy (and i know how to get one for myself)
2006-11-10 06:06:12 · update #1
It happens to some women. Sometimes it changes later in life. There is a spinal implant you can have installed that gives you one when you push a button. Makes a big difference in some womens lives. I would be honest with your partner definately so he can work with you to find "your spot" that triggers the big O. Some women have "their spot" in weird places and takes a bit to find it.
2006-11-10 05:53:29 · answer #1 · answered by Tom B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most women have difficulty or just can't have a vaginal orgasm. In that area, the nerve endings only go up to 2 inches in, so after the first 2 inches, you might be able to feel pressure, but not necessarily pleasure. And so you don't have to tell him you faked it all this time, just ask him if he wants to try something different!!!
Try one or more of these:
1) have him bring you somewhat close to "the big O" either manually or orally, then switch to the other way.
2) Sometimes what works is if you manually stimulate yourself while he's in action. most men think that's even hotter when you do that. (its almost fantasy porn star like!)
3) Take him Shopping! Toy shopping! Let him be involved in picking something out that will work for you. If you don't involve him, he may get insulted and assume you think he's inadequate.
4)take ultimate control one night and be the dominant one as you keep changing things until you feel out what works for you.
Good luck! And remember, don't tell him you faked it but ask him if you wants to try something fun!
2006-11-10 06:04:25 · answer #2 · answered by Chiky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a book on sex and sexuality. Different women are aroused by different things / situations.
Often I've found that women who have trouble orgasming during sex either have inexperienced / unskilled partners or they are not relaxed enough. Stress and anxiety are big orgasm-blockers for women.
Find things that excite you - if vanilla sex doesn't do it, there's a lot of other possibilities. Trust me - you aren't the first woman to ask this question.
But...the most important thing you can do is to be honest with your boyfriend. He won't know that he should be trying different things unless you tell him that it's not working. He'll understand if you explain to him that it's a general difficulty you have and doesn't mean you aren't attracted to him. Ask him to help...I'm sure he'd find the challenge appealing. Men like to come to the rescue.
2006-11-10 05:51:32 · answer #3 · answered by Aaron W. 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is a very common problem. You may need more stimulation. There are different types of orgasms. the clitoral obviously comes from the clitoris, so you might see if you mate will go try to please you that way.. Sometimes I don't have an O with sex either. it can be annoying, sometimes the guy just doesn't last long enough. But I think the best thing is foreplay. Get you and him all revved up, if that doesn't help, try the clitoris.
2006-11-10 05:51:26 · answer #4 · answered by Becca P 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I went through this same exact thing and did not actually reach my first on until I was 30. I had to experiment with myself to find out what really pleases me the most. Take a little time each day and just play. Really get to know yourself and eventually...it just happens. Nothing to be ashamed about or feel dirty, just relax and enjoy. It may take some time but that is really what you need to do. Have fun.
2006-11-10 05:50:55 · answer #5 · answered by Lt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's because he's not putting it on you like he should. Maybe try some new sex moves and see what that does for you. Take control and see what happens. Maybe u should get on top of him so that you can feel him deep inside and it would feel good to the both of you. If you say that he's sexy and he turns you on then all you need is some good tricks in the bed and you'll be just fine.
2006-11-10 05:50:56 · answer #6 · answered by iluvashtonkutcher676 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal. Some women can't orgasm with their man no matter how much love is involved.
I am like that most of the time. What I do is let him do his thing, and when he is done and rolls off, I masturbate. This way, we are both happy. This is done with many couples. Only the insecure guys have a problem with this.
2006-11-10 05:50:50 · answer #7 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, if you can reach orgasm by doing whatever, it means you are not broken, so that's the good news. Now, my suggestion would be to try to replicate what you do with your pillow when you have sex. With the pillow, you are most likely stimulating your clitoris, do you do the same when having sex with your boyfriend or is it just all about penetration? Try to rub your clitoris against him in the same way that you rub against the pillow.
2016-03-28 01:31:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't anything wrong with you. There are plenty of woman that have near had an O. I don't have them everytime either. You need to stop thinking about trying to get one and just enjoy the sex. Try to please yourself more. Sometimes it is the for-play that can help. Sometimes with the O you have to get all hot and to the point that you feel like a volcano that needs to blow. You might want to try you clit. Playing with that might be what you need. Mostly just relax and try to get please out of it. Getting an O is not everything. It is nice but you can enjoy sex with out it.
2006-11-10 05:55:09 · answer #9 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try some toys?? That or just be honest - actually men like it when a women takes the initiative to better the sex life. Either way - it would be better to bruise his ego by telling him that youre faking than to destroy it when you leave because your needs aren't being met - ya know?
2006-11-10 05:51:06 · answer #10 · answered by lisa_dahme 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋