How can I deal with my son being in foster care?

Question

At 2 months my son got taken from me. I see him once a week for an hour. He is now 7 months and i still can't deal with him not being with me everyday. How can i get over the anxiety of him not thinking of me as his mother and him being away from me.

i got him taken from me when the babysitter he was with hit him and they blamed it on me.

i got him taken from me when the babysitter he was with hit him and they blamed it on me.

Answer 1

Put all your effort into whatever it is that you need to work on in order to get him back and be the best parent you can be. Take this opportunity and the help that is available to learn everything you can to improve yourself for his sake.

Answer 2

Well obviously you've done something to make you an unfit mother. Whatever it is, shame on you! I'm sorry you feel badly about your son being in foster care, but maybe that's the best place for him. If you're so concerned about him not being raised with you, maybe that's something you should have thought of before you did whatever it was to get him taken away from you. My husband and his brother were both raised in foster care. My brother in law is now in jail and everyone expected the same of my husband as he was growing up just because he was a foster kid. He was lucky and became the exception, but now your son has to be raised with that stigma of being a bad seed for the rest of his life, and it's all your fault. I don't know how you can sleep at night you horrible, careless, vile person.

Answer 3

There must be a good reason that he is in foster care. What you need to do is focus on correcting what ever problems you have in your life, become a stronger person so you can get your son back. It sounds like you love him, but obviously something happened to put him in danger, so be comforted knowing that he is in a good environment. As a baby, it is very important to be able to develop trusting relationships with adults and to be around nurturing people who will meet his needs. Keep up with the visits and let him know you are his mom and that you love him. He will know that you care about him and see you as an important person in his life.

Answer 4

My first question, why did he get taken away? I'm guessing you had done something bad enough to warrant him being taken away. The best thing you can do is to fix whatever problem you were having, and work on getting to a point where you can have your son back in your arms. Focus on bettering your situation for now, and in time, hopefully he can come back to you.

Answer 5

You need to get your self together. I dont know what happened but for your son to be gone for 5-6 months out of your care and still isnt back with you, means you need to fix something. I duno what they expect of you.

But you need to..

Get a good full time job that can pay for a sitter while you work.
Get any schooling you need to better your self.
Take parenting classes until you get your son back and still go to them for 6 months after you get him back.
See him every time your supposed to and when you see him spend all your time with him.
Quit bad habbits if you have any and fight for him. He knows ur his mom and if you can get him back sooner the better. he will love you more for getting your life in order to have him back than if you let it go and he only sees you part time in his life.

Answer 6

First of all, being a parent is an obligation most people have to learn skills to be good at. You had your child taken at 2 months, an age where someone finding out that your care is inadequate is relatively hard to do. Most children come into foster care after reaching school age, as then a teacher, a schoolmate or other Mother may notice the neglect. The fact that yours was taken so young, means that there was a serious danger to the childs well being. What can you do? He is still your child, unless the state is terminating your parental rights. Since you are seeing your child, I would think there is hope to rekindle the relationship with your baby. If they are asking you to attend counseling, do it, if they say meet us on tuesday at 3 om, then be there with bells on at 2:45. Act like you are a Mother who wants her child back and willing to walk on coals to do it. The idea that your rights as a parent, even one unable or unwilling to do parental things, is over, you are now in "the system" and must "show" you are capable of caring for your child before your rights are to be restored completely. I would, in your shoes, make every class they asked me to, ask for help and take any offered, I would stand on my head in Times Square if they told me to, to get my child back and I would make sure I knew everything I needed to know, so I could be the very best parent I could be and learn all I needed to make sure if and when they gave my child back to me, they would not EVER REGRET giving me another chance to make good. Quit thinking about yourself and how you feel, work on making yourself a better parent and focus, this is about your child. Your attention needs to be on making whatever was wrong, right. If you were on drugs, get in rehab, if you were neglectful, learn how to do be a proper parent, whatever the reason for them taking him, you need to work on that and make it right. Otherwise, your child will remain in the system and will know that his Mother didn't care enough about him to do the right things to get him back. You will be setting your child up to be more likely to be in the juvenile justice system, to drop out of school, to be homeless and to generally have trouble throughout his life. Do you want him to be one of those statistics? If not, do your best to secure a bright future for your little man and step up to the plate. At least he will know you tried to do what you could, and that his Mother loved him enough to make an effort. Sometimes birthparents are just not in a good place to care for their offspring, if this is the case, do your best to make your visits, be involved, even if he is and remains in foster care, a child who has a parent working with the system, and with the foster parents, is a child with a leg up. Foster parents recieve training to make sure they do not dog the birth parent, that they do not go there with the child. They are taught to react with the child in a way that is realistic, and does not make the child feel bad, say a parent is on drugs and doesn't make their visit the foster parent is supposed to respond with "I'm sorry your Mother didn't come to see you this week and I am sure if she wasn't in her illness, she would have come". They do not varnish the truth, the truth is what the truth is. But it is not to make the child think they have a low life Mother, she has done that on her own, and in her illness, she may be making inappropiate choices that are not indicitive of what she would do in a sober state. Nonetheless, she missed her visit. Don't be the one to blame others for your troubles, take responsibility and step up, get help with whatever you need help with and try and maintain as healthy of a relationship as you possibly can with your child and if possible, try to get to know the foster parents, if thats allowed in your case and do your best to work with them. They can be a great asset in restoring your child and yourself to the roles of parent and child. They give you information about progress your child is making. Don't make the mistake of blaming them, they are doing a difficult job of taking care of your mess, and in the unenviable position of loving your child and risking him being returned to you, after they have loved and cared for him for some time. This is a difficult tightrope to walk, but every foster parent takes it on. Can you do any less? I say make an effort and get involved in making yourself a better parent, so you can make a better way for child, and yourself. I commend you for trying to find advice to help you, and I will pray for you to be able to build a strong relationship that will heal both of you. Good luck my dear! PS: They don't take a baby for 5 months from a parent because a babysitter hit him and they blamed you. The babysitter reported you for abuse and was able to prove it. These cases are FULLY investigated and if you weren't the one who had hit him at 2 months old, he would have been returned to you already. Like I said, being responsible for your actions is your first step. Someone in the system thinks you did it and you no doubt had a hearing or two or three that you had to show up at, where were you?

Answer 7

what gurl how you get yo child taken from you need to stop whatever you did