I am very close with my mom and dad...so is my husband. We are young (late 20's) and have no children. I have completed all of the education that I desire up through graduate school and my husband got a late start but is almost done with an engineering degree and really wants to go to law school.
He did so well on the entrance exam that he is able to pick and choose where he will attend law school.
Dilemma: My parents both have major health problems and we are the only ones around who take care of them. We enjoy every second of it. But law school is 3 years, and the best schools for my husband are at least three states away. Does he go to a local school that is mediocre so that we can stay around my mom and dad or does my huband go "all out" and we try to visit as often as we can? I don't want to regret not seeing them and having something tragic happen. My mom has cancer and my dad has a serious heart problem. But it seems dumb to put dreams on hold, too. Any opinions or advice?
2006-11-10 05:04:49 · 12 answers · asked by . 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't want to do the long distance marriage thing...we already went through that when my husband was in the military for 4 years. He was gone for most of that and I really don't want to live throught hat again. That is also the reason that his education is beginning later than usual...
2006-11-10 05:13:17 · update #1
in the end the good law school will help out significantly. i'd try to visit as often as you can but don't pass up the law school. it'll help all of you out in the future because the good law school will make him a more sought out lawyer if thats what he's gonna become. visit as often as you can it'll work out.
2006-11-10 05:09:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your parents probably qualify for daily assistance. You and your husband can take some time to look into getting the best assistance they can afford.
Then the two of you should move on with your lives as a married couple.
It's a given that you will be in touch daily and visit as much as possible, but I'm sure they would not want you to give up your dreams for them....good luck to all of you.
2006-11-10 05:09:34 · answer #2 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, dont rush! You now have a husband that has to be your priority. I admire your desire to worry about your parents, but now you have to go on. This is a very sentimental situation, and so is personal. I could tell you there are few possiblitites:
1- Let your parents move with you, CLOSE (rent a home), not on the same house, 'cause it could go on problems later.
2-Phone them everyday and one or twice a month visit them.
3-DONT TRY TO GET PREGNANT ON THIS TIME! Babies require a lot of time (I have a 14 month girl and she is my inspiration, but I had to choose between the things I liked before I was pregnant or her, obvioulsy I chose her)
4-Thank God you had good parents, and you worry about them...this world is going for worst, you are a lucky girl.
Best wishes! :)
2006-11-10 05:14:28 · answer #3 · answered by astridmarie_y2k 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow all this must be really hard on you... first things first- take a deep breath and trust that everything will work out. My advise is to sit down and talk to your husband. Talk out all possible situations and the pros and cons of the situations. Even consult your family talk to them and together try and work on something that is good for everyone. Did you consider a long distance/ commuter relationship with your husband while hes in school?
2006-11-10 05:10:08 · answer #4 · answered by bree_1384 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand that u & ur hesband are interested into pursueing his law education. It is you people that like & wishes to be with parrents at the time of their old age ailment because of closeness and love. It is good to think like that.
But in my perseption I consider this is a family situation and in taking a final decession take oppenion of your parrents too. They may feel very happy & satisfied and give suitable solution. As far as medical problem of parrents are concerned only qualified Doctor is essencialy required for treatment. If you are in aposition to handle any such emergency if occures then may alow & encourage him to join the best school.
2006-11-10 05:36:35 · answer #5 · answered by bps2902 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, let me say that I completely understand you're dilemma from both sides. While my reasons were different, I also had to make the difficult choice..stay or go.
I chose to go. In my case my children and our well being both spiritually and financially took precedence. Both of my parents are now gone, but they were not out of reach from my love for them, even 2000 miles wont separate you from loving and caring for each other.
Now as an older parent, It would grieve me to be a burden on my children. All of my life, I have done everything possible to raise them to "GO"
What do I mean "GO"? well it is in teaching them to make the best life for them selves as that can, to be responsible, to be faithful.
The best life is not always financially success. i.e you can't take it with you when you go! The key to success is faith and trust in GOD. What ever you do during your temporary assignment here on earth should be in preparation for your eternal life in heaven.
So how does this relate to your question?
First thing, if you are missing a relationship with Christ, start by believing and accepting him. It is truly life changing and filled with Joy beyond our normal understanding.
Ask God for direction. He does answer. One of the wonderful promises he makes is that he will give you the desires of your heart, your dreams.
I would also ask your parents how they truly feel about you're staying or going.
2006-11-10 05:41:21 · answer #6 · answered by Friend 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may sound crazy, but the people I bought my house from were the parents, elderly and sick as yours are. They moved with their son and daughter-in-law. The son was offered a very nice job in Texas and they moved with them to an apartment building close to their new home. I met them several times and still get cards from them at Christmas, they are very happy. Suggest it, maybe, since you are the only family to care for them, they would be willing to move. Good luck.
2006-11-10 05:12:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh my that is going to be hard;but I' m sure your parents will understand you have to do whats best for you. what about hiring some one to take care of them . can they move with you?CAN YOUR MARRIAGE SURVIVE IF YOU STAY AND TAKE CARE OF THEM while your husband is away at school,its important for you to spend time with your husband so if you decide to stay and let him go.'you must visit him often . what about a temporary retirement home for them , until law school is over they can stay together and someone will be their to look after them. parents are so special I'VE LOST BOTH OF MINE, and miss them so much., good luck in what ever you decide is best for all of you.
2006-11-10 05:29:53 · answer #8 · answered by deedee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thru your local county health department get help for them. And go! You have your lives to live. I have always regretted more what I didn't do than what I did. \
And I know how draining taking care of parents is. But I did it when well into my architectural career, not just strarting out. Your situation is different. Go for it!
2006-11-10 05:09:16 · answer #9 · answered by Grabbag 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about checking if the university you husband wants to get his law degree has extended on line courses a lot of university's have. it is just a thought
2006-11-10 06:06:28 · answer #10 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋