what should i do?
i knew this girl a long time, and we are getting married, and suddenly i found that she was living with 3 guys! the first one for 6 months, second one for 1.5 years and third one 3 years!
and of course count the number of time she had sex with them, specially that she was living with them!
while i only had sex once before her!
what should i do?!
2006-11-10 04:52:19 · 16 answers · asked by csimax007 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok, thanks for ur answers, but wat if i told u that she has been lying to me b4 i met her, saying she only had sex once 11 years ago and she swore to christ she didnt have sex with those guys, while after i found out, she sed yes she did have sex with them.
and i dont have a problem with casual relationships, but to be living with a guy on the same bed for all this time! THAT is more than just had sex b4! plus i dont think "average women" live in with 3 guys for all this time and in 5 years! i think if she had sex with 10 guys and not live with them, would have been better...
2006-11-10 05:22:35 · update #1
Depends where she is in her life right now. Maybe she didn't tell you this earlier because she wasn't proud of it. I haven't slept with anyone yet and have dated men who have had many partners, and would marry someone who had lived with someone else if that was indeed a different part of his life and he regretted it. As for you knowing her for a "long time", it couldn't be that long because you were unaware of those 5 yrs where she was living with other men.
Don't worry about the sex in comparison. She will have to deal with that, because she is the one who was living with other men. Don't put it on your shoulders to worry about how you stack up next to these guys, if there is an issue specifically with this, it would be her fault/problem, not yours.
If you trust her, marry her and enjoy life! If this new information about her kind of leaves you skeptical, then reexamine where you are with this woman. Why are you marrying her? What do you know, deep in your gut, 40 yrs down the road will look like with this woman?
ps, if I was engaged to a man who didn't have as many partners or was quite inexperienced next to me, that would mean that I love him and it DOESN'T MATTER. I hope this is the case for you. Worry less about the sexual aspect and worry more about whether she is the right life partner for YOU.
2006-11-10 05:03:00 · answer #1 · answered by carlaerickson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You stop worrying so much I mean you had a life b4 you met her right? Well she had a life as well what you should really be focusing on here instead thinking omg she was sleeping with this dude for three years you should be looking at it as hell yeah she was with the same dude for three years that's three years she wasn't out sleeping with every tom dick and harry there is!!! Its obvious if shes had these relationships that she's the type of woman who believes that you should be in a relationship and believes in love.There was a reason you fell in love with her to the point that you felt like you need to spend your life with her.That reason iS still there shes still the same person.Just one with alot less numbers than your average woman these days!!! Be happy you have a woman with good morals stop picking it to death if your scared of getting married then call it what it is don't make it out to be all her,Shes obviously a very good person!!!I wish you the best of luck in your engagement and quit worrying about the ex's they are ex's you are the one by her side NOW!!! remember that!!!
2006-11-10 13:03:47 · answer #2 · answered by witchy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She had all those guys before she dated and got serious with you, right? If that's the case, what does it matter how many times she slept with them. If you both decided to get married, I'm certain it was for who you both are as people. I think you can look beyond all of this if you love her enough. If you slept with someone just once before her, that is how you chose to be. If you are going to base your decision on comparison, then you ought to find a virgin woman for yourself or someone who made love just once like you. If she is a good woman, faithful and loyal to you and loves you very much, that is all that ought to count.
2006-11-10 12:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by happykat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur getting married to her is the thing of the present...what happened in the past shudnt make so much of a difference for u if u love her..n she loves u back...n u cannot tell abt she makin love to nebody unless u ask her...since ur getting married i think u can clear these doubts without ne hesitation...
n abt u its not the no of times but the feeling tht matters...u done it once u lost ur virginity...she done it a 100 times also leaves her with just losin her virginity...ok take care good luck...
2006-11-10 12:57:16 · answer #4 · answered by koolnsj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the past is the past. Was she cheating on you? if no then no worries it's all about what she is today and how she treats you and if you both truly love each other. you should stay engaged for awhile to see how things turn out rather then jump the gun and get married. Even though you have know her for quite awhile its obvious you don't know her that well if you did not know her past relationships history.
2006-11-10 12:56:27 · answer #5 · answered by tonaloha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how could you suddenly find out that she lived with 3 guys? Aren't you getting married, so shouldn't you already know where she lives? Maybe you aren't ready for marriage.
2006-11-10 12:55:02 · answer #6 · answered by OMGJessica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do NOT get married. You will come to think less of her, and that will be the beginning of the end of your marriage.
Seek counseling to help you ACCEPT that she had a life before you........Even tho you may not have agreed with her life style.
Perhaps some testing would also be helpful.
2006-11-10 12:57:03 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing why do you care, she's only gonna marry YOU she didn't marry those guys in the past. so be happy you found someone that loves you
2006-11-10 12:54:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow man that rely does suck but sence u have known her for a long time and u think that she is having sex wit these boys the u should probably go live wit her wit the boys and see wat happends or put some hidden cams in the house and see wat happends or jus go find another girl that u have none for a long time
2006-11-11 17:32:28 · answer #9 · answered by hot carmel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry about it. you guys love eachother! your getting married. her relationships didnt work out with them. it should have nothing to do with u and her.
2006-11-10 12:54:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋