He is in Iraq for the 4th time and he married before during the same circumstances. It seems like a pattern. IRAQ-Marriage- IRAQ-wife cheats, empties bank account-Divorce. The same pattern is happening now. I dont wanna be part of this one. I told him I would go in an email just because he's in the middle of the war and I don't wanna put his spirits down. I really don't wanna go.
2006-11-10 04:45:48 · 37 answers · asked by bumpb4 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
you should do what you think is best if you sdon't want to go just tell him you love him and do what u want
2006-11-10 06:25:57 · answer #1 · answered by wackcat55 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's having the trouble you say he is, he's going to need your support as much as possible. It's your job and your responsibility as his mother to be there and help him as much as possible, especially during this difficult time. You don't have to like who he's marrying or the reasons behind it, but at least be there for your son. Might I also suggest talking to him about a pre-nup? Mostly celebrities do it, but it may be a good idea for your son considering the circumstances. It would mean that the wife doesn't get anything if the divorce is a result of certain things like infidelity. Just an idea.
Tell your son thank you for what he does. He's a true American hero and I will pray that he comes home to you soon and safely.
2006-11-10 05:32:42 · answer #2 · answered by brainy_blonde 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you and your son. I am retired from the military and have seen/experienced similiar things. Not to be too crude here, but there are two things going on I believe:
#1 - Your son needs a love from someone who gives a **** about him...who really cares. Now we know that ain't the bride with the boyfriend...so it's gotta be you Dad. You are his father for all of his life...for good or bad. If it is too late to talk him out of it, then you gotta look him in the eye, give him a big hug and say, "Good luck son". You gotta do it because you love him...if you didn't you wouldn't have written here.
#2 - As a young man he has certain - shall we say biological needs. Send him to one of the bachelor paradises for a vacation if this marriage goes belly up. Maybe Costa Rica, Thailand, etc. With a little research you can find out where they are. At least that way he can spend his money and not give it all to a cheating wife.
Best of luck to you both.
2006-11-10 08:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by Ricky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please go. Like many other posters here have pointed out, this marriage could actually TAKE. If you snub the wedding, then you'd be snubbing future grandchildren as well, wouldn't you?
I'm a mother, too, although I'm not in the same position that you're in. But everyday I'm reminded of a funny line from "The Golden Girls." It was spoken by Dorothy in the chapel moments before her son was to marry a much older woman. She said something like "what can any mother do? Accept it and complain later to anyone willing to listen."
That can be our mantra, ok? But do please, attend the wedding and smile for the photographers. We'll all wait right here for you to get back..... :-)
2006-11-10 05:59:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are his mother - and now you have the chance to either destroy or ensure his future happiness to some extent. Instead of assuming he is incapable of picking a better wife - support him in his decision and instead of avoiding or critisizing - reach out to your future daughter in law and build a friendship. If you can contect with her, and become like a second mother to her, you will be in a position to emotionally support her if he has to leave again.
Having a husband leave is hard for any wife - no matter how good of a person she may be. Your son being in Iraq is not a good reason for him not to have love in his life - but it is a good reason for you to be even more invested in building a relationship with his wife to be.
2006-11-10 07:41:01 · answer #5 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go and be there for him. Even if you do not want to be there. Put a smile on and make the best of it. Obviously if he is spending so much time in Iraq you do not have many opportunities to see him. Why waste one because you dont agree with something??? Life is too short for that !
2006-11-10 05:06:24 · answer #6 · answered by mama 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. And I wouldn't do or not do anything that anybody here says. Pray to God as to what is right for you. If it were me, I would go simply because I wouldn't want to have a strained relationship with my son going forward. Irrespective of whether or not the marriage works out, this will happen if you don't go and you could have gone. But you have to decide.
Also, just because he picked a loser before doesn't mean this girl will behave the same way. While I understand your concerns, give her some benefit of the doubt until she exhausts that doubt.
2006-11-10 04:56:32 · answer #7 · answered by lmnop 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For heaven's sake, buy a pretty new hat, have your hair done and show up at the wedding. Who knows? This might be the daughter-in-law you have always wanted. She may make him happy for the rest of his life and she may give him children. If you hope to enjoy those grandchildren and see them often, the best place to start would be now. Be gracious and be the kind of mother your son can be proud of. He's doing the best he can under difficult circumstances. He needs to know that you are on his side, unconditionally.
2006-11-10 04:58:26 · answer #8 · answered by Suzianne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your son is an adult and at this point your parenting job is over. You don't get to approve or disapprove of his decisions, you can only support him, no matter what and stand by, mouth shut.
What if this is the one? What if this one lasts forever, gives you wonderful grandchildren and you miss the opportunity of getting to know HER, the kids and watching him be a Dad??
2006-11-10 06:52:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Support your son. Believe me it means the world to him even though he may not tell you. Mine cheated on me while I was there. Maxed out my cards and left me high and dry. you can advise him to do the same thing I did. I started a seperate account. Every month I had money transferred into the joint account. Reason being she had my sons and they are everything to me. I came back and washed my hands of the whole ordeal of her cheating and spending everything.
I hope everything goes well for your son. God bless.
2006-11-10 04:52:16 · answer #10 · answered by FR33FALL79 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You really should go, if something happens and this all does happen again, he needs to know that he has your support. Also, like you said, he's at war, he needs to have things going smoothly and thats almost your duty to help keep things Ironed out! hope it all works out
2006-11-10 07:31:10 · answer #11 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋