How do you "talk someone down" from Sucide, murder or other violent acts?

Question

Such as if someone is holding a gun to their head or on a roof or bridge threatening to kill themself, how do you talk them out of it?
If someone if threaten to kill or harm another person, and they are holding a gun or knife to the victim, how do you talk them out of it? or other actions to consider?

Correction; spelling error "Suicide" not "Sucide".

Also, if you know of any of the best websites, books, text books or manuals on the subject, please provide information.

Answer 1

distract them, put yourself between them and 'device' or if fear for yourself remove them from the device as quickly as possible

Answer 2

I'm sure you could take a course or something that would prepare you to be a "negotiator". I don't know that I would trust doing it alone based on info I'd read on the net!

If I did find myself in this situation without training,
I would contact the police and have them send over someone who IS trained for this. Until someone trained arrived I would probably just try to talk to them about why they are doing what they are doing. As long as they continue talking and having to think they will be distracted from doing whatever it is they want to do.

Generally someone who hesitates has not make up their mind to commit the act. If you are able to talk to them before they do anything then it is likely you have a good chance of delaying their actions until help arrives because those who hesitate seem to be seeking help out of desperation. If someone REALLY wanted to kill themselves they would do it before you had a chance to even say "wait", same goes for someone that really wanted to harm or kill someone else.

Answer 3

Very touchy subject. However most people that threaten suicide are crying out for support and help. If they were serious about it they would just do it. You need to talk to this person and listen to what they have to say. Try to make them talk to you but you MUST NOT push them. Putting unwanted pressure will push them towards suicide. Try not so much to solve their problem but more be a good friend and provide them support in anyway you can help. Tell them that you will help him or her and be their for them. Then when things calm down you must be able to support them in the way that you said you would. Consult professional help such as a suicide hotline, doctor or councelor. They will be able to provide more information for you. Best of luck and take care.

Answer 4

If there is a weapon involved, call 911 & stay out of range or sight. Also, if they are "in the process", like you mentioned, still use 911 & then talk with them. Exchange names & other info to gain rapport with them. Listening more than you talk lets them know you are thinking more about them & not much about yourself. Never cut in while they are talking. Encourage them to talk about what they are feeling right now & let them know where you honestly identify. Use the words - kill, hurt, sad, suicide w/o soft peddling them so they feel it is all right to talk honestly with you. Above all, loosen up as much as you can, which allows your mind to think more clearly. When they talk about people they care about, tell them about the harm they would cause those people. Let them know, from your own experience when you can, that nothing is as hopeless as they think it is right now. Use your own experience helping others feel better be your guide. And believe you can help them, because you will simply by trying.

Sounds like a tall order. Remember most depressed people do not want to die, they just see no hope in living. They are actually looking for a way out of what they are feeling.

If your attempt fails, it is not your fault. Nobody can stop or make anybody harming themselves, period. It is always THEIR decision. All you can hope to do is to let you convince themselves not to do it.

I worked a crisis phone about 20 years ago, & I lost one. It took a long time to get past the guilt. But I did, thanks to hearing what I said just now from other people working with me. They also convinced me that he would have if I had not tried to help. I also have had people years later tell me something I did or said helped them decide to live. I had no clue at the time, either.

Whatever is going on, Good luck. I care, & so do many others.

Answer 5

If you want to change the mind of someone who is trying to hurt you or another person or themselves you should first acknowledge their feeling. " I can see you are very upset right now and you have every right to be ". " it is so hard to deal with so much stress ".
Then you can try and make things personal " I have three kids, do you have any kids ?", " I have a lousy job too". "Would you like to sit down a get some fresh air ?"

Don't tell them what they are doing is wrong or that only God can help them.See things from their eyes.

Answer 6

I read that you should not ask them about their problems. Get them talking about something good in their life, their wife, husband, children. Tell them there are people who love and care about them and will be deeply hurt when they are gone.

Answer 7

Tell that person you just wanted to pray with him/her before he/she goes. If that person is willing, have a long talk with him/her, talk him/her out of it.

Answer 8

You don't you leave that to professionals who have been trained like police, and firefighters.