I've met a guy. He's unlike anyone I've ever met before. But he has no idea how I feel about him, and to make matters worse, I recently found out he has a steady partner. Every time I talk to him in a friendly way, it makes me even more sad because I know I cannot have him, and if I avoid him I'm miserable without his company.
I can't even meet new people because I work long hours and don't have time for social activities, and no friends who are willing to go anywhere with me.
I'm becoming increasingly deressed; what can I do?
2006-11-10 04:08:09 · 21 answers · asked by Jen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are depressed then go to see your doctor about getting some counselling before you even think about starting dating. In my opinion you need to make yourself happy before you can let anyone else into your life. You could try joining an evening class though as a way to make new friends or invite your friends over to yours for girly evenings instead of going out "on the pull". You should try to think of this guy as just a friend rather than as a potential partner...I know there is always an element of "what if" in these sorts of situations but seriously if he is happy in his relationship then you can't really take it any further. You'll find someone but not while you are looking for it.
Good luck.
2006-11-10 04:21:01 · answer #1 · answered by Hayley R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling ASAP and sometimes the unattainable makes us want it even more, Maybe try to switch your work schedule to free up one evening a week to meet new people there are singles clubs everyplace. Go to church many there are waiting on you with open arms. Don't be so depressed some times life has a way of sending us our life partner when and where we least expext it. If you are pining for a guy already attached you may miss your future God Bless you and i'll be praying for an uplifitng of your mind. Also in your vulnerable state don't seek love online in a chat room that can be very dangerous
2006-11-10 04:13:24 · answer #2 · answered by katlady927 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear this.
All I can say is that the guy has someone else so don't do anything stupid that will end up with people getting hurt. Maybe this is just a life-experience for you to learn from.
you have the internet so perhaps you could make friends that way?
Or if you really need a social life maybe you need to look at your job and ask if it's right for you at this time.
Good luck.
2006-11-10 04:14:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't give up your hope because your time will come for happiness and love. Just enjoy your life right now and before you know it, the man of your dreams will come and sweep you off of your feet. It's like this, don't go looking for him, let him come looking for you. It worked for me and I know it will for you. As far as your friend goes, I think you should tell him how you feel so you won't be wondering, "what could have been if I told him that I had feelings for him." Don't do that to yourself cause it will make you crazy. Just go out, have fun, have some drinks and enjoy being you! Good luck and make the most of yourself!!
2006-11-10 04:16:00 · answer #4 · answered by frakmomma04 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon, I've been in the same situation - until recently. I obsessed about a guy (who is much like the guy you describe) - the only way to go forward is a) tell him how you feel (regardless of his girlf) just so you get it off your chest or b) out of sight, out of mind (that worked for me). It sounds to simple and passe to be true, but I think those are the only options. One thing you shouldn't do is obsess about him - that's a killer, girlfriend.
As for meeting someone else, what about guys at your workplace? Good luck and try not to stress - things usually just fall into place.
2006-11-10 04:20:27 · answer #5 · answered by Egg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are depressed and that is a bad sign talk to someone or get professional help sounds extreme I know but it would only help it can't hurt, secondly quit this guy, he is unintentionally causing your depression, he represents something you believe you can never have, third I do think you should take sometime off if you can, don't let them talk you out of it you need it, and I suspect you are more than entitled to it.
You have been working to hard and the need to relax is beginning to manifest itself.
2006-11-10 04:34:05 · answer #6 · answered by Solitary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep a distance so you'll not be trapped deeper. You will end up looser, if eventually, he's not after you. Stop being a workaholic (you sound like), to give you a breather to see other guys. Don't be a jerk to yourself. It's impossible not to meet a friend to hang around with you. You just don't give them the chance. Try to have time, BE HAPPY, you simply deserve it.
2006-11-10 04:14:18 · answer #7 · answered by Shirbol 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, forget this guy. Don't waste your time on something that you cannot have. You will have to force yourself to make time to get out and meet people. If you live by a park, go for a walk. You may meet someone and it will also keep the depression at bay.
2006-11-10 04:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by SHOE HO 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take a couple of weeks sick leave,take time out for you.You have to get over the fact that you cannot have this man,your just having a crush and the faze will pass and you will realise how silly you have been.We all go through life fancying people who we have no chance of a relationship with,its just part of human nature.
2006-11-10 04:13:43 · answer #9 · answered by candyfloss 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Drag yourself out if you have to, I did in the past and got used to going out alone. You'd be surprised at what doors can open up to you,let yourself be open to new friends and you'd be surprised what can happen...A perfect stranger started a conversation with me just as I'd given up on men. And one year later, I ended up marrying him and moving with him to Europe. I would have never thought that!Good luck my friend...
2006-11-10 04:16:19 · answer #10 · answered by kick it 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋