To Those In Adult Relationships (Especially Women)....Have You Found That It's Sometimes Best To.......?

Question

Not expect too much out of your relationships? Doesn't it seem that when you expect too much, you often end up being disappointed and let down? In my case, twice in a row, i've ended up in long term relationships where the person often made promises (empty ones), but never made good on their word. So, i've found that in my current relationship, i'd rather just expect nothing, ask for nothing, and let whatever happens happen; rather then getting my hopes up, and being disappointed, and that seems to work so far. Is there a way to have low expectations, but still maintain high standards?

Answer 1

Sorry, but I am a man and I had to chime in. That is the worst attitude that you could ever have going into a relationship! You are a wonderful, bright, and exceptional person... you are the only YOU there is on this whole planet! You have every right to hope for and expect one hell of a lot from the person you give yourself to! No matter how many losers you have to endure to find the right one never lower your expectations or your standards! Find the person who can live up to them or exceed them girl! We all get our hearts kicked in... that is human. Like the song says: "A heart that hurts is a heart that WORKS"! Don't change yourself! Be strong! :)

Answer 2

I absolutely have felt this way. I always say that once a man thinks he's "got" you, things change and we are suddently disappointed because he isn't working on making us happy anymore. I found this out with BOTH of my marriages. And I have come to realize that if you just don't expect, and take things as they are, it's all ok in the end. I don't like to settle and just be "content", but overexpecting only breeds disappointment and bitterness towards your partner.

And yes, you can have low expectations and high standards. There is a happy medium somewhere in there. Choose a man that is responsible, smart, respectful and works hard, and that is enough.

Answer 3

Absolutely! I know that everytime I expect too much in a relationship I get let down, so instead of letting myself get hurt, I just go with the flow, whatever happens will happen. However, don't be too passive and too laid back, because if he is that way too, then the two of you not pushing for anything more could make the relationship come to a boring standstill.

Answer 4

There is deffinently a way....do exactly what you are doing, don't be getting your hopes up because that usually means that you are allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and when they are acting like a dick or hurting your feelings in some way it won't be so hard to tell him to hit the road!
By the way, you will find a good one some day when you least expect it!

Answer 5

No way! You should get what you deserve and you deserve the best, tell your man to be a man and treat you like the woman you are, or I am sure you can find someone that will.

Answer 6

I wouldn't call it low expectations....but that u are getting smarter....just tell yourself u are in this relationship for FUN and nothing else---then u will not expect anything extra.

works for me

Answer 7

i feel the same way sometimes..men just dont know what dey do!..let say like me today im at work feeling sick my bf knows it and he hasnt even text me or called me to see how im doing . ... sometimes i expect him to call or something but i guess im getting used to it too

Answer 8

yup- youp're right but- it also makes the relationship pointless and boring though

Answer 9

your are complicated