If a ten year old child talks about suicide.......?

Question

because he is deprived of electronic games, television, and movies because he is on punishment, would you take it seriously?
He is also wading through custody issues between his father and me. He's not adjusting well to the situation at all. His father contradicts everything I do , enforces no discipline, and is the "fun" dad. He is upset because here there are rules and due to the fact we have a larger family, less money to play with. I think he makes these comments just to make me feel bad so I give him what he wants. What do you think?

He has been in counseling for about 3 months now.

I don't give into him, as a matter of fact we had an incident this morning where he went as far to pretend to run away. Once we found him ( he was hiding in the basement ) I still made him go to school.

I have custody, just a considerable amount of the things his father was saying and doing bordered abuse, that's what the custody issues were about. My son has 2 younger brothers not by "fun" dad and "fun" dad insists that because he didn't help create them they are not my eldest ones brothers. He also made a tape for my son to listen too in which he had a friend leave a msg stating," I don't want him anymore, he's not my son, and you can have him." My son came home thoroughly distraught and wouldn't even look at me. When I finally got him to talk to me he told me he knew what I had said. I was confused, then he told me daddy played the msg for him and told him it was me. The guy is really ******* up my son.

No where did I say I was recently divorced. My son's father and I split in high school, he left, I remarried shortly after he turned a year old to maintain a father figure (big mistake), a year into the marriage my ex-husband became physical, we ended things 3 years later, I was on my own (dating periodically but not letting my children meet any of them) for nearly 2yrs, met my fiance, dated him for a year and a half before moving in and deciding to get married and have been a couple for nearly 5 yrs now. "Fun" dad didn't come back into the picture until after I met my fiance. He has now filled my son's head with the idea he is going to leave once I marry my fiance because my son won't need him ("fun" dad) anymore.

Answer 1

I think he is just saying it to get attention. But even though, this could be a very seriouse situation. This is something you can't just look away from no matter what. I suggest taking him to a councelor, or even talk to a councelor at school. It is better to help him now, before he really would try something like that.

Answer 2

He's probably just saying it to get his own way - but it's still a serious statement.

If your able to talk to his father, let him know what your son is saying and why - for god's sake don't accuse the father of making things worse! He'll become defensive and things could get worse! Remind dad that this is just what his son is saying and that he should be aware of his son's feelings.

You should try to send your son to counceling, simply because you & dad have custody issues. Your son is torn between the 2 people he loves the most in the world and now he's trying to set new boundries in this new world. It is scary for a child of any age.

As for his punishments, you have to explain to your son that his actions have concequences - this is how life is. Be sure to emphasize the rewards he gets for being good. How did he get the video game in the 1st place? Because he was good and deserved it.

It sucks to have to be the one to implement rules and bounderies but this is how the REAL WORLD works. Let him know that you still love him as much as before and always will and that it hurts you to see him in so much pain that he would rather not live.

Breaking up a family is never a wonderful experience and never easy. He's 10 and old enough to understand somethings about life. Through caring and open conversations he should hopefully come around and accept that this is the way things have to be.

Answer 3

Oh my God, when I read your question I was almost in tears.
You have a difficult situation and will need to take some serious action.
If the dad doesn't cooperate you are going to have a manipulative child, it is also affecting your kid, this separation and all the feauding going on is quite damaging to a child, there seems to be a hostil environment and the child desperately wants out, how about talking to your child more, sitting down with him explaining certain things and the rules, what you expect from him in a very loving way and taking away some of the games, movies, toys and what have you a little bit at a time and not so drastically, as this may be the only escape he has to deal with his sad reality, he feels abandoned & unloved.

Your parenting skills need to be up to par, (I'm sorry to say this bluntly) otherwise he'll grow up to be a person with lots of unresolved issues, they are starting to be unsolved, he is not being understood and cared for the right way, if children early on have these negative emotions and patterns, when they become teenagers more difficult thngs begin to unfold and becomes a very troublesome person. It is crucial you take some action and don't feel everyone is against you, it is up to you to turn this around, the dad sees you as the mean, critical mom and is also giving your child this image of you, because he is playing you and using your child's wants to a degree to make you feel and look bad. You need to be a good negotiator with your child and you need to communicate with this man with no hostility and just very down to the point, let him know that manipulation is the worst thing to use and will only make your child a rotten person, and he will not learn those patterns, a big mistake people make is talking bad about the child's mom or dad to the child, this has a big impact on the child.
You are the parent not the child and you'll need to take control of the situation in a wisely way, if you feel lost or overwhelmed seek assistance or read websites on parenting tools and training.
Teaching your child good things and knowing how to speak to them, negotiate and discipline them the right way is a huge job, but it must be done. Don't let this man get the better of you, I know certain people or things can bring out the bad in us, but it is here where you need to show who you really are, don't let any of his words intimidate you, tell him nothing that you say or do will make me feel bad. You'll need to get a hold of those tools soon and read, read, read. This will really help you.
Best wishes.
http://www.positiveparenting.com/

Check out this websites.

Answer 4

You and your son's father need to talk and now. Yes 10 year olds commit suicide and yes you should take this seriously. You said he is currently in counseling and that is good make sure his councilor knows that he is talking about suicide. Tell his father he is talking about suicide he needs to know. I have only 1 question for you how could you get involved with a new partner so quickly after a divorce? Did you not think of your child at all or only of yourself? You have made his normal problems of adjustment a 100 times worse and do not seem to realize that you are in part to blame for his problems. Saying that you think he makes these comments just so you will feel bad tells me that you are very selfish. Perhaps you should let his Dad have custody. Maybe that would be better for your son.

Answer 5

It sounds like your boy might need some help. If you can't afford some professional help, ask your religious leader where you can get some help, maybe even some financial assistance in this area. I did this when my 8 year old son was having trouble with his social interactions. I went to my church leader, who referred me to a psychologist of my faith. When I mentioned that we couldn't afford that, we received assistance from the church. You can't be too careful when kids talk about suicide. If he's not serious and you get him help anyway, what's the harm? But if he is serious and you ignore it, how would you feel if he followed through? You would have that in your head forever, hearing him tell you that he was going to do it. Don't change your rules or give in to his demands, but make sure you give him lots of hugs and kisses. And talk to him every day about his feelings. Ask him about school and what he did at his dad's house. Talk to him, love him and discipline him. That's all you can do. Good Luck!

Answer 6

I think you should take your son to a counselor. He is reeling from the broken home and the lack of guidance from his father is not helping. Plus, he has a new family to deal with. Ideally, it would have been better for you not to remarry, but what's done is done.

Suicide talks coming from a 10 yr old? Huge red flag. Do something NOW.

Answer 7

You can never be sure... I mean, I think we all had the "I wish I was dead" moments in adolescence. A lot of those moments are to try to make your parents feel guilty..
That being said, suicide is a serious issue. If he feels he's being torn between you and his dad, he may be having some serious emotional issues.

My reccomendation would be to talk to his pediatrician . He can give you his professional opinion, and if need be, refer you to a therapist.

Good luck. I'll be praying for your family.

Answer 8

You need to get him into some sort of counsilling. He's talking about suicide not because of the games tv etc but because of all the stress of the custody issues. He doesn't know how to handle what he's feeling. You need to try to talk to the father about him and how you can work together to make this easier on the kids if that's possible to talk to him.

Answer 9

You're the Mom, do not tolerate threats of suicide, nor any bad behavior, your child needs your love, discipline, and guidance, and do what is necessary to help your child understand that his father has many problems, of which will result negatively upon your son, thus restrict his time with his father, and do what you can to make his father understand that his behavior is not beneficial to your son.

Answer 10

i think u should get him counseling any way ,because he is a child of divoce, and only ten years old and is expressing anger about it in taking it out on u ,he needs help expressing his real feelings in a healthy way,if u do nothing about it , it will just get worse , good luck, and god bless u all, p. s. father should be involved in this also, if not at least take your son