Ok, here's the situation: My mom & 15 yr old sister is staying with my grandma. My mom works 2nd shift so my grandmother is there with my sister while mom works. My sister has a b/f & when she wants to go out to eat with him & my cousin & his g/f but my grandma gets mad & tells her she can't go. Mom says it's ok since they are out with other people & they are only going to eat & go to movies. Mom says at least they aren't being bad & getting into trouble, drugs, etc. Grandma says its her house & she can tell her what she wants. She even gets mad & fusses with mom. My dad is an alcoholic & he hasn't raised us & doesn't want us to date. He is mean so mom doesn't let him know sister has a b/f but now grandma keeps threatening to call him & tell him everytime she gets mad at my sister or my mom! Mom really needs to be on her own but she can't afford to. It's just a mess. I'm glad I'm married & don't live with them anymore. Does anyone have any advice??
2006-11-10 03:47:35 · 9 answers · asked by beachbum26 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh, wow! Big issues. It IS grandma's house. But it isn't her responsibility to make the rules for your sister. That is your mother's business. Grandma gets to make rules for her house, and can say who helps clean, how things should be, etc. But NOT whether your sister can date, etc. But grandma is too old for all this stress, too. I feel for her having her daughter and granddaughter moving back home and all. This is the time of HER life when she should be able to relax and not have all this stress under her roof. Yes, your mother needs to find a place she can afford to live with your sis, OR she should tell grandma that she needs to be able to make the rules for her own child. She's an adult. She needs to tell her mother that she is in charge of the sister and will make the rules for her, but that she will pay grandma RENT for the room they share; just like a tenant. Landlords don't make dating rules for their tenants, you know. 15 year olds don't need babysitters, either. So Grandma should take the rent, do her own thing and let your mama worry about what's happening social-wise with your sister. As to Grandma threatening to call the Dad. Who cares? What's he going to do? It's not his house and he has abandonned his duty as a father already by being drunk. He doesn't have a legal leg to stand on. If he comes over to cause trouble, your mother or sister can call the police. Do you and your husband live close enough to give your mother and sister a room just until Mom gets on her feet and can move out? Surely, there's a solution somewhere.
2006-11-10 04:02:45 · answer #1 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you know the saying "it cost to be the boss" . Your grandma is a little out of control, She is not the parent, what should happen is your mom should sit her down and tell her she raises her daughter and if she says she can go out then that's that! now if your grandma says that that is her house and what she says goes then your mom has 2 choices move out(find a roommate) or your sister has to follow your grandma rules plain and simple.
2006-11-10 12:10:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, where do you stand on the situation at hand? Do you think your 15 year old sister should date at such young age? Grandmama has her rules in her house and they should be followed. Even if it comes down to your grown mother. When you live with someone you have to follow their rules or get your own. If you believe that it's okay for your little sister to date and mom can't afford her own place let them move in with you. Just a suggestion. Good Luck and GOD BLESS!!!!!
2006-11-10 12:52:48 · answer #3 · answered by kryptonnite2000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In this situation, grandma seems to be right. Look she has spent her life, she has much more practical experience than all of you. You say that your father is addicted to alch.. Then how are you advocating your sister's case. These bf, gf, dating, movies lead to these addictions. Why don't you ask your sister to work hard on her education and prove herself to be some thing respectable, responsible, productive with high moral values.
Though you know your mom is working very hard to meet expenses but you don't wana that your sister gets higher education or some professional like medicine, engineering etc. and makes her future bright.
It seems that you are trying to mislead her by guiding her in wrong direction, using an umbrella of sympathy.
2006-11-10 12:20:32 · answer #4 · answered by MY Regards to All 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Firstly it is sad that a grown woman is still being kept under the wing of her mother. However until your mother can make it out of the situation she is in there is nothing she can do. You can't bite the hand that feeds you.
2006-11-10 11:50:38 · answer #5 · answered by Malie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grandma's house/Grandma's rules
2006-11-10 11:50:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with all of them and talk the issues through. All of you should agree on the outcome.
2006-11-10 11:50:49 · answer #7 · answered by Triestobewise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
woe first but i think YOU should raise some money to give to your mom to rent a condo or apartment
2006-11-10 11:52:17 · answer #8 · answered by Jess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ur g-ma is being very spiteful and i think that your sister should just snekand do it
2006-11-10 11:51:40 · answer #9 · answered by take it or leave it 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋