She has always been a independent head strong girl but lately she has been arguing about anything and everything. She has always had the same chores, clean her room, help feed the dog, and help clean up her dishes after a meal, but now she refuses to do them saying we treat her like a maid. If I tell her no about anything she says I don't love her and I'm just being mean. I always reassure I love her and spend extra one on one time with her. How can I get her stop acting out but most importantly what could be her reason for this new behavior?
2006-11-10 03:31:33 · 16 answers · asked by Trisha 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Thank you to all those who are trying to help. I've tried some of the useful ideas from the parents who care and some of them are working. Jeannie S. do you have any suggestions on chores that she can do? I'm glad you pointed out that your six year old is going through the same thing it helps to know that it may very well be an age thing.
2006-11-12 09:45:23 · update #1
I have a 6 year old son who is expressing this same behavior. It's like he's too big for his britches now! I think it is just a phase that they are going through, they just started first grade and they think they know everything. What I have done is change up some of his chores, giving him new ones and also giving him a small allowance if they are completed, without argument. Good luck.
2006-11-10 03:41:19 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Jackson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just that - a game. She's testing her bounderies and voicing her frustrations.
Maybe it's time to change her chores, kepping her room clean will be a lifelong chore...but maybe tell her that now she can walk the dog (gives her a sense of independance to leave the house on her own, even if it's just around the block) Get her to help fold her own laundry and put it away. Also, you didn't mention it but maybe start offering an allowance.
Now that she's 6 and seems to be able to handle some responsibilities - offer up some new rewards as well. Let her choose the Friday night movie rental. Have a friend sleep over in her 'clean' room. Let her help you make a special treat (cup cakes or cookies are always good, milkshakes are my kids favorite)
I whent through all of that 2 years ago and it's starting up again now that she's 8. This time around I'm showing her how fortunate she is by having her do some volunteer work. We go to the local Food Bank and fill orders for needy families, occasionally we also deliver them. This opens her eyes a bit and let's her appriciate what she has. You can always look at a local animal shelter (your local vet might also be looking for 'dog walkers') or hospitial even senior's homes.
Unfortunately, these bouts of rebellion will only get worse as she gets older - but if you handle them well now the teen rebellion should be much easier.
Good Luck!
2006-11-10 03:55:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 7 year old son is the same way. I have been reduced to tears so many times by him and still after years of going to doctors after doctors. He also has a mild case of ODD along with the ADHD or so they so. I am at wits end. And I do believe that younger children learn how to behave likewise. I have a 5 year old daughter and an almost 2 year old son and can see some of these learned behaviors coming out. I have been reading a book called The Explosive Child that my mom sent me and I am looking forward to seeing if some of their advice will work. Hang in there. Don't feel bad for needing a break every now and then. Stress isn't good for anyone especially pregnant women.
2016-05-22 02:50:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her small chores first she is only 6, all these chores you have made her do IS to much for a young child to handle. but don't give in to her either, let her know that you love her , but it is going to be like this.......if she refuses explain to her the reasons why you make her do chores, so when she gets older, and has her own family she will know how to take care of the house, or make chores fun, go buy a chore guide with rewards this does work. walmart , target will have these guides. and no your not being mean, if you knew how many times i here that, she is just mad
and by saying things mean to you makes her feel better, and when she says she does'nt love you just say ....well i love you and you are not going to talk to me like this again. your the parent she is the child, show some control on your part. show her who's boss and that this is how it's going to be rather she likes it or not. just remember don't give her a load of chores just little by little.
2006-11-10 03:51:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess would be she is picking it up at school. The vast majority of children do not have chores at home. I think having regular chores is an important part of teaching responsibility.
Talk to your daughter and tell her that it is important for all family members to help out around the house. Ask her if there are some things she would rather do around the house to help out. Maybe a little variety in the chores she does will help.
2006-11-10 03:37:37 · answer #5 · answered by Shalvia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all children will play these games if they feel they can get out of doing something. They will try to make you feel sorry for them by saying such things. One thing to remember is that if you let them play these games they will continue to. Do not allow her to NOT do her chores. Give her the attention she needs and reassure her that you love her. But don't let her get out of doing things this way. My daughter was the same way when she was younger. It got way out of hand. Then when I had my son he tried it,...but I let him know that it wasn't happening and it stopped. Tell her you love her but she isn't going to make you feel bad just to keep from doing chores. Tell her that when she grows up she will have to do much more than she does now and it is all about being responsible. If the dog is her pet tell her that if she doesn't want to take care of it that you will give it to someone who would love to take care of it. Believe it or not children have a way with playing their parents. The only mistake you can make is allowing her to win these games. Best of luck to you and your daughter.
2006-11-10 03:42:13 · answer #6 · answered by Dana A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably picked it up from a friend at school. At home she sees it works and that you are spending extra time with her.
Rather than reinforcing her behavior you need to stick with your rules and take away privileges when she argues. When she does things without an argument that is a time for extra rewards. It is tough but the alternative is she will manipulate you more and more if you give in.
2006-11-10 03:36:41 · answer #7 · answered by Rich Z 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hold your ground..or she will win
when she says you treat her like a maid.... tell her You might think that but if I treated you like a maid .. you'd be doing a better job than this at your chores...
When she accusses you of not loving her... throw it back at her and tell her that she doesn't love you either because she is acting very rude to you...
Keep turning everything back on her.. you are not the maid either
foremost..YOU are the parent..not her friend.. she has friends.. she needs a parent .. a role modle .. don't enable her to be a spoiled brat... you don't do any service to kids by enabling them to manipulate things into their own way
Go to your room till you can be nicer and show some respect
2006-11-10 03:38:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She continues to do this because you reward her behaviour. When she tells you that you are mean and don't love her you "spend extra time with her and give her reassurance". If you want the behaviour to stop then you have to alter your reaction to it. Be firm when you tell her no and when she tries to argue, ignore it, give her time out, or whatever your standard punishment is for not listening. And don't break when she starts the "you don't love me" routine. When her behaviour is good, that is the time to be spending extra one on one and showing her how much you love her. Good luck.
2006-11-10 03:48:00 · answer #9 · answered by chicchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kids are crafty.
if it works, she'll continue. just be firm, it'll blow over.
if cleaning her own room, feeding the dog, and cleaning her own dishes are her only chores, she's getting off light. maybe you could try and explain all the things you do, ON TOP of working to provide food, shelter, fun, etc for the family. comparably, she does very little.
i know it's hard to reason with 6 year olds, but try presenting irrefutable evidence.
2006-11-10 03:44:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋