she doesn't understand i have to work hard and often...why not?

Question

it bothers me like hell when she thinks I enjoy working so hard and doesn't see I am doing it for bigger and better things.

Answer 1

Maybe she sees your time away from her as enjoyable to you. Some women think anytime a man is out of their sight, they are enjoying the freedom, like a dog let loose at the dog park. They may have a childish way of looking at things, "he's working to AVOID me". Silly? Of course. But maybe there is some truth to it? Do you use work to avoid getting together with her on her birthday? Holidays? Do you make time for her? Or does work ALWAYS come first? Can you make a small compromise? Perhaps she could bring you lunch to your office? Or you could meet at a corner restraunt to enjoy a break from work, where you give her some quality time (not on your cell phone saying you'll be back at the office in five minutes). Is she a selfish girl? Are you a selfish man? Is there some room in the middle for both of you to improve this situation so it works for both of you? Ask her plainly and honestly, not in the middle of an argument, but when you have a quiet moment together "Hey baby, I know I am working alot, and I know you are feeling left out, sad, alone whatever, what can I do to make you understand I am doing this so we can have nice things, I can get a raise, I get that promotion, I make a million dollars? Ask her, then listen, don't give excuses, just listen. Then, when you have something from her that you can do, say it. "gee babe, I can.....fill in the blank...and we can do that say, once a week, month, whatever" Make an effort to understand and compromise on some level that doesn't involve losing your job or losing whatever benefit you are trying to achieve. I commend you for looking to find answers to your problems, thats a good start. Good luck to you!

Answer 2

Are they better things for you? For her? For you both? Sometimes the only thing a woman wants is time alone with her man. After an eight hour day she would love to spend time with him. Some men think they know what a woman wants, and goes by that. I dated a guy once who was going to school, working, and all this, and after a huge fight, told me he was doing it all for me, especially the schooling. I then asked him why, because the few things I ever asked from him, which were only three in total, he wouldn't listen to, I asked him why he would bother going to school for me if he never bothered to ask me if it was important to me that he have a better job, and so on. I didn't care about his job, I cared about him. Make sure you know what you want first, and what she wants, and then try to make each other see both sides. In the end, you may find you have to change, or she may find she has to change, or maybe you'll both see new things. I wish you all the best!

Answer 3

It isn't that she doesn't understand. It is just that usually women are better at multitasking and she doesn't see why you can't do both. I have to help my husband in this area. I want bigger and better for our kids, but I married him because I love him. The hardest thing in life to do is fine balance. You don't want to spend all your time working and one day look around and have no one meaningful to share it with.

I would suggest scheduling her in like a meeting (don't necessarily tell her that). Schedule a time that you call everyday just to see how she is doing, schedule yourself buying her flowers or something sweet every week, schedule you taking her on a date every week, schedule spontaneous gestures of appreciation for her being in your life that won't interfere with your schedule. That way, when you have to work, she'll have all the things you consistently do to keep her company.

Think of a woman like a car. You have to keep the tank full and the maintenance done to keep it running. If you do that occasionally you can wait a little longer between oil changes, etc. But if you put it off all the time and never stop for gas, you'll have a broke down car that is much more expensive to fix. Your woman has a love tank, and you have to keep filling it so that when you don't have time or have to work, she still has something to run on.

Answer 4

I even have constantly seen God as my genuine Father. i think of one reason human beings don't understand is they don't seem to be yet waiting to have a actual relationship with God. they don't seem to be yet waiting for the dedication it takes to have a real relationship with God. a real relationship with God isn't right here sometime and then long gone the subsequent. it somewhat is a life-time dedication. some human beings do no longer desire to appreciate and obey, it is the actual reason. i'm so happy I chosen to appreciate and obey. He has crammed my existence with plenty exhilaration and entertainment!!!

Answer 5

just as long as you remember the finer things in life too I think your girl should be a little more understanding... whats your job by the way you haven't said??

Work hard, play even harder...

You dont want to wake up one day and find that all the long hours at work haven't paid off and your all alone now do you...

Take care

Answer 6

Some women want it all: a man that provides, but is there to give them all the love and attention they seek. You cant pull a magic wand outta your a$$ and make this happen. She needs to understand that you are working for the good of your family and her.

Answer 7

hard work is what allows us to get ahead. it's a shame some people don't share this ethic.

however, it's natural that she might feel jealous or neglected. why don't you make sure the time you have together is special? take her out, buy her flowers, etc... imagine the reverse, and i think you'd appreciate the effort.

good luck.

Answer 8

y dunt ya bring her at work wit 1 day if possible? so she will c herself dat it isnt fun workin hard n often, that its actually very tirin
and u ever gave her gifts or sumthin to show u work hard for both of u to be happy? if u did and do, she shouldnt act like this honestly.

Answer 9

We want attention, I see that you are goal oriented which is what many women say they are looking for in a guy, but when it comes to the time, we all wish we had more.
Give it some time, and explain your goals to her without getting irritated.

Answer 10

She doesn't know, or respect,
what it means to work for something.
She has probably been given everything.
she sounds selfish and self-centered.
All that is the hallmarks of a child, isn't it?

You might wait for her to grow up,
or you might find a more grown up mate.