How does it feel being a Military Spouse while your spouse is away?

Question

My spouse and I recently were stationed to Germany (it feels as though Hell has begun). We were at first given to what we thought was a Family Supportive Unit. Although come to find out they are very dishonest and break a lot of rules. I know I am not near the only one to have this happen. My spouse was recently stationed here & planning for the time that will soon be spent in Iraq. With my daughter and I here alone waiting for him for 12 - 18 months. I myself (from what has gone on) am more than terrified to stay here that long. Waiting for him and then find he comes back after cheating on me or other females doing there hits to get him. My husbands Unit brought those thoughts to me mainly with there dishonestly. During his recent field time he had planning for Iraq, the so called "Higher-Ranked" people, had the males mand females sharing the same sleep areas and bathroooms with pleanty of room to go by, choosing not to. I am looking to go VERY HIGH, trying to make sure rules are done

Answer 1

We were stationed in Germany when my hubby deployed the first time. That was for Desert Storm. It was hard being in a foreign country. However, I chose to stay there and I'm glad I did. The ones who went home basically lost everything. They lost housing, sponsorship, overseas pay, contact with the unit and updates on how their hubby and the unit were doing among other things.

How things work out depends mostly on you. You already don't seem to be handling the stress well. It doesn't matter what unit you go to or where you're stationed, there's games and politics. You seem to be in a particularly bad one. If you don't trust your hubby, you'll be in a world of hurt. They'll play off that and give other women ammo to go after him. Trust me, your trust and faith in him will have everything to do with what happens. In 18 years, I know my hubby has never cheated on me. I don't question him and I don't second guess him. I keep him happy at home.

I would suggest that you don't press the issue. I'm sure the unit is following the rules. They can't risk not doing it. There's no CO or 1SG that wants to lose their position. Things like you're talking about can cause alot of scandal and ruin a career. If you try to handle it in your own way, you can make things tough on your hubby. If he has issues, he can take it up the chain of command. However, it's not wise for you to interfere with the operations of his unit. That puts him in for alot of stress and such.

Be strong and trust in him and your marriage. While he's gone, travel. There's so much to see and do there. Most of the time, it doesn't cost alot because you can get discounts or units or chaplains sponsor tours. Write to him often and keep the letters up beat. Try not to add to his worries and stress. The time goes faster than you think and you'll find that you're a whole lot stronger than you thought you were. You'll find your own independance and still rely on him.

Good luck!!

Answer 2

you either trust your spouse, or you don't. if you allow other people to influence that trust, then you are doomed.

If you choose toleave germany while he is deployed, you will lose housing, possibly command sponsorship and it will be on your dime, and if you want to come back afterwards, it will again be on your dime, you may have to reapply for SOFA sposorship and you will be at the bottom of the housing list.

Only you can decide if you are willing to take those risks, or if you are strong enough to meet the challenge of living in a Foreign country while your spouse is deployed. I lived inJapan and my spouses was gone for about 18 months or our three years there. Had a blast. He left a scant three weeks after arriving, we hadn't even gotten into housing yet and were still living in the Lodge.

Answer 3

I do have faith that the internet kin that take you away out of your significant different isn't a good factor. yet i think of ending it and deleting that's the suitable suited component of do. the militia teaches adult males what to do while they're removed from women human beings. you probably did what you mandatory to do and not utilising a guy. do not tell your husband. delight in him coming abode what a extraordinary time for you. in some unspecified time interior the destiny and time you will each be in each others hands and each of you will tell what you probably did to get with the help of - and you will each understand what in basic terms you each can understand the way it felt to be removed from one yet another and you'd be certain in understanding that there is often something worse you have gotten achieved and you didnt.

Answer 4

yea I agree with the chick above, dont let people influence you, I did and it made it that much harder. I really didnt go the a support group, but it sounds like yours sucks. The only thing I can tell ya is maybe going to his first shirt? If not you would probably be better off fending for yourself, they sound dont like very good people.
p.s. take alot of tours, it will take up time, and europe is awesome!

Answer 5

OH HONEY I FEEL YOU ON THIS ONE. long story but after my husbands drunk nco came over one night and i kicked him out hell began with his unit. they pulled all kinds of **** and then i found out they were giving him other girs numbers and taking him on trips to meet girls they wanted him to bang. so finally his unit deployed and it was me and my roommate here waiting for our husbands to come home and we never got one phone call email or anything from the frc i jsut got a call from the chaplain saying he got hurt. if i were you go to the lowest person in the chain of command that ISNT involved in the bullshit and talk to them. whether that the post commander or the company sommander but going to talk to someone who is involved with it is pointless they will do nothing or even make it worse. better yet go to the IG office there and file a complaint.