Should parents disown their children?

Question

My parents disowned me because I left their religion (Jehovah's Witnesses). Was wondering if anyone had similar experiences or feelings on the matter.

To elaborate on what I meant about disowning.

My father will not speak to me, and hasn't replied to me in over 10 years. I have attempted to speak to him, though it ended up embarrassing him badly.

My mother will speak to me, even if it is just, "Come back to the TRUTH and you can come back to the family."

I am now a Solitary Wiccan.

Answer 1

No-one should disown their own children no matter what. A child grows up into adulthood reflecting the values that we as parents teach them. Just because we dont agree with what they do doesnt give us the right to outcast them - we dont own them. The only exception would be if your child turned out to be a peaodophile - I couldnt accept that xx

Answer 2

Awww, I feel really sorry for you, that must've been hard. In answer to your question, I'd say no for sure in normal circumstances, but sadly religion is a big thing for many people, and it's that, not their own mind's that dictate how they should or shouldn't be. It's like certain Asian religion's who disown their children if they date outside of their own cast and religion..it's commonly done, and to them it's right, and the done thing.

I'd like to lay my hand on the line here, and say that I'd say it's probably only because of religious/cultural reasons that would make parents do such a thing. Obviously there might be the time where parents disown their theiving, drug addicted children...but I think the majority will be relgious/cultural reasons.

Speaking as a mum, I would *never* *never* *never* disown my children. They could be gay, drug addicted, in love with different coloured skins...they would still always be my children. I certainly would let them know if I didn't agree with certain behaviour, and I'd guide them as best as I could...but you can't disown your own flesh and blood. No way.

Answer 3

I don't believe in parents disowning anyone. If they are so into their God ask them about this. If what you say is the truth and you believe you have raised me right why would Jehovah not save me. Isn't he a merciful God? The main question you should ask your father is this, "How can you deny me, your son whom you have loved all of my life and see everyday and then turn around and say you love Jehovah in which you have never seen?" Good Luck and GOD BLESS!!!!! Just for the record I would like to know after you left their religion what religion did you go to?

Answer 4

I write this as a mother whose daughter thinks I have "disowned" her. I'm not clear what you mean by "disown." Will they not talk to you? Did they take you our of their will? Do they not give you money anymore? Have they said you are no longer their child?
I knew one man who joined the Jehovah's Witnesses. His mother, a stubborn Episcopalian, continued sending Christmas and birthday presents to her grandchildren, contrary to JW practice, and he sent them back. He did not go to his mother's funeral. As far as I know they were on speaking terms, though.
My own daughter has rebuffed all my advances unless I offer her money. Even then she won't speak to me more than once every few months. As a result I don't give her anything anymore, but I will always meet with her and take her out to eat if she wants. I love her and miss her. She accuses me of "disowning" her even though I kept her cell phone going for several months after she quit speaking to me.
Your parents are not obligated to support you once you are an adult. If they do, they can set the conditions.
They do have an obligation to keep in touch, just as you do, if possible.
They don't have an obligation to approve of everything you do, any more than you have the obligation to approve of everything they do.
You are an adult now, and your ideas have changed (you have that right). So your relationship with your parents has changed.
If possible, I encourage you to keep in touch with them and be polite. If you do, things will probably get better.
Of course, I don't know your parents, so I could be wrong. If your parents prove obdurate, you will need to find new community and new family. I wish you the best.

Answer 5

I know somebody who also had a parent who was a jehovah's witness and he was too then he left them, and was not disowned. I think this has everything to do with the individual in question. You have been treated most cruelly and unfairly.

You have a right to believe what you want to, your parents should understand that better than most!

S
x

Answer 6

Hi>
My answer is no, of course not.
If you differ or wander from your parents beleifs, that should not be a problem.
My parents are C of E Christian, and I therefore have adhered to that by family tradition, but I have also visited Mosques when living in the Mid-East, and worshiped accordigly.
So it should be.
I am amazed that your parents have "disowned" you.
Can't be right. I would have a word with them about your current faith.

Bob.

Answer 7

My husband was disfellowshipped when he met me. His parents were told not to have contact with him, as were his friends and anyone else who was a witness. His parents said that they would not disown him. Some of his friends still talk to him but some dont.

I fail to see what good this does to anyone? Do they do this to teach you a lesson? I really feel sorry for you. Your parents did not have to disown you for your beliefs.

Good luck

Answer 8

if parents aren't happy with their childs decision then that's OK, but it doesn't mean that they have to or should disown their son just because they don't have the same view point.

I don't like everything my parents do, but there's no way i would ever want them out of my life.

I guess i would just look at it, like it's their loss. After all there the ones who are going to miss out on you achieving your goals, getting hitched etc..

Answer 9

I wouldn't disown my children for leaving our religion. We're not Jehovah's Witnesses though.

Answer 10

I have never been through anything like that, but i know people who have and i have a child myself and I would never disown her for nothing. She means too much to me. Parents who disown their kids are no better then their kids and shouldn't put their selves above them.