My boyfriend and I were together for almost 2 years, most of it long distance. We have had our share of problems, but I know that he really loved (and still loves) me a lot. A few weeks ago, I finally decided that I couldn't continue the relationship anymore for many reasons, so I broke it off. He was very upset by the news and still refuses to admit that we've broken up... he still thinks of me as his girlfriend. We are still in contact, and he tells me over and over how much he loves me, misses me, etc. While it's sweet in a way, I can't keep being sucked back into that relationship. So what's the gentlest, most humane way to get him to back off?
2006-11-10 03:09:54 · 12 answers · asked by kiki 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't know what else you can do that is gentle and humane..
You have already told him that it is over and he won't listen..
Tell him that you have another b/f..You love someone else....
2006-11-10 03:12:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you inlove with him still? i mean you could still love him but sometimes when the passion is gone, love changes into maybe frienship love or family love. I think that may be the case for you. I mean everyone has differences lol that's the whole point of a relationship; working around those issues in order to strenghthen your devotion for eachother, otherwise it's a pretty boring relationship. Opposites attract.. and the reasons you suggest such as him no wanting to travel and being lazy are not good enough reasons to end an engagement. It is the diferences you guys have that can possibly help the other where they are lacking; the different qualities and strengths and weaknessess that can be shared upon and improved. But when feelings change the desire for working things out simply is not there anymore. And it could be the same in his case if hes not willing to make any efforts. People just give up. I think you should be honest with yourself and re-evaluate your feeling as well as have a discusion with him. If you two truly love eachother work it out. But if your hearts are not in it the leave and dont look back. Everything happens for a reason and i'm positive something good will come out no matter what you decide to do. Best of Luck
2016-05-22 02:48:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is never a "gentle" way. It is like taking the tape off the bandage, you do it quick and get it over with all @ once, or you go slow and lengthen the pain. Some people can handle keeping in contact w/ a person that they once loved and it becomes a wonderful friendship, sometimes to the dismay of a new love. Other's can't handle it. As hard as it sounds the most humane way might just be to make a completed division don't attempt to keep in touch. It will hurt but if you keep acting like friends he may never accept that you are no longer together. If he is that good of a person, give him a few months to a coupld of years then try to get in contact again.
2006-11-10 03:16:13 · answer #3 · answered by tera_duke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that he needs to accept the fact that you two are not together. You sound like you still love him, but in a friends only way. Make sure that you are firm in tell him this. If he can't accept it, then you need to tell him you guys can't be friends anymore and go thru with it. It's always hard to lose someone you love, and it takes time to get over that. Maybe you need to not contact him for a couple of days, give him time to start to heal. I wish you both luck in dealing with this.
2006-11-10 03:15:21 · answer #4 · answered by Nicki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignoring him for a while, to give yourself that space before you return to tell him in that "gentlest, humane way" of backing off. yeah you might feel that guilty thing about ignoring him and hurting him-but DONT. if you do, you will just get sucked in all over again and im sure thats not what you want right? so, give yourself space for a while... so that you wont feel too suffocated by his advances. he is still in self denial. youhave to hurt him- no matter how gentle your approach may be. its a fact. but be firm about it.
if hes a nice guy, maybe someday you can be friends with him again.
2006-11-10 03:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anna D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just come out and explain you do not have those feelings towards him no more, because of many of your own reasons and the long distance the relationship is no longer there, and its best that you both move on, but to remember that you will be there as a friend nothing more, its hard not to feel nothing no more for someone, but they need to know the truth, there is no beating around the bush about it, you have to come out and tell him that you no longer have feelings for him and that you would love for him to move on with his life and find someone who will love him as much as he loves them!
2006-11-10 03:13:13 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him you need some space and you'll be in touch soon but not right away as you need time apart, if he still doesn't take the hint you're going to have to be cruel to be kind as it's the only way he'll understand, you've broke off the relationship and you can't help how you feel, he shouldn't be calling you his girlfriend now.
2006-11-10 03:14:21 · answer #7 · answered by xx_lush_xx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear John letter
2006-11-10 03:11:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop communicating with him. By keeping in contact, you're giving him hope that you'll change your mind.
2006-11-10 03:13:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess tell him you care but have fallen out of love.
2006-11-10 03:14:31 · answer #10 · answered by dreamy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋