I met this african american guy a few months ago. We started out just being friends but he is seeming to be more and more into me. I really like him and he is really sweet but if we did start dating how would i tell my family. I think some of them would be behind me 100% but some of the others would more then likely disown me. Do i give up a chance of happiness because my family cant except it or do i not worry about what they say and just go for it.
2006-11-10 03:06:42 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Being of different sexes is a pretty big challenge,
but add in race, religion, age, education, social class
and you get the stuff Shakespeare is made of.
Still, it is exciting to do something new and different.
Sure you can like him, and he might like you.
Be sure you don't get lost in the race issue,
like being so into being with someone different.
It would be best if neither of you thought much of race.
Also, being with someone of another race
is not a sign of being 'non-biased' or not racial,
for in fact, some people only feel comfortable
when they are with someone they feel 'superior' to,
or enhanced to be with, as using them to protest.
That, in fact, could be a racist reason.
Talk to your people BEFORE, not after.
Guard against the 'racial' thing dominating your relationship
or allowing yourself to become 'type cast' by peers.
YOU pick the guy, and DON'T get picked by anyone.
2006-11-10 03:21:34 · answer #1 · answered by dj_of_raleigh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look lady you may not want to use advice from someone younger than you but just listen and see if you know where im coming from.
As an african american i say do you. Handle your business. First of all the part of your family that would most likely disown you is raceist. When there are people like that you cant worry about what they think, you have to follow your heart. Im not saying dont listen to your family but they cant make every decision in your life.You have to know what you need and like.With this guy you can tell he would be good if you started off as friends because you know his likes and dislikes, his personality, things he does. You have a better understanding of him as a person because you didnt just rush into a relationship.You make sure what you and him have is good and let him know whats going on with your family. Once you and him are good let your family get to know HIM and not just his shin color
2006-11-10 03:23:37 · answer #2 · answered by chrisbrownswifey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, some people say there is only one true love of a lifetime. On the other hand this sounds like it could create a hardship between you and your family. When you day some of them would disown you, would this include your parents? There are ttimes whent he suppport of your family can be almost necessary, then there are those that deal w/o family for most of there lifetime. it ends up being what is more important to you. Also taking a risk on this guy might open there minds that love is not so bad no mattter what the color.
2006-11-10 03:11:41 · answer #3 · answered by tera_duke 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie let me tell you.. I am 27 and I have been dating black guys since I was 15 (He was my 1st love!!). I would never give up on happiness to make my family happy. At first my Grandmother (she raised me) was totally against it and would not have any thing to do with any of my boyfriends... now that I am pregnant and live with my boyfriend she has come around. Now my mother on the other hand.. has nothing to do with me! SORRY FOR HER... She is about to have a beautiful granddaughter that she will never know!
I have learned 1 thing in the past 12 years... You have got to make your self happy 1st!!
(Now I did get married at the age of 18 to a white guy but we were divorced with in 2 years... I was not attracted to him!!!)
2006-11-10 03:13:48 · answer #4 · answered by Shaunna H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family's opinion is important, but you shouldn't base your decisions off of what your family thinks. It is your life and you make your own decisions. I always thought my family would disown me if I dated an african american guy, but once I did, and we fell in love, my family saw what an amazing guy he was and everything is great!! You never know unless you try :)
2006-11-10 03:08:26 · answer #5 · answered by ladyophelia7777 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go for it! It's hard to find a good person, so why let something as irrelevant as skin color get in the way of your happiness?
As far as your family is concerned - hopefully, they're a lot more open minded than you think - and for the relatives that aren't, they'll just have to get used to it...
2006-11-10 03:37:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have known him only for the last few months. Dating is fine you can even live with him for a year and see whether you will be happy with him. Dont jump in to marriage without being sure about it.
2006-11-10 03:14:05 · answer #7 · answered by rams 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother tried to kill me (really, I'm not kidding) when I was 14 for dating a black guy. I was so traumatized by it that I (subconsciously) let it affect the guys I chose for years after that. Long story short, I finally realized that some of us just have narrow-minded racist parents because they were raised among ignorant backwoods (probably inbread) white people (mine are from Indiana). Now I make my own choices and I'm much happier! Take my advice, make your own choices now!
2006-11-10 05:10:24 · answer #8 · answered by Zebra4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one in love here... No one in your family can tell you how to go about this. Dating someone from the opposite race is wonderful there aren't laws againist that. Just make sure your'e happy and if he's what makes you happy then go with him.
2006-11-10 03:53:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ABOSOLUTLY NOT!
I think that love can come in all shapes & sizes, your family should be behind you anyway, but even if they weren't they will eventually...give them time. Why should you give up a chance at love for some ignorant family members.
Nanna Fanna 2
2006-11-10 03:16:16 · answer #10 · answered by Tell You How It Really Is 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋