My boyfriend of 4 months ended our relationship by email, even though he lives a mile down the road and we've had a very close relationship, seen each other every day, and he proposed to me, bought me a ring and threw a big engagement party! All the reasons he stated for us not working in the email seemed to be things which had built up throughout our 4 months together - insecurities I never knew he had as he's not the talking type. I was devastated, phoned him and asked him why? Said I love him - he said He loved me too, but lots of things going on in his head. Next day I decided I would go and see him and return his door key and the ring. He seemed very happy to see me, said he loved me to bits and didn't want us to split. He wants us to carry on as normal. Now I'm confused. I love him but I'm such an insecure person I'm anticipating another 'Dear John' Email.
2006-11-10 02:56:01 · 11 answers · asked by emma j 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just remember: fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me! If you really want to try again than go for it but you need to protect yourself and take things very very slowly
2006-11-10 03:04:55 · answer #1 · answered by docboom2386 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my experience is that once you start breaking up, the best bits of the relationship are starting to end & you're continuing with something at a cost to something better.
the problems you have won't go away, so unless you can see clear reasons about how things will be different in the future and what you can do to change the relationship... perhaps it might be better just to say "I love you. I want us to keep what we have but not at the cost of everything; let's stay friends, or give each other time to improve; well try it again in a few years time."
what's what's going to be different now?
what I always do is think about what i can give in the relatioship and If I'll get what I need from it. I wouldnt want to waste anyone's time & I certiainly wouldn't want my energy to be spent for nothing...
so my advice would be for you to gamble. Gamble either way because you're equally likely to win and to lose!!
2006-11-10 03:38:25 · answer #2 · answered by Can I Be Your Pet? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar situation, my boyfriend is a better talker and we discussed his feelings of being tied down before achieving all he wanted to before being committed and although quite selfish they made sense.
Don't hold it against him for sending an email, he probably just wanted to express his feelings and thought it best to write it down to you.
Men sometimes feel confused and as if they are being tied down when they find themselves in a relationship which is more than just a fling....
If he says he loves you then you must believe in him, we all have doubts and fears and mess around our partners in some way or another, he just needs a bit of time to sort himself out, but keep in mind your needs too, let him know you wont wait forever.
If you truly love him then say you will take it easy, call off the engagement and just continue as boyfriend and girlfriend for a while, this takes the pressure off and should give you both the space to relax. To ease your mind and show caution spend a bit more time pursuing your hobbies and spend a bit more time with your friends and gradually he will have the time to really make up his mind. Hang in there.
2006-11-10 04:06:42 · answer #3 · answered by jessieket04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex left me and came back three times, the fourth time was the last. You say he's not a talker maybe you should try telling him how you feel about all this and he might open up to you. If you have done nothing for him to feel insecure it could be something from his past relationship/s, be very weary if he won't talk to you, but something is clearly worrying him. Just an old saying for you to remember
Those who accuse, Do!
2006-11-10 03:08:27 · answer #4 · answered by sweeteyes_72 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about it. If you can't talk about problems then they will just suddenly blow up like they did when he ended the relationship. If you think he is serious and just got a bit nervous then that shouldnt necessarily be the end of the relationship. I believe in giving people a second chance, especially if the relationship is worth it, which is seems to be. But I think you need to address the issues that came up. If it happens again then I would be less tolerant.
2006-11-10 03:04:55 · answer #5 · answered by teary chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May be he is confused. He may be testing you. Lot of things. Since he did not don anything other than the email, I would not take it deeply and continue on the relashionship.
Ask him in secrecy what made him send that email. And dont take it badly.
Good Luck.
2006-11-10 06:52:37 · answer #6 · answered by Sandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-29 00:07:25 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was pretty cold to break up by email. The guy doesn't even have enough balls to do it in person? Get rid of him; you can do better.
2006-11-10 02:59:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk away, I've seen this loads of times and experienced it myself. They mess you around once they will do it again. Leave him..
2006-11-10 03:00:45 · answer #9 · answered by Peter W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i did the same thing to my ex. we go back out now and we're doing great. the way we work is by forgetting about the past and looking towards our future together.
TRY IT!!!!!!
2006-11-10 03:00:06 · answer #10 · answered by sexy_stud829 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋