we were told he suffered an SCI and that he will be paralyzed from the waist down with no chance of him ever walking again. My daughter is 3 almost 4 and she hasn't seen him since he came home on leave for a little while about 4 and a half months ago, and she is coming up to visit him tommorow and all she really knows is the he got "an owie" what would be the best way to explain to her what is wrong with daddy? Should I try to find a picture or something to explain this to her?
2006-11-10 02:43:44 · 17 answers · asked by armywife_16 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
I am so sorry this happened. Explain it to her. Daddy cannot move his legs and he'll be in a special chair...pics are great. Be honest about it and answer her questions as best you can.
2006-11-10 02:48:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
My prayers go out to you and your family during this trying time. Children are VERY smart and even more accepting of new circumstances. If you think about it, at 3 years old her whole life has been new to her. She is learning every single minute of her days right now. You have done enough. She knows that daddy is hurt. That's really all that she can sympathize with at this point in her development. Wait until you have a chance to speak with and see your husband and yo guys come up with a way to expalin to her the true ramification of his injury. For now, "Daddy is hurt sweetheart and we are going to see him where they can make him better". Tha is it. as you learn more about his condition expalin as you go. Right now, she needs to be made to feel excited about seeing daddy and comfortable about seeing him in the hospital. The hospital is what scares childeren (and a lot of adults) the most. Just take it ne day at a time. Trust me, if a 3 year old has a question she WILL ask! Good luck!
2006-11-10 10:53:11 · answer #2 · answered by Making Them Listen 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a horrible horrible situation, especially for your daughter, I mean, if some of us adults cannot understand the insanity behind warfare, how to explain it to a child...? I hope she understands someday, that Daddy went to a far away land to kill or be killed for a bunch of reasons other folks who don't actually go to wars told him to fight for; turns out he just got the short end of the deal there. Could have happened to anyone, right...? Well, I mean, anyone who willingly puts themselves in harm's way. I hope she somehow understands, someday, in spite of the fact that she'll know that if he stayed at home with her, instead of out trying to kill people, none of this would have happened. Problem is, kids are usually just too smart for us, she probably won't understand completely till she's an adult, after childhood is long gone, over and done with.
I hope to Jesus it was worth it, or else, you'll be dealing with a lot of resentment from your kid in the coming years.
God bless you, your husband, and more than anything, your child.
2006-11-11 13:28:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! I'm so sorry to hear that. There is a sesame street DVD out there that has a kid in a wheelchair (there are actually several DVDs like that). I would let her watch the DVD and tell her that Daddy will be in a chair when she sees him. Maybe you can take her to the hospital, or maybe even Wal-mart. Wal-mart usually provides chairs for it's customers. Let her sit in the chair and show her how a person moves it with their hands. Let her know that Daddy will be in a chair from now on, but he's still strong, to reduce her shock upon meeting him. Be sure to let her know that Daddy won't get out of the chair, though, so that she won't expect/ask him to stand.
2006-11-10 11:12:36 · answer #4 · answered by Butterfly Princess 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that her Daddy is a brave man and he got hurt trying to help other people and America. Make her very proud of him and definitely show your appreciation as I'm sure you will! I thank him for his service and will pray for all of you. Not sure about the picture. Depends on what kind of picture. Talk about his "owie" and explain what is wrong with him with as little detail as possible. She is too young to know too many details.
Good luck and God Bless!
2006-11-10 10:50:12 · answer #5 · answered by patrioticpeladac 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know you hear I'm sorry alot but here it goes again. I'm sorry this happened to your family. I would talk to her and tell her what all is going on. Girls are usually more mature for their age and will kinda understand. Give her time to ask questions too. Also I would talk to your husband ahead of time and let him know exactly what you have told her and any concerns she may have. Also make sure he is prepared for her being scared and maybe her not wanting to be around him for a while. My son was kinda apprehensive when my husband came back from his last deployment. Changes scare most kids but be supportive and she will be okay.
Hope it goes well for
Good Luck!
2006-11-10 18:06:52 · answer #6 · answered by usmcspouse 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
awwww babes :(
At least he is commin home to you! I know thats not something that makes you feel any better, but hang in there with him. Keep love the #1 thing in your lives. Tell your little daughter that her daddy is a bad *** who defended freedom in a war that no one wants to be a part of. Hero's are those who do the right thing no matter what. Thats what he did. I would just stick with the owie situation until she can understand what actually happened. are you seeking counciling?
2006-11-10 11:44:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh dear God I'm so sorry!......(sorry, tears are in the way...).
I"d tell her that Daddy got hurt in a war and that his legs don'work anymore. He will move around in a wheel chair etc. Reassure her that Daddy can still get around fine and can do just about everything else other kids' Dads can. Answer any question honestly and matter of factly - don't try to sugar coat things or deceive her at all. Good luck....I know what its like to see fellow soldiers wounded etc. I just sent a son into the Marine Corps....
2006-11-10 11:24:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I have no children so can't possibly know how to answer you. My gut instinct says follow HER lead. Give her a little bit of preparation so she won't be afraid; hospitals are definitely intimidating. Just let her get to know her Dad again and take it from there. I have a feeling the hospital has family counselors available.
I'm very sorry you're husband is injured, but I'm glad he's home. Be supportive. Continue to love him.
Semper Fi.
2006-11-10 12:24:34 · answer #9 · answered by Fully armed in the battle of wits 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
With the advances that science is making in SCI research there is a possibility that the will walk again.
Go to Christopher Reeves home page for information on SCI.
http://www.chrisreevehomepage.com/main.php
In the mean time tell your daughter that daddy has to be in a special chair until they can help him.
2006-11-10 10:56:17 · answer #10 · answered by scarlettt_ohara 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋