My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 10 months now and we moved in together a couple of months ago. Things are pretty good, but we are having some trouble because I have a history of abuse (sexually) and my boyfriend wants sex all the time! He does like to do other things with me, and we have a lot of fun together, but I can tell it is on his mind a lot. When he is "playful" it is always sexual, never platonic...It is now to the point where I only feel comfortable doing "it" 2-3x a month!! He is getting depressed and feels like I don't care for him anymore, but I can't bring myself to have sex if I am not comfortable, and I am starting to think I am not comfortable because I feel like if he wants sex this much he must not respect me...what do you think?? Should I just try to lighten up and know that he respects me, or am I right in being suspicious??
2006-11-10 02:37:21 · 6 answers · asked by Figuring things out... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok, maybe I should have put this in before, but I wouldn't be on YAHOO asking about this if I hadn't already TRIED TALKING TO HIM...please don't tell me to TALK to him as I have already done that. He has gotten a lot better with the innuendos and constantly talking/hinting about sex, but still...what he does do just aggravates me....the smallest thing (like a pat on the butt, or if he touches my breast) just makes me get insanely defensive and upset....
2006-11-10 02:49:12 · update #1
I dont think it has anything to do with whether he respects you or not. However, if you do not feel comfortable having sex that much, just let him know. He should understand that you're not comfortable, and work with you. Don't worry tho, just because he wants to have sex all the time, it doesn't mean he doesn't respect you.
2006-11-10 02:41:07 · answer #1 · answered by edu_jr 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't say he has an over active sex drive just because he wants to have sex more than 2-3x a month, but I also think that he needs to be a little more understanding to your situation. Maybe you should look in to talking to someone to deal with what happen to you before. Also talk to him and let him know how you feel. He can't understand if he doesn't know how you feel or what you think
2006-11-10 02:46:08 · answer #2 · answered by Sweetness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,,my gf is in a similar situation...but its her with the over active sex drive...she tells me allt he time that she loves him and respects him so much and wouldn't change anything for the world..sometime they just can't help what thier bodies are feeling..U need to sit him down and talk to him about this..tell him that you love him very much and if you didn't you wouldn't have moved in with him..but just tellhim that you don't feel comfortable right now having all that sex.
But hun if youa re in a serius relationship then u know he's not gonig to abuse you in anyway..he loves you and just wants to be with you, he respects u just his over active sexdrive is nothing that he can help...i know lots of people that are like that, some of them grow out of it fast..but other take a while...but my opition is that if you love him and want to be with him for a long time then u have nothing for it...but don't do nothing that you not comfortable with but let him have it every once in a while..cause if hyou don't hunny he's going to go and get it somewhere else..and if you love himt hen you don't want him to do that.
2006-11-10 02:44:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men would be satisfied if they did it at least once a day. His drive is NOT overactive, just normal. Has nothing to do with respecting you or not, just being a man. He behavior to you in most other situations either shows respect or doesn't. You probably should get therapy due to your history of abuse. Your drive is not normal.
2006-11-10 02:44:17 · answer #4 · answered by Jon O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's simple....you are no longer attracted to him and the relationship is not exciting anymore.....
He needs to learn how to keep himself attractive......he thinks that how well he performs in bed or other things he does for you are enough to keep you attracted but it doesn't seem to be working.....
He needs to learn how to make himself attractive to you so that he is the one turning you down for sex.....
Think about it....when is the last time you wanted it really bad from him........been a while?
It should be everyday that you want him.......
So the problem is that you don't want him and don't blame yourself . This desire that a woman can have for a man has nothing to do with sex it has everything to do with attraction.....
Once he realizes that he will not be depressed anymore and revisit that wonderful exciting thing called "attraction"...
2006-11-10 02:47:36 · answer #5 · answered by giovanni g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to see a therapist.
2006-11-10 02:40:42 · answer #6 · answered by rilindy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋