should i stop being a baby nd just do it?

Question

This is my first propper relationship even tho its only been a month, i rly lyk him. hes vry sweet nd often says he loves me. wenever im with him all we do is kiss. I'm scared about sleeping with him tho, were always alopn in his room nd he has dropped hints about having sex, bt im a virgin nd terrified tht i dnt no if im rly ready for it, altho wen im with him i feel ver self consious bt he does make me feel loved. i was sexually abused as a child by my grandfather so this is rly a big deal to me, wt shud i do

Answer 1

does he know that u wre sexually abused by ur grandpa? if he doesn't, then tell him, along wit that u think ur not ready for it. when he hears this, and if he really loves u, he will understand and wait. nd no u shouldnt go do it because if u still hav 2nd thoughts about it then u rnt ready. take ur time. u will know when ur ready.
hi my name is dj

Answer 2

Of course you feel in love - this is your frist proper relationship. You should enjoy the experience and not feel like you have ot rush onto the next stage.

Sex between two people who are really comfortable with each other and care about each other IS a very special thing. But you should never ever feel that you shuold do it just to please someone else.

There are lots of other things to do and to try and to have fun with - kissing is great, I still enjoy a really great kiss even though i am 34 and no where near virginal. Touching and feeling and using your mouth on other parts of each other's bodies is wonderful too and might help you feel more relaxed and comfortable about your body after the horrible abuse you have suffered.

I was 16 when I lost first had sex, to a wonderful boy that I had been seeing for 2 years and had been freind with for most of my life. I wish every girl could share the same introduction to sex that I had because it was everything that it should be - I was excited, a bit nervous but absolutely knew that I would never regret doing this, that there was no way i would want to share that special moment with anyone else. And I still feel that way now. You don't sound like you can hoestly say that so don't do it.

Answer 3

Hey, chill out babes! If you feel that you are not ready then hang back!

You don't say how old you are - however, you mention that you have had a bad experience with your **** of a grandfather! What if your first time with this guy isn't what you hope? What if you freeze up and generally it is not a good experience - the next time it'll be even more terrifying for you.

If it feels right - you're with Mr Right and you are taking the right precautions, by all means do it. Don't be forced into it just because your fella has hinted a few times!

Take care and enjoy it when it happens!!

Answer 4

With you being young and obviously still upset with your grandfather, only a long term relationship, built on trust and honesty will ever make you feel relaxed enough to take the first steps in a sexual relationship.
If you are pressured into it , you will deeply regret it.
Try little steps at first and see how you like the occasional touch in an intimate place will soon tell you just how far you are willing to go.
Talk to your b/f and tell him what happened , if he loves you he will wait and want things to be right no matter how long it takes.
only you can decide when and who with to lose something you will never get back , so remember that !
And good luck

Answer 5

First to all the people who are commenting about spelling and grammer shove it. This topic is something that is important to her so blow it out your rear end. Secondly, wait. Its not stupid to wait especially since your uncomfortable with the situation. Ive been in many wonderful reltaionships before I had sex that someone wanted to but I didnt. If he honestly loves you then he will understand and not push you into something that you really do not want to do. Sex is not something that should be taken lightly. Being sexually abused, especially as a child makes many people self consious about their worth and their sexual feelings. Ive had problems with my sexual being for many years and my last boyfriend (who was my first) helped me work through the issues to the point where I no longer felt uncomfortable in the physical side of a relationship. Be honest with your self and your boyfriend about how you feel and it will work out. Dont push yourself into doing something that you are not comfortable doing, because then you will not have the best experience possible.

Answer 6

Oh Rosie, I hope you are able to get counseling about your sexual abuse by your grandfather. If he is still alive, I would report him to the police because he is probably abusing other girls.

Do not have sex until you are completely ready. If you are not ready, it will bring back a lot of bad memories. You must put the abuse in the past. Don't ever blame yourself for what happened because you were an innocent victim. Good luck, I will be thinking about you and praying for you.

Answer 7

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Go as far as you feel comfortable with!...maybe speak to your boyfriend about the abuse if hes worth anything hell understand your fears....you have to make sure that you are really feeling love or lust for this person and not just, as a symptom of your abuse, that this is the only way to have affection..or closeness even just to keep him with you...just take a sec to think as to the people on this site wuo say that you are not a virgin because you were abused then shame on you..this is not something to be ridiculed and your first time is when you are ready and not when someone who takes advantage of you in the hope that you could satisfy THEIR own sick desires abuse your trust! Good luck petal and if your under 16 still then i think you shoud try and confide in an adult that you trust...maybe a teacher or a family member who can stand up for you and support you...Good luck and you need to remember that you will come accross lots of different people in life and to get through it you need to eventually trust someone xxx

Answer 8

Take your time u will know when the time is right don't rush in to anything. your situation is a little different to many wanting to loose there virginity although i have not been through what u have i do have a close family member that has. my advise would to take your time and wait until u really feel they are the one u feel safe with, trust and love. you need your 1 st time to be special after everything u have gone through if he is a decent enough guy he will wait if he done then he ain't worth it. i wish u all the best.

Answer 9

Well first off tell him about the sexual abuse that you have endured by your grandfather, make sure you tell him that this is the reason why you are uncomfortable around him. But if you are ready and you feel it is right go for it, it is your decision and your life. Just do not do something that will have reprocussions that will effect you in the future

Answer 10

shop each thing in prayer God won't assist you down your mothers and fathers may well be upset or they may well be very happy, turning out to be pregnant is a modern from God have not got an abortion merely through fact you think of you won't be waiting to look after it there are distinctive issues that the state you're in facilitates with for human beings such as you on your difficulty i think of you're able to not wait merely tell them now they might furnish help to artwork out the suitable factor through fact that is not any good to be pregnant and depressed and under pressure while there's a will there's a fashion i'm hoping this facilitates you out like I reported shop it in God's hands and function faith god bless you and your loved ones

Answer 11

Take your time, it's early days - wait until you feel completely comfortable about it. If he really cares for you he'll be happy to wait (before the 1960's most men had no choice and waited for years so it can be done!). I wonder have you been for counselling about the abuse - you know there are specially trained people who can help you understand what you went through and how best to cope with the feelings it has brought about. Your GP would be able to refer you in confidentiality.