His ex is having his baby, I knew about this before we got together, he knows I love him very much, and I'm going to support him all the way, he said he does not want to be with her as they split up before she found out she was pregnant!
Thing is, he doesn't really like talking about the baby, he kind of shuts off about it.. It's quite a sore subject to be honest with you, he said he aint ready which is understandable and I think he does not want to hurt my feelings maybe?
2006-11-10 01:52:08 · 21 answers · asked by the_questioner 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
First off, I'd like to say Good for you girl for sticking by your man. That goes to show how mature you are. Secondly, your man is in an awkward situation. He probably feels that he's not ready because he broke off the relationship with his ex. He might feel unbalanced between visiting his soon to be child and spending time with you. Unless however, his ex is mature like you and wouldn't mind having you come along for visits to help your man feel comfortable. If this is his first time going to be a father then he probably has a nervous feeling coming over him and feels unprepared. Its perfectly natural to feel that way. What your man needs right now is your full support in which you are giving him and all you have to do is give him a little guidance. Let him know that you welcome the baby into the family and will help him out in any way you can. Once the baby is born I think you and your man will do fine. I wish you both a lot of luck!
2006-11-10 01:59:45 · answer #1 · answered by Fantasy686 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really wouldn't know how to deal with this myself being the GF of the dad to be... would probably be jealous of his ex and the new baby to be.
And i think i would resent the money he has to spend because if your planning to be forever with this guy then it will become your financial and emotional burden too.....
He's scared because he knows whats coming - all the money and being tied to his ex for ever. Pity for him he is having his first child (i assume) in this situation.
I don't know how far the ex is gone with this pregnancy but if she is still pregnant now and has some time left to go it means they must have finished less than 9 months ago...
stating the obvious but just pointing out that you must have been with him less than 9 months in that case (unless you have a soap opera past...) and maybe its a bit soon to commit yourself to this guy and his past and baggage and baby.
leave your self some room to see how it works out first and then make decisions .. lol make sure he uses protection with u until you see what type of daddy he turns out to be ;)
Your guy had better get ready and quick !- will change his life and he should be prepared. He was ready enough to have sex with his ex and should be ready to reap the consequences and take responsibilities. Lets hope he gets some "readiness" and grows up for the babies sake.
Good Luck
2006-11-12 16:01:31 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your guy is very young and is not ready to have a baby. That is what he is telling you by not wanting to talk about the baby. I don't think he is really thinking about not hurting your feelings, I just think he is very scared and knows he has a lot of responsibility now that he has to answer for. Also, whether he is in the baby's life or not, he is still responsible for paying child support. This could be the very thing is most afraid of. If you are willing to spend the rest of your life with him, be prepared to have that expense for the next 18 years. Good luck.
2006-11-10 01:58:59 · answer #3 · answered by cookie 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That could exactly be what he's feeling. He may be doing that because he doesn't want to hurt your feeling but he could also actually be feeling that way. He broke up with his ex and was expecting a clean break only to find out that he's basically stuck having this woman in his life forever. He may not have attached himself to the baby and the idea of their "family" situation. I think that once he sees his baby and holds him/her, he'll change his feelings and come around. Just be there for him and support him and keep doing what you're doing, telling him that you'll be there for him. Good luck to you.
2006-11-10 02:00:40 · answer #4 · answered by acehernandez2006 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men don't feel the same way about unborn babies as women do. My husband and I were married before I got pregnant with our first baby and he didn't have the same bond that I had with her before she was born. Now they couldn't be closer. She is her daddy's princess.
I think women in general feel more strongly about unborn babies then men do. He probably isn't sure how he feels about this baby yet or how you feel about the baby. Let him know that when he's ready to discuss the situation you're ready to listen to him and support him. Good luck.
2006-11-10 02:12:05 · answer #5 · answered by Miriam Z 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know but maybe he is trying to spare your feelings. Maybe he thinks you will be insecure about him having a baby with his ex. I mean this baby is going to make him and his ex have a very strong bond. Maybe you should talk with him about. Take him shopping for baby stuff. He will eventually come around. Or he also may not want to show excitement in front of you about the baby.
2006-11-10 01:58:29 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Vira 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you sound like a very understanding person, and it is great that you are trying to encourage him to talk about his baby, but he probably feels like he will hurt your feelings by keeping on about the child, and as he has split up from the mother of the child, hes probably regretting getting her pregnant as he may have known their elationship wouldnt work out. He is possibly worrying that she wont let him have access to his child/that he wont have enough money to support the child..he is under lots of pressure, probably terrified about it all..but all you can do is support him as you are already and reassure him that you are there. may be organise a day out to take his mind off of the worry. xx
2006-11-13 03:47:00 · answer #7 · answered by Kerry A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would assume that he does not want to hurt your feelings and another woman having his baby can be a treat if you let it. Maybe he feels like you are talking about it out of worry. I would suggest sitting down with him and letting him know your feelings. Is he sure the baby is his? He might not want to talk about it because in the back of his mind there might just be that question. Most men even when they are with the babies mom do not really like talking about it because until the baby is here it is just that talk because they do not bond with the baby like the mom does because she can feel the movements. Good luck and I am sure it will all work out.
2006-11-10 01:58:08 · answer #8 · answered by mytessa77 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think he's coping out and being a crappy dad. That child is a person. How would you like it if you dad didnt like you, didnt like talking about you, and wasnt glad you were on the way.
What a way to grow up. Not only without a real dad in your life every day, but with a dad who didnt really want anything to do with you in the first place.
Poor kid.
Doesnt matter what his reasoning is about it, it doesnt make it okay. At some point you have to realize that whats needed from you, and how you want to act and what you want are two very different things. Babies need daddies.
2006-11-10 01:56:39 · answer #9 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you are right he does not want to hurt your feelongs if he really likes you he probaly wishes this was an experience he was going through with you and is not. give him his space just continue letting him know you are there and support him and his being a father to his unborn cild and you are not jealouse you just want to support him. He will eventually come around. Space is a good things sometimes.
2006-11-10 02:00:26 · answer #10 · answered by Debbie W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋