Under what circumstances can talking behind someone's back be justified? What happens if I'm scared of telling someone the truth, because it can hurt their feelings, then is it okay? Or is it never okay, no matter what?
2006-11-10 01:31:11 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It depends on what the information is.
If you are simply sharing information about the person just to be negative about him or her, it's not okay.
If you are reporting something about the person for his/her or society's benefit, it might be okay.
For example, if you are saying to your coworker that you don't like so-and-so's outfit, it's not okay, because you are simply being negative for no apparent reason. A friend of mine says a good rule of thumb for these is to never say anything about the person that you wouldn't say if he/she were there.
If you are reporting something about the person because you are trying to make life better for that person and/or society, it might be okay. For example, if you know that your neighbor committed a crime, you might report it to the police without your neighbor knowing. But you are doing it in the interest of a safer society. Or if you find out that your friend has an eating disorder, you might tell her parents behind her back, but you do so because you hope that they will help her get the help she needs.
Great question. I've recently come up against an issue having to do with this myself.
2006-11-10 07:41:53 · answer #1 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is never okay to talk behind someones back... no matter what. In the end it will be less painful for that someone to hear the truth from you rather than by secondhand. So be honest and gentle, "sugarcoat" around the truth if you are afraid of hurting someones feelings.
2006-11-10 01:41:44 · answer #2 · answered by GlitzNGlam 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Planning a surprise party for the person is the most acceptable reason to talk behind someone's back. General rule of thumb, if you wouldn't want it said about you, don't say it about someone else, even if you think it.
2006-11-10 01:57:15 · answer #3 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say never okay. You only tell 1, that 1 only tells 1, and eventually it will get back to the person you were talking about.
2006-11-10 02:00:26 · answer #4 · answered by Mariposa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't say anything about anyone that you wouldn't say to their face.
Yes, you may say something to someone that might hurt their feelings, but consider this: you say it behind their back. It gets back to them from someone else. Now you have to contend with the fact that you said something hurtful, that it may have been twisted by the other party, AND you've talked about them behind their back.
You're better off to just say it or keep quiet.
2006-11-10 01:45:31 · answer #5 · answered by sylvia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only time I could think of would be when someone's life would be in danger, or they were going to hurt someone else. Other than that, it's rude.
2006-11-10 01:40:48 · answer #6 · answered by suzieq_64093 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If u r planning a surprise party is to OK
2006-11-10 02:06:14 · answer #7 · answered by Jim G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never.
2006-11-10 03:46:15 · answer #8 · answered by ZenPenguin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never.
2006-11-10 02:33:25 · answer #9 · answered by Black Like A Tar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only OK when you really want them to find out!
2006-11-10 01:42:04 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋