How mentally do you get past someone who will not forgive ?

Question

I made a huge mistake, got drunk and went to a family function.
My cousin, who I am close too, like a second sister, was sooo angry at me. I was wrong. I admitted it, I called everyone to apologize guaranteeing that lesson was learned and not to do it again. My cousin still will not speak to me, I have tried and tried.
She won't return my calls, I told her I loved her and didn't mean to hurt her and apologized from the bottom of my heart. I am so upset, I can't eat, I keep wondering how I can fix this. It is driving me crazy ...She doesn't want anything to do with me.
Help!!!!!!! I want some sanity here......

Answer 1

There is no easy answer to this because you have to take into account so much. However if you were to adopt, what some may see as callous, a more binary approach to the matter the answer appears quite readily. Essentially if you have apologized sincerely and asserted your desire to make amends, you have done all that you can do. It is now left to your cousin to make a move and until then you have to keep living, eating, and living the life you have to live to sustain you.

You got drunk at a family function, that's darn near every country Texas wedding. If your cousin thinks that your relationship benefits from not speaking to you, she has made her decision, now you must make yours.

Answer 2

She is blood, eventually she will forgive. But at this point she is stewing, you need to give her time to be mad, sort through it and be willing to forgive it. To continually call here and haunt her with the happenings that day will only infurate her more. Give here time. Time heals all wounds big and small. If you are very desperate to get your message across write a letter, telling her that you are apologetic and that you understand that she is very upset with you and that you will be ready when she is ready to come to an understanding. Keep in mind do not ask her to forgive at the moment. It was probably very embarrassing for her, espscially if there is a history of alcohal abuse etc. This could very well be a very sore spot for her. Or she could have spoke very highly of you and you let her down. Don't press the issue that is by now the very worst thing. Put your self in her shoes. She needs to be upset. I am sorry to all of those that say she is wrong, honestly she is not. I can say that you realized you are wrong, but this is a chance at the time that you took. You did not think rationally and that is neither here nor there, what is done is done. No you just have to wait it out. Be patient if you were as close as you said, then it will get better. But, let her come to you don't beg it really honestly looks pathetic (not being harsh) just being honest. Take care and good luck.

Answer 3

Sounds like you did all you could. You admitted it was wrong and apologized to all involved, including your cousin. It hurts that she has not forgiven you. The reason she is unable to forgive may be more related to herself than you.

My feeling is that forgiveness cannot take place as long as the person is still hurting. It is her responsibility to figure out why she cannot let go of the hurt. It may be related to a past event in her life that she is still hurting from.

If you haven't already, you may want to ask her to express her feelings. What was it about what you did that she did not like? How was it hurtful? Ask her if there is anything you can do to make up for it. Express your own feelings. Maybe say that you are unhappy that your relationship with her is suffering because of this or you miss her friendship...etc.

Good Luck

Answer 4

First, you need to forgive yourself. That comes with time. You made a mistake. We are all human. Give her sometime & some space. Stop calling so much. Don't try to push her into forgiving you in YOUR time. Let her forgive you in HER time.

You have apologized, didn't mean to hurt her & told her you love her. She knows how you feel. Leave it at that for the moment. Both of you need sometime & to put some distance from what happened.

I hope things work out for you & your cousin.

Answer 5

At this point, it is her problem. You can't control what other people do. If she doesn't want to talk to you, you can't make her. Also, it's possible to screw up enough times that someone will decide to stop dealing with you altogether. If that's the case, maybe you should try a 12-step program. You may have lost your cousin, but you can help yourself before losing any more people.

Answer 6

I believe that you have already done everything you could have done. I mean you apologized to everyone you hurt and guaranteed them that you learned your lesson. now it is up to your cousin to find forgiveness in her heart and forgive you. I hope it works out okay for you and your cousin

Answer 7

When we come from close knit families, it is hard for us to grasp the concept of rejection-like it doesnt make sense. Learn that you are a powerful person and if your cousin has in fact rejected you-you must move on, she needs to realize you are human, and she's not perfect. It's not like you kissed her husband or stripped down to your underwear.

Answer 8

You did your part. You admitted your mistake, and apologized. If she doesn't want to forgive you, that's her business. Move on.

In the meantime, take a look at your drinking. Try an AA meeting.

Love Jack

Answer 9

Maybe she jsut needs time to think over what you have done, I know if something like that happened to a cousin of mine I would talk to them either jsut coz i dont like alcohol. (long story)

But also its that youve let her down and all the trust you had with her is now gone...you have to make back the trust and its not easy. even if you can jsut try and ask her what she wants you to do like give up drinking for a yr or soemthing but maybe she needs mroe form you then jsut a few words.

Answer 10

you do not truthfully ought to forgive him only because of the fact he's your father. only because of the fact he's unquestionably one of your mothers and dads does not directly provide him the main suitable to appreciate or forgiveness, it is something that folk earn. you assert which you have one astounding determine, be chuffed for that, even though, while you're nonetheless residing decrease than their roof you will ought to play by ability of their rules. talk on your mom (gently), do not in basic terms provide a itemizing of the failings you hate approximately your father, talk as equals approximately what's occurring and ask her opinion as to the thank you to provide up it. a lot of people resent authority, is he truthfully abusing you or is he in basic terms an particularly strict determine? inspect the region as in case you have been on the exterior looking in at somebody else's existence. if that's undesirable and not in basic terms that he's a problematic father, you have the main suitable to checklist him to the government. solid success.