Ok this is the last question...... I have 2 other ones...feel free to give opinions..haha.... I have an 11 year old nephew who is absolutely my favorite. But one small problem.... He picks on my daughter and will hit my children.. He wanted to come over and spend time with them and we havent been around him in months because of his behavior.... Please dont say talk to his parents because u dont know my brother. There is no talking to my brother. How can I keep it fun and safe for all of them while he is here visiting. I know my mom will have stuff planned but I need to keep his mind off of being satan for a couple of days. Please help.
2006-11-10 00:53:53 · 13 answers · asked by texaslady78 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Make it very clear. Tell him you love him very much and he is welcome in your home as long as he doesn't hit or hurt others.
If he chooses to do so, put him in the car and take him home. It will only happen once. The next time he will follow the rules.
2006-11-12 01:47:07 · answer #1 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK well 11 yrs old is definately old enough to know right from wrong. Lay it on the line. Tell him you adore him and love to spend time with him, and it would break your heart to not spend time w/ him anymore, but that kind of behavior is NOT acceptable in your house! YOU are the boss. Let it be known that you WILL NOT tolerate this behavior in your house or he will not be allowed to come over. If he does cross the line, seperate him from the others (timeout) Be diligent in this. No more false warnings. If you have a rule in place it needs to be followed. Don't be wishy washy. It is especially hard to dicipline other peoples children, but you can have control in your own home if you are strong enough to follow through. Reinforce that you love him and complement him when he is doing a good job playing well with the other children. Kids will block out negativity . Sometimes hearing the positive will help turn his behavior around. Good Luck!
2006-11-10 01:50:20 · answer #2 · answered by mptodora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When, they arrive at the front door, just be up front and lay down the house rules. Tell the whole family (adults and children) that hitting and rough housing is unsafe and not tolerated in your home. Also, let them know that there will be consequences for violaters, like time out in a quiet room or no desserts. Perhaps, the parents will get a hint without any holiday confrontations. You, as the hostess, have the right to keep your kids and home safe!
2006-11-10 02:02:44 · answer #3 · answered by lynnguys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each time you feel like you need to say something - say it. Make his parents hear it. Stand up for your kids, apparently the nephew doesn't need that much 'standing up for' because his parents have done it enough. Well, spoiling maybe. Don't remove your kids from the situation - they didn't do wrong. Remove him. Or pull him aside and ask him 'why are you hitting?' Make sure you have his full attention - eye to eye contact. If he respects you in any way, he will obey you. Hope he has changed since the last time you all saw eachother. Maybe he got a lesson from the amount of time you have been apart. ??
Good luck! Happy Thanksgiving!
2006-11-10 01:07:11 · answer #4 · answered by Kate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that more than likely the reason this child hits is because hitting was taught in his home. If you won't talk to this child's parent's you can NOT blame the child for his actions. Hitting, violent behavior is not born into a child, they are learned and the first and most important teachers in a child's life are his/her parents. If you WON'T discuss the problem with your brother dont' call this child satan...that's a horrible way to treat a child.
2006-11-11 20:21:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to watch your children first and foremost. If he hits them, or picks on anyone, remove your children (all of them from him) until he can be nice.
This will mean that you can't sit and talk with the adults or help out in the kitchen, but your kids will be better off.
I'd speak with your mom too so she can back you up. When he sees he is getting less attention and being excluded due to his behavior, he might stop.
2006-11-10 01:00:32 · answer #6 · answered by jm1970 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The nut don't fall far from the tree. You say your brother has lost his listening skills and now has passed that fine quality down to his son, isn't that nice, I love a good family story. Are you nuts, that would be the day I would put my own children in harms way just because he wants it. maybe if you said you can't unless you apologize to your cousin for hitting her and to me for being disrespectful in my home. He's certainly not going to learn anything from your brother. If he doen't want that, then go about your business without him..
2006-11-10 02:23:18 · answer #7 · answered by MKM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i might set barriers on her at your place. She is barely allowed interior the kitchen or front room. She is to not circulate on your toddlers's bedrooms or something like that. make confident all your drugs on your bathing room is bumped off for that day. the 1st time she steps out of certain she's out! No questions asked! Been by it with my niece and that i would be dealing with it back this twelve months. final twelve months she become out in 10 minutes and that i stood my floor. I parent I artwork to puzzling for each thing I truthfully have in my abode. i don't want absolutely everyone coming in and assisting themselves to what ever they want. So we are going to see what occurs this twelve months with any luck that is greater effective.
2016-11-23 14:03:57 · answer #8 · answered by behl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down w/the little rascal and tell him what you expect and explain that the usual behavior will not be tolerated. Make it a rewards system thing, if you this .......... you get that .......!
Since you only have to put up with this little door slammer for a few days what do you care if he is bribed or not.
Tell the rug runner you have a big surprise for him if he behaves and make sure he adheres to your plan.
Bless his pointed little head.
2006-11-10 01:04:16 · answer #9 · answered by sideways 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's 11, don't talk to his parents, talk straight to him. Tell him that you love him to death but if he doesn't keep him hands off your kids, he's not allowed in your home. Don't make excuses for him, if its that bad you need to protect your kids.
He's old enough to hear the truth, and he's old enough to be responsible for his behavior, and I wouldn't hesitate for moment to correct it if he acts out in your home.
People seem to think that they can't talk to kids, but I always found if you simply talk to them with respect, don't talk down to them, but simply tell them how you feel and what you expect they listen. Why not call him before Thanksgiving and have a heart to heart? Your his aunt, you are entitled and if his folks get mad and stay away, then more pie for everyone else.
2006-11-10 01:00:40 · answer #10 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmmm he is not 3. HE is 11 for crying out loud. That kind of behavior is unexceptable for a child that grown, he really should no better. And by excepting him to act that way towards your kids, you are ALLOWING it to happen. Why don't you stick up for your kids nomatter what your brother thinks about it.
2006-11-10 01:23:50 · answer #11 · answered by Legs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋