Ok if u notice.... I have a question on here about my son too. My children arent relatively bad but they have some issues that need to be worked out. Any little thing I ask my daughter to do is a 10 minute discussion. She complains and whines about everything. Things she use to whine about when she was 4. Is this normal or have I spoiled her somewhere down the road that has caused this??? How do u put an end to the complaining and whining???? What to do if she wont stop????
2006-11-10 00:48:41 · 12 answers · asked by texaslady78 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
You've allowed this behavior and now all of a sudden you want it to stop, You parents baffle me. I'm a teacher and I see this day in and day out. Not my Johnny or couldn't have been my Suzy, they wouldn't do such a thing. PARENTS, take responsibility for how you have raised them. Between before care and after-school care, how much time do you actually have to teach your children how to be productive, responsible, well mannered human beings. You say she's whinning about things like she used to do when she was 4. Well there's 5 years of whinning that you have allowed her to get away with. Start being the parent, it will take time. But it's better to take the time now than have her or your son doing time later. Sorry if I sound to harsh...
2006-11-10 02:40:18 · answer #1 · answered by MKM 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jack and CNS are right. This behavior wouldn't continue if your daughter didn't get something out of it. Why on earth are you having a 10 minute discussion over everything you ask her to do? Here's how the conversation should go:
"Suzy, please take out the trash"
"Why should I do it, Bobby never has to.....etc."
"I'm going upstairs to put these towels away, when I come back down, the trash needs to be emptied. If it is not, you will not be going to Sally's house after school."
END OF DISCUSSION
Ignore any complaining that follows. The most important part is to follow through with whatever punishment you have warned her about. It won't take long for her to realize that you mean what you say, and whining won't work. Consistency is the key! Good luck.
2006-11-10 03:01:09 · answer #2 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its pretty normal for kids to complain about everything and try to get out of doing it by whining. I didn't worry about it too much, in fact we would have whining contests and pity party's all the time. "Whine, whine, whine, I don't want to take you to your friends house.........whine, whine, whine, why do I have to go to PTA, I don't wanna!!!" You get the picture.
If she's a good kid, let her whine and complain, but still hold her responsible for doing what needs to be done. Get a timer, give her 3 mins to just whine, then when the timer rings, she's done and you go on with things.
This is a humorous way to not make a big deal of something that's pretty normal in kids. However if this is outright back talking, or bad behavior, then correct it and don't ever let her get away with disrespect. Whining and complaining are not disrespect, and everyone can get in the game. She'll grow out of it at about age 23, then they become wonderful young adults who hopefully are living some place else.
2006-11-10 01:11:00 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Texaslady, Obviously I don't know how you've raised your kids. But what I do know is that kids are always testing limits -- defining boundaries.
Forgive me, I may be wrong, but are you the type who eventually caves-in to pressure of whining? If so, your kids know that all they have to do is keep up the assault and they'll get their way eventually. If that is the case, you've conditioned your kids to expect that everything you ask is open to "The Negotiation of the Whine." This isn't good. Can you get out of this? Yes!
First off -- NEVER engage in a debate with a child. It's the child's way of getting you down to his/her level; and you'll lose. You have to remain the adult. You say that something must be done. You do it calmly, and firmly, and then you walk away. And if it isn't done, there must be consequences which are immediate and not subject to negotiation.
And when the child whines, NEVER raise your voice. DO NOT participate in the fight. Simply lay out the punishment and WALK AWAY. DO NOT ENGAGE.
I'm not promising overnight results. Remember, it took you years to socialize your kids to react in a particular way, and it won't change all at once. But if you are consistent, eventually your kids will realize that when you say something you mean it. And living with them will be a great deal easier.
Hope this helps.
2006-11-10 01:00:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
When they were toddlers, my answer to my children during their times of whining was always, "I'm sorry. I can't hear whining children." Then I would flat out IGNORE them until the whining ceased. Now they are school aged (2nd and 6th), if any debating or discussion or - heaven forbid - any whining is attempted, my response is always an immediate, "Excuse me?" (but, mom!) "Excuse me? What is the only thing I need to hear from you?" Then they will say, "Yes, mam..." and skulk off, but they will also do what I just told them to do.
2006-11-10 01:14:14 · answer #5 · answered by kitten 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop doing things around the house like cooking, laundry, cleaning... When they ask you about it, mimic them in a whiny, complaining voice. Do exactly as they do. Then ask them how attractive they think it looks?
Another thing to do is to let them invite their friends over and then ask them in front of their friends and see if they whine.
2006-11-10 00:55:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Call a family meeting which includes you, your children, and anyone else who loves them. I used to be this way. Take away all privileges which include friends, home phone, cell phone, television, and video games. BE CONSISTANT. Tell them this needs to stop. Counseling is not a bad idea either.
2006-11-10 00:56:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her she isn't allowed to complain- tell her she will sit in a corner for 1 minute for every word of complaining that comes out of her mouth. For example : "I don't wanna clean my room" would earn her a 6 minute time out.
I am not a huge fan of the time out, but if that isn't realistic for your child- a swat on the rear end should take care of it.
2006-11-10 00:53:39 · answer #8 · answered by rottymom02 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Many girls do this...they usually eventually outgrow it. My 8 year old will whine about anything I ask of her...I ignore it.
2006-11-10 02:01:14 · answer #9 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make her realise that you two have a deal going on. If she won't do stuff for you, tell her you can't be bothered to do stuff for her. Like wash her clothes. Cook her meals. She will get the point pretty quickly...
2006-11-10 00:52:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋