when your a father what is really your job ? does it inculd bossing your son ?

Question

my father is soooooo bossy and soo controlling and he uses " im ur father" as an excuse !! im 20 and i think he has the right to live my life.. he keeps telling me to not to go gym anymore cause my body is just fine in his eyes i told him million times thats my body i do whatever i wanna do with it he got mad but he got over it
yesterday he said im ur dad i have the right to have a part in every or most decision in my life his excuse is " i cant see my only son doing something wrong infront of my eyes without doing a thing"
wtf .. i told him million times if i dont try i wont learn .. what im really afraid is him controlling my life in the future like :" dont take this job take that job dont marry this girl marry that girl " hes turning my life to hell .. dont get me wrong i love my dad i just hate his actions .. i told him that prophet mohammad didnt force his unlce to join islam he just explained it to him but didnt force him why ur forcing me to do things i dont wanna !

i told him your job is just to explain to me things then its my my chooise .. am i right or wrong ???!


oh and support ur answers with ur age i dont want to get adivses from kids.. thank you

Answer 1

DON'T YOU JUST HATE WHEN PARENTS USE THAT LINE LOL......
my mother and father were the same when i was living with them they would both say that to me and i was like shut up let me learn things for myself but they would still put in what they thought.... even if i didn't want to hear it. I'm 20 and now living out of home and they don't interfere don't get me wrong if you are still at home i'm not telling you to move out cause it's not easy belive me, but you really need to put your foot down. i belive at the age of 20 you are old enough to make your own decsions whatever they may be wheatehr they like it or not. parents always worry and try to take control i think it's just in them lol. you have to tell him that he would have once had to learn for himself and now it's your turn and it's time for him to let you grow into being a good man, tell him that you were raised to do the right thing and he sould trust you.
talk to him mate
good luck and i hope your dad realises that you are old enough to make your own choices
mel

Answer 2

Any man can be a father but it takes a very special man to be a daddy. A father loves and looks out for his son's best interests to guide him down the path that will make his life more fruitful both in careers and love. Domination is not a good thing. You are an adult at 20 so you can now make your own choices. If you feel like your father is giving you bad advise you have the right to make your own decision.

Answer 3

A father is there to protect and nurture you not control you. If you are 20 perhaps you need to find your own place to live... If you are done school and working, it is time. You are butting heads now because you too are a man and you have a man telling you what to do,,, you resent it.. I get it...
You should be independent of your parents by 20 and standing on your own two feet, unless you are ay university and they are assisting you.
our dad is only trying to protect you from making mistakes maybe he made... he can't help what he is doing... he loves you... but now you know it is time to go out in the world and use all the skills your parents gave you and more.. Show him what a wonderful Son you are and always respect his opinions, but you don't have to agree, you are a man and you have the right to your own opinions.. you can't do this under his roof....

Answer 4

I'm 49. It takes time for parents to adjust to the fact that their kids are grown up. But as the prior person said if you are 20 years old you need to be living in your own place if you are not already. Adults don't live at home with their parents unless it's short term and a good reason.
10 years from now you will be calling him to ask for advice. Also be lucky you have a dad that cares.

Answer 5

I think a father is to train a child when he is small. Teach him what he will need in life and teach him what is right and wrong. Once the Child knows these things and the child is over 18, the child becomes a man. The question also goes to another level... who is paying the bills? My answer is who ever pays, "says". If you are paying your own way you do everything your way. if he is paying the bills, you do it his way or grow up and get on your own. I moved into my own apartment at 19 because I had my own opinions and they were different than my parents. I've never lived with them again, I love them and respect them but still disagree with their ways on somethings. If my sons ask me for money to pay a bill, I give it to them, but they get an equal amount of advise. They usually don' t ask for money, they live on their own.

44 yrs old, have two grown sons who do their own thing too. one 24, one 20

Answer 6

You are a 20 year old kid. Why are you still at home?
Get a job. get your own place and then you can do what you want to do. As long as your are living under his roof he has every right to tell you what he thinks is good for you..
when you grow up enough to be out on your own and be taking care of yourself then i guess that you will be able to tell him that you are doing what you want to do and that is the way that it is going to be.. You are lucky you have a father that cares about you. Most kids parents now days don't even know what there kids are doing to try and tell them what they are doing wrong. so if you don't like your situation grow up and do something about it and stop complaining. after all he is still suporting you and feeding you..he apparentlly likes having you around or he would have kicked your butt out..
control is what parents are supose to have with a kid under there roof. after all it is there job to make sure that you know right from wrong.
and it sounds like he is doing a good job..If you aren't happy do something about it.. Get out on your own and prove to him that you can take care of yourself. but always keep the communication open with him so that if you do need help in the future that you can always ask him his advise about things. after all he will love knowing that he can still help you out even if you are out on your own and that you respect his advise to you..

Answer 7

Ok, its like this.......
He is your dad and you love him.
He wants the best for you but he may not know the best.
His approach is wrong but you dont have to rebel or dis respect him.
Learn to talk to him when he is in a good mood and try and explain to him why you want to do what you wanna do.
Keep trying things,but not negative things.
If he sees that you are doing very well in what you have chosen to do or in your studies and not getting into trouble,he will let go and soften, he will find out for himself that you are a good son and will not boss anymore.

Answer 8

yea these knida things just go on happening. Its not only u, i guess its wid almost everybody. But its just a matter of time, my dad was frm the army and im 20 myself but believe me brother i get so mad at him just going on butting in everything i do.
Just be a lil kool and calm i dont mean get dominated but do try to come down to his way of thinking once you're working and earning there's gonna be no more dad interfearing.
Dont worry