My daughter is 23 living with her fiancee and they have a 7month old son, my first granchild The trouble is she going back to work soon and she wants me to look after my grandson while she works I said I would but I said she has to pay me I mentioned $50 a fortnight ( Iam only on a pension).I will have him from 7am until 6pm 10 days straight per fortnight. They said if I don't do it for free I will never see him again. Should I accept their terms so I can see my grandson or what do I do?
2006-11-09 22:19:12 · 16 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She will be earning over 700 dollars a week and he earns the same amount
2006-11-09 22:52:32 · update #1
If you are living in Australia, you can actually register as a carer of a child with Centrelink - as registered carer. If your daughter agrees to pay you, you can give her receipts for what she has paid you and then she will be reimbursed by Centrelink. It's called Child Care Benefit for registered care, and is not income or asset tested.
2006-11-10 13:20:15 · answer #1 · answered by whingybaby 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You would be doing your daughter a huge favour by looking after your grandson and she shouldn't be using emotional blackmail to make you look after him. If I were you I would not back down stick to your guns, because in the long run if she does decided not to leave him with you she will end up paying a lot more for a child minder or if he has to go into a nursery and aren't there waiting lists?
Your daughter shouldn't say or do such a thing to her mother I feel that this is very dis-respectful. I doubt if she would really stop you from seeing him, but at the end of the day she needs to appreciate that having a child from 7am until 6pm would be very hard work. Also has she taken into consideration that because you will be looking after him, you will not be able to do the things that you'd usually do during the day. Personally $50 a fortnight is very generous. For the time being don't change your decision, and let her think about it, because I dare say that she will come back to you and apologise for saying such a horrible thing especially when she realises that she was getting a bargain with you
2006-11-10 08:15:06 · answer #2 · answered by Baps . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know that's emotional blackmail.
This is just an idea, if you would like to see your grandson,
take him for 1 day a week without payment and tell them to
organise the balance of the week.
That is too many days to be looking after a little one.
Remember you earned your title of Grandmother and your kind of offer is very generous.
I believe Grandparents are meant to be a support base for their children but not to be abused.
The offer has to come from you and only you, whatever you decide.
Good Luck to you and your family.
2006-11-10 06:35:14 · answer #3 · answered by Sara 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know, people like you I do not understand......its your grandchild for crying out loud !!! If you do not incur major expenses while the child is there, why charge them? And do you consider what you are doing "baby sitting"......if so, wouldnt it be better termed "spending time with your grandchild" ? You "babysit" others children, but spend time with your grandchildren! Society is failing for one reason, no one wants to help ANY one out anymore ! The younger generation is suffering greatly now, especially with the US economy. (not sure if you live in US or not). Its your grandchild for sh*t sake ! If money is tight for you, DONT DO IT AT ALL, because the $50 a week isnt much anyhow........Good luck and Im sure misfortune will come your way as you asking this question makes you very transparent.
Also, you stated they make 700 each, thats chump change in todays world ! Give them a chance to get ahead, be a GRANDMA !!!!
2006-11-10 07:16:44 · answer #4 · answered by Falling to pieces 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would say no, don't! If they came to you and said, "look, we really can't afford it, will you please help us out?" I could understand that, but threatening you to do it is just mean. $50 a day (for that many hours) is a good price. I highly doubt they will find a cheaper daycare for that much time!! If I were you, I would tell them no just on princible. As for not seeing him again, do you really think she would do that? (I don't know her obviously, so only you can answer that.) I would not get angry with them about it, maybe tell them you would prefere not to do business with family. If they really do hold your grandson from you over this, that is very mean. If you think your daughter is more sensible, then speak to her without her husband alone. Tell her your hurt and don't want to have a family fight over this.
2006-11-10 06:32:26 · answer #5 · answered by Sue A 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh my what a sad plight. Do you really think they will ban you or are they just trying to blackmail you? Either way, its not very good parenting on their behalf, thats teaching the boy immoral behaviour. Honestly, I would offer them to do it twice a week for free & they will have to find a good day care for the rest of the days, then they might reconsider your offer of $50 considering how expensive day care is. Best of luck to you :o)
2006-11-10 06:30:51 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stand firm on your offer. If she thinks she can get these services any cheaper, let her go for it. Just remind her that if she chooses not to let you see your grandson it will be her son's loss, not yours. Your daughter seems very selfish. She should realize that you not only live on a fixed income but that she can't go around controlling people's lives using her son as a weapon...........hope all works out well for you
2006-11-10 07:01:32 · answer #7 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
... you dont need to charge her as long she provide u with money to feed the baby. I'm sure your daughter would be considerate enough to give you something in return. She is just getting back into work and just need sort out her finance and getting charged by family just doesn't help. You should be able to cope for a little while, after that she should be appreciate it, but you should still have your freedom if you ever needed to do something else.
2006-11-10 06:29:02 · answer #8 · answered by cynical 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well, that is more than enough time with the grandson, that's not like quality time, that's babysitting in my opinion.
my grandparents watched me and my little brother every weekend, but they really loved it. it wasn't like a job to them. they never objected to us staying the weekend.
but then again, 10 days at a time is like a nanny, to me anyways. i would be delighted to spend time with a grandchild (if i had one) but not that much time.
why would they ban you from seeing him? that's so moraly wrong. maybe make a deal with them? say you'll watch him for only a few days, but the other days they are to hire a nanny for.
2006-11-10 08:55:58 · answer #9 · answered by Bitterly Sweet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No way. Just because you are grandma doesn't mean you are a free baby sitter. Who will they get to watch him that cheaply? Besides that is just disrespecting you. Stand your ground I'm sure you will see your grandson.
2006-11-10 06:24:28 · answer #10 · answered by Stand 4 somthing Please! 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋