Will I loose him? He said he does not want to be with her and his family wants him to get married to her for the baby but he doesn't want to... Him & I get on so much better than they ever did... We have so much fun... But I'm worried it's not going to last when the baby comes... She will be living away back with her folks out of London, I don't want to get between him and his baby and I want to give him all the help and support he needs... Should I worry or am I worrying for nothing? She cheated on him with his mate last year and when he found out this year he finished with her and then a few weeks later she found out she was pregnant.... I'm scared of loosing him....
2006-11-09 21:19:15 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
No I did not ask this Q yesterday!
2006-11-09 21:22:35 · update #1
Amelia Can Kiss My ***...
Like you even know the whole situation? If he wanted to be with her then he would right now, right? But he's not..... so you can kiss my ***
2006-11-09 22:27:19 · update #2
don't be scared...if you lose him, then that means you never had him to begin with. relationships thrive on trust.
my husband is military and spends a lot of time away from us..sometimes it's just weeks, sometimes it's months. it is hard, but one thing i NEVER worry about is "will he cheat".
the reason??? b/c i trust him and i know that if he does cheat, then i will move on and i will still be o.k. of course, it will crush me, but you can't force someone to stay with you or to love you.
so, be there for him, support him and his new baby. no on says you have to be his ex's best friend, but understand that they will always have a bond and that doesn't mean that he wants to be with her....he probably just wants to be with his child.
my husband and i just recently had our first baby and he is deployed for 3 weeks. he is miserable out there, mainly b/c he is missing out on his son's life right now. sure, he misses me, too....but, i know it's nothing compared to his need to hold his baby boy.
so, support him and be strong. you're part of a difficult situation and this "family" needs a group of adults, not a bunch of "children" arguing and frought with jealousy and distrust.
take care:)
2006-11-09 21:29:02 · answer #1 · answered by joey322 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is he sure the baby is his? If his ex cheated once she could have cheated again.
Ignore what Amelia says about his parents. They are probably the old fashioned type and think he should do the old fashioned "right" thing for the sake of the child. However, if you love and trust each other then this shouldn't stop him from meeting his ex to see his son/daughter.
You are only worried because you are both on "level par". You have had the same from him as she has. When she has the baby it could tip the balance. Try to concentrate on why you are together now and not why you ONLY THINK he will go back to his ex later on.
2006-11-17 00:39:42 · answer #2 · answered by robdunf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly you say that she cheated on him last year and he only found out this year and left her..How long have you been seeing him for then because it sound's like he was with you whilst he was still with her anyway. If you got with him once he split with her this year then you should have backed off, why make your life more complicated by putting yourself in this position. The grown up thing to do would be to say "yes you may have fun, but not once did you put you love him," its coz you don't. Take a step back, let his ex have the baby, he will want to be involved and you can't compete with a baby, you will loose. Your building yourself up for a big fall. get out why you can, it may hurt but its not going to hurt as much as if you keep in the relationship. If you feel bad now how will you feel when you go round to see him and the ex, the baby and her family are there?? Move on, there are plenty of other nice genuine single blokes out there. Go find one and Good luck xx
2006-11-16 23:52:07 · answer #3 · answered by SARAH S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have any sense you will back off for a while and give him time. You must be worried becase you have posted.
Do not get pregnant with him!!! especially if you can find out what type of daddy he will be first, may aswell make a positive out of this situation.
You must be thinking, mabe, as she gave him reason to dump her, he still has feelings, mabe he does... but time will tell,
Btw he should be more scared of loosing you than the other way round, since its his past etc.
don't do anything rash, just have fun and remember if you have any value for yourself you will know that you deserve perfection in your life plans and (no offence to anyone) but you sound young enough to find another "the one" who doesn't have a judgemental family and a new baby on the way with his ex. I have been in a very similar situation and i just backed off and slowly realised that i don't need someone elses stresses i have my own.
i took my rose tinted, honeymoon phase glasses off and walked away.
i soon bumped into a friend of a friend and so met "the one" < no baggage attached to this one tho - appart from me (his fiance), our house and soon our baby due 2nd may :D
This guy is not the be all and end all and it if doesn't work so what !!!
you will bump into a different "one" some day very soon.
2006-11-12 16:25:43 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Support!! that is the magic word that you just said. You are doing everything that i real guy would want at this time. Don't be afraid of loosing him OK, because if you do everything you know is right then you have nothing to be afraid of, and being a father is hard, but with the right woman by a mans side, the sky's is the limit, but if he goes with the other girl just for the baby. DO NOT loose yourself in this. Learn from it and keep your head high. You'll find your Knight one day.
2006-11-09 21:53:15 · answer #5 · answered by jeff0x0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no way to know whether or not you will lose your boyfriend to his ex-girlfriend. I don't think you need to worry just because she's having a baby. Worry if it seems he has a real interest in her. Worry if it seems he is caving into his families pressure. How strong is he? Is he the kind of guy who can put his foot down and say no? As it is, if I were you, I wouldn't tell him about your worries. You've got to be confident right now, you don't want to come across as whiney, jealous, or weak. He's got one reason to be with her, and that would be for the baby, but in reality, staying together for a baby, and not because you love each other, is no good for the baby. He has more reasons (not) to want to be with her, after all, this child may not even be his.
2006-11-09 21:32:11 · answer #6 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'm sorry but why would you wanna be with someone who has a baby with someone else? and the fact that he can leave her whilst she was pregnant. yeah i know she cheated on him and that's wrong but the fact that she has a baby they need to work it out. But on the plus side maybe the baby isn't even his it could be his mates before he gets too attached to it maybe he could do a dna test and see if it really is his.
trust me this relationship is gonna be hard but if they can make another go at it you should just step back and let him. they have a kid together and it's more important then just having fun with someone. this girl is always gonna be in your boyfriend's life whether you like it or not and if you wanna stay with him your gonna have to learn to deal with it. He needs to be a good father so he's gonna need to see his child and to surport it.
You should talk to him about you problems and your concerns. that the only way you will feel better. If he really doesn't wanna get back with her you have nothing to worry about.
2006-11-09 21:39:48 · answer #7 · answered by A New Mrs 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
My bloke and his ex have a son who was 1 last weekend, we've now been together 6 months and I'm always terrrified that he will choose his son over me. I know that their relationship was over before the baby was born but they parted quite amicably and I will never have any guarantee that he won't go back to her for the sake of his son. I love him with all my heart and he loves me, he says he doesn't want to be with her but still loves her in a platonic way. I think after so long we've got to the point where we're toomuch involved for him to just walk away so I trust him. All I can suggest is that you tell your man how you feel and if he chooses his child over you remember that he has chosen the baby not the ex and that you can still be his friend and his support.
2006-11-09 22:16:23 · answer #8 · answered by Skippy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would be very cautious at the moment - prepare yourself. Give your boyfriend all of the support he needs and when he looks after baby try to bond with baby also.
If he loves you then he will stay with you. Have you ever thought that the baby could be your bfs mates baby - she could of cheated on him for a longer period that he knows of.
I hope things go ok for you
2006-11-09 23:16:25 · answer #9 · answered by Supertwirly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand that you feel scared, but if he doesn't love her then not even the child is a reason to go back to her. This would be the worst thing he actually could do, because the child would pick up on his feelings and they are bount to argue.
Nowadays you don't need to marry anymore if you are having a child, best to talk to him openly on how he feels and then again after he has seen the child.
2006-11-14 12:46:49 · answer #10 · answered by Wednesday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋