angry 7 yr old boy?

Question

My son is just coming up to 8. He is very bright, but over the last couple of weeks he is very quick to snap and get angry. We have tried all sorts, from getting cross to trying to talk to him but it seems like a red mist comes down which lasts about an hour before he calms down and then he is sorry. Any ideas ???

No break ups, am married and very happy. We have a 5 yr old girl too, and I think my son gets jealous of her, though there is no reason to. There has been a lot going on the last few months, I had a miscarriage (which the kids knew about) and we are trying to move house. I wonder if he is unsettled about the future, though he knows that we love him very much

Answer 1

Did anything bad happen a few weeks ago? Did any routines change?

Answer 2

Wow, I have a 7 year old son turning 8 in December, a daughter 5 in January and a 4 month old son, we have moved interstate and my son has had to adapt to a new school. If that wasn't enough to break his temper we had our car burnt to the ground outside of our home the 3rd night after we moved in.
I had noticed a dramatic change in him during this time and to be honest with you i blame the stress "us" parents were under the girl however just goes with the flow. It is a lot to take in and I think with everyone of "our" actions taken, we had to expect a "reaction" from at least one of the kids.
Try and avoid talking out loud any negatives and accelerate all of the positives maybe the pressure will release a little easier, rather than one big explosion.
Hope this helps a little.

Answer 3

You have answered your own question hon. Moving, miscarriage and missing freinds he has made. He is at the perfect age for not making a move, there is something about the mind of a 7-8 year old boy that traumatises them at this critical time of their development. Some boys turn in on themselves and refuse to interact with others, some, like your son act out and even they haven't a clue why.
All you can do is be patient or not move. Sorry.

Answer 4

Are you in the UK? If so, do you watch Supernanny? She gives kids a 'naughty chair/step/room' but also does a 'reflection area' 'chill out area' where angry kids are sent to think about things and hopefully calm down. It usually takes a while for it to work but usually after a time the kids learn to go to that area themselves when they need to calm down. You could look on the Channel 4 website to see if there is information on there - perhaps she's written a book (sorry I don't know)? Good luck as I'm sure it's getting you all down and is very frustrating.

Answer 5

Bullied at school? Have you moved, changed his school? Have you recently had another child? New partner? Anybody gone out of his life? There must be a reason for his anger or like some other people have said a change in his routine? What about ADHD does he have any learning difficulties at school or is there usually any other behavioural difficulties? I hope he is ok. I don't think it's the puberty thing yet that's my opinion. Is he particularly big or overweight? I'm trying to think of everything, I hope you get to the bottom of it and it's sorted.

Answer 6

I have dealt with young boys around this age with the exact same problem. I have found that the best results come from consistancy in your behavior. First of all the child needs to know that the behavior is not okay and that there will be consequences for those actions after that is established you must be CONSISTANT with how you punish or react with your child if you are not the child gets confused, or does not believe what you say..they will simply just do it again because if your not following through they don't think that anything is going to happen and that they can just get away with it.

Answer 7

Hi,

I have an 8 year old daughter who went through a similar thing, it turned out she was being bullied at school.

In my experience there is usually a reason for a sudden change in behaviour.

I fi was you i wud explain that the behaviour is not welcome and if he continues to act in such a way he will receive consequences that will not be nice, going to his room, tv ban, pocket money ban etc.

But throughout always praise him when he is good, and re enforce u love him just not his behaviour.

Try to ignore the bad stuff as sometimes they misbehave to get attention.

Make sure u have a chat to say if he needs to talk u r there always, and wont judge wot he says.

Hope this helps Rx

Answer 8

I was going to ask if anyone in the house maybe has the same kind of reaction to things and he might be mirroring what they do but sounds not.....

Take him to a good child minder and let them see if they can get anything out of him. What is his friends like? As i say it might be something or someone that he is trying to be? T.V. can also play a big part in this too.

Go onto
www.health24.co.za

Its a South Africa web site that has doctors on hand that can maybe help, let us know but you might have to get it sorted out before he gets older.

Answer 9

What is setting him off?? Is it the sugar and caffein in sodas and junk food?? They need good nutrition to feed the brain- ect= is there a problem at school w a bully or problems at home??? That could definitely contribute= my bro would have a fit after eating a little junk = then calm down= d

Answer 10

Because you say you are moving, that explains it. Moving is one of the most stressful events in anyones life. My little boy broke out in hives the day we moved and he was alot better after we settled into our new home. Have a talk about the move and ask him questions on how he feels about it. It could be his way of reacting to stress. So sorry for your loss. Good luck.

Answer 11

it sounds like his secure little world is changing, what with the miscarriage and moving house etc, is he ok at school, has he broken friends with a mate, try and spare some time to sit and talk to him on your own, or go for a walk with him, maybe he feels that he needs a bit of one to one with you, good luck