What should a teen Atheist do?

Question

I was forced to go to church today by my dad. I could have easily started a fight, but I decided to comply. Cuz I love peace, and stability for this family. Should I have stood my ground? or complain to the church? or sue the church? What would you have done, if you wanted to stay in the house?

I listened to my ipod all the time. didnt get up or sitdown along with the rest of th "sheeps"

After church, Dad just said that,...

Next time, you sit next to me. Next time, you will take the communion, Next time.... Blah blah." (he noticed the ipod, i guess)

He also said that I will burn in hell. (He he.)

isnt taking the communion without ANY respect for it a SIN, buy the "church"'s terms? then why is the so called believer that my dad is, forcing me to do so?

Atheists, What is the best reply to eat the communion, that could make him bite his tounge? I'm willing to do anything to.... Oooph! I'm so angry right now! Eating that piece of shi't is not a problem. But Somehow, it fires me up

BEFORE I RESOLVE THE QUESTION
**** Got to answer Some Questions ****

First, disrespecting the "sacred" thing: I'm a teen after all. Hit me once, and you get hit twice. I wouldn't have said it If I was not forced in the first place

PUPPY: I thought I should go to the vicar,But that will light up some fireworks. Dont want THAT kind of attention.

BOXER "declare your intent to become a Catholic Priest" That used to work when I was 15, not now.

PTOLEMY JONES: "If it makes them happy for you to play along, fine, they can't make you believe, and thats the important thing. Getting upset that you're in a church makes as much sense as being upset because you're in the dining room." Thats the important thing ofcourse...

But it is NOT LIKE being in the dining room. If they want to show that this is the "ideal" family, I don't want my friends to think that I have lied about it!
_______

CHRISTY (KITTY): THE LAST PARAGRAPH OF YOUR ANSWER IS THE BEST. take a juicy thumbs up & he did pull out the big guns, too bad dat didn't affect me.

HOMEsCHOOLINGmOTHER: I'm greatful, But they lost the previous respect I had for them. Of all people, They failed to know their son.

Talking rationally is a skill my family doesn't have (Not me of course, but you know that already).

That is a good thought, HSM, Me converting them. Not dad of course, its almost like "he saw god" He was an Atheist once (mom said so). runs in the blood? But he was a weak one to hold on to the truth, and had to kneel before god for his children. Kinda selfish god, don't you think?
**** **** ****
And I talked to mom, I asked her If i was trying to convert her, she said "I'll be anything you want, I live for you" "want me to be atheist? buddist? anything dear." She is my mom after all!

Thats what I wanted her to be, she should UNDERSTAND my words, NOT follow it, So you see HSM, I'm not trying to convert anybody, but rather TALKING
***** **** ****

REAPY! two wrongs don't make a right. Excellent thought. And I'm still laughing at your words. You are "chillingly" cool.

HERENORTHERE (noone, Just Mandi) I UNDERSTAND, but the real question is , 'Do you understand me?" You stopped talking just because of a TYPO i made. call that friendship?

Pinx: Ugh, Umm... ya whatever.

CRYSTALLBALL, I asked you to answer it, but sorry, there are better answers.

I didn't DISRESPECT him, I tried to be polite, but its like talking to a wall. My family (except mom) are very, what you say, umm... well, they do it "by the book". kinda. (don't hate me for not getting a better comparison)

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Its kinda boring replying to everybody, *going to type something in blogger*
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HUNTER: my story is surprisingly similar to yours. here goes MINE

I was raised catholic during my childhood, going to sunday mass and participating in weekly communion. Attended ccd classes during elementary school, and even studied in a jesuit high school. Fortunately for me, my family wasn't strict in my religious upbringing and I could skip mass.. Eventually cut ties to the church completely. My transition to atheism actually began in high school where a religion teacher (who resembles JOKER, the face, from Batman) emphasized the New Testament and the teachings of Jesus. The main focus was to think for yourselves and be mindful of what others preach (because a lot of people are hypocrites). At the same time, it's also important to be respectful of other peoples' beliefs. A FEW more twists in my story: Friends in class started to be atheists too. And another religious person came to class oneday, and taught about "the new Israel" Thats it! humans imprint on what other folks do!

Biology classes in 12thgrade, and the thought of "Symbolic" masses, that depict what happened thousand of years ago, completed the equation for the perfect little Atheist. (Without Sugar Spice and Chemical X)

Symbolic + New Israel + New Testament + Humans + Biology + Need for answers +Stuff = DUH!

Hunter: disrespect? embarrassing him? Why did he have to drag a person listening to music in his room to a church full of people???? (That person didn't know he was going to church, All the boring songs and stuff made him a little creative)

And I don't wanna be embarrassed in front of my friends who go to church! They think I'm not catholic! And Thats the truth! I never lie! & I need that respect.
******* *********

One more person to reply to. Zoya.... almost done. whew!

ZOYAAAA!!!

First, I wasn't angry. I have a rough but silent voice. I don't talk much to them, just a no or yes followed by a very short simple reason. I don't ask questions anymore. They are incapable of understanding me.

You earned my respect beyond words for the following "I have done my job for 18 years of their life in raising them I don't think I should be making their decisions for them as an adult too." That is an excel;lent thought!

I have obeyed them word by word for 18 years, don't you think its time they gave me some respect in return?

And "But my goodness there are so many religions and beliefs that it is impossible to say what is right and what is wrong." That is a prefect Atheist reply! I'll keep it in mind

"Does it really matter to me what religions people choose or not choose? NOT AT ALL! Every one is entitled to their own opinion." Thats my point of view too.

No prints. Sometimes I feel I'm the only adult here. So its hard to make that kind of conversation.
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I have replied to everybody. and MAN! am I tired!

READ THE DETAILS ABOVE AND FOLLOW THE LINKS TO WHAT HAPPENED IN THE BLOG WORLD, AFTER POSTING THIS QUESTION.

A few more Arguments From me.
http://stumblespot.blogspot.com/2006/11/atheist-arguments.html

Hermi
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-CWBQ_wEhaacY.L7fwxm4WfHC8cmNlnjx?p=557

MANDI's Blog
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-1uI5es0idLM3QiDttnZ92zGAjUiA2g--?cq=1&p=1035


Special thanks to, Pinx, Hermit, Hunter, HSM, Reaper (ROFL), ZOYA, CRYSTAL BALL, STOREONWHEELS, & tensnutt. & Kitty (Christy)

& THE WINNER IS.....

Answer 1

Updated 11/14:

As I read this question I think this:
A teen [atheist] should do whatever any teenager should do. Try to establish communication, work towards mutual understanding, and don't lost sight of the fact that you are pretty much grown up and they are the ones who brought you safely to this place. Respect is a powerful tool. You can't win respect from some people no matter what you do, but you can choose to lavish it on others regardless of what you think of their choices. No matter what their mistakes, your parents deserve your respect just for bringing you to this place.

OK, that was the update.
________________________________________

I'm in agreement with you that taking communion wouldn't be appropriate if you do not believe. The communion is meant to be a way to share a unified faith experience. Obviously, you don't feel that way.

It may be time, at 18, to begin discussions about making a plan to move out of the home. Are you nearing college age? Is a work/apartment plan appropriate for you? We have always asked that our children make a plan. One even chose a half-way house so that he could leave quickly without a plan. (It was still a plan.) Two have chosen college. One went to live with another family for a time until she got a decent job and found an apartment.

Your parents have a responsibility to the world (and to you) to bring you up to the point that you can make a reasonable plan for your future and embark on it. They may not feel that you are ready, or perhaps it is not customary to let children in your culture leave at this young age.

I suggest talking rationally with them about what is required to remain under their roof and whether it would be an appropriate time to make a launch plan. Having a plan in place will take some of the pressure off of you, and it might help you comply until the time when you have reached your goal and step out on your own.

I wish you well. I'm quite certain that you will do well once you have a plan in place that suits you and your future goals. Just don't lose sight of the future in your angst at the present situation, which I can see is intollerable.
____________________________
Another thought before time runs out...
Even atheists can spend a lot of time and emotion proselytizing. Perhaps it would be good to check and see if you are trying to convert your folks. Obviously, they believe strongly. You believe strongly in something different. Suppose you reach a truce. Suppose you stop talking to them about your disbelief in exchange for them to stop trying to force you to believe. A similar compromise could be reached that would best fit your situation. (That would also help you to appear less "rebellious.")

Answer 2

Yes, definitely, taking communion without having any respect for it is a sin, I believe. It would help to know what denomination this was. But in most religions it is not a casual thing.

Now, the question is how much of an issue do you want to make of it. He probably feels that he is doing this "for your own good" and that you will come to believe, but forcefeeding someone religion has never worked in my experience. Can you try to talk to him about it? Can your mother help with this?

And you can expect him to pull out the big guns - "as long as you are living under my roof...." - I particularly hate that one. But if you really do want peace, finding some sort of compromise is necessary. Can you talk to the priest or whoever? Yes, he will try to convert you, but at least he may give you some information that you can use with your dad.

In the Catholic religion, you have to go to confession first. And it always bothered me that they would teach that God knows everything that is in your heart and mind. Also, that leaving before a certain part of the mass was an insult to God. My question was that if God knows I don't really want to be there, isn't that a worse insult to God?

Answer 3

OK. You asked me to answer this, so I will.
When reading your question, my first assumption is that you have been brought up in a religious family.(that is; one who belongs to a specific faith IE: Christianity, Catholicism ect...)What are YOUR beliefs? Atheism does not represent the "hate" of a GOD or GODS. I get the feeling from your statements ("the sheeps" "eating the piece of ****" "bite his tounge") that you are rebelling against your parent more so than standing your ground as an Atheist. I for one take a stand of spirituality rather than a belief or disbelief in a GOD. If there is one, hey that's great, If there is not one well then that's OK too. I Do however have a personal belief that something, somewhere, has an impact on our lives. I was raised catholic, I do not agree with alot of their beliefs, and am not a practicing one. I think religion has become overly commercialised and has lost its true meaning. I respectively attend Church on Mothers Day, X-mass and Easter. However the respect is more so for my Mother rather than the faith. Simply put....weather I believe in the Faith or not is not the question, the question is...Do I respect my families choice to believe? I would say to you, when asked to go, go. Do not take the ipod, do as asked (stand, sit etc.) When its time for the communion, RESPECTFULLY decline to your father by saying you feel it would be very disrespectful to HIS GOD if you did so. Because, IF YOU DONOT RESPECT HIS RIGHT TO BELIEVE...HE WILL NEVER RESPECT YOUR RIGHT TO DISBELIEVE.

Answer 4

Hey there a-man!

i'm sorry i don't have a comprehensive answer for this dilemma since we live in 2 different realms, but here are my brief thoughts..

I was raised catholic during my childhood, going to sunday mass and participating in weekly communion. Attended ccd classes during elementary school, and even studied in a jesuit high school. Fortunately for me, my family wasn't strict in my religious upbringing and I could skip mass.. Eventually cut ties to the church completely. My transition to atheism actually began in high school where a religion teacher (who resembles Professor Keating from Dead Poets Society) emphasized the New Testament and the teachings of Jesus. The main focus was to think for yourselves and be mindful of what others preach (because a lot of people are hypocrites). At the same time, it's also important to be respectful of other peoples' beliefs.

I think as long as you live under your parent's roof, it's wise to follow their household rules.. at the same time you don't want to hold in that steaming cauldron of lava. Call a meeting, sit down and talk openly with them... if dad doesn't accept it, or gets irate about you not participating in communion, i don't know what options are left except: 1) eat the wafer and be patient (to true believers, it's a religious ceremony; for you just think of it as a morning snack.. better than cussing it indefinitely) or 2) risk family strife by rebelling and continuing to listen to ipod.. That's so funny! Totally wrong, but funny :) But just keep in mind that it's being disrespectful to others in the church.. and probably embarassing your dad :(

hmm, ok i'm kind of a hypocrite, because for me its sometimes hard to have open discussion with the parents. They're good people, at least to me, but one of the reasons i left the house - a few years ago - was i needed to be independent. I eventually moved back, and things are much better now. Saving money and having company of my folks, which i took for granted before. You can call it boomerang effect, or return of the prodigal son..

Whatever it is, i've alway tried to be tolerant of my parents and other people. I have some regrets, losing friends due to stupid decisions.. but i've learned many things and try not to repeat my mistakes because i felt that the "needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many." (Sorry, I just had to add that ST line in..not saying that i preach it, because i am one of the most selfish people around)

Wow, you're not asleep yet?? Lemme just finish then by saying.. try to keep the peace. If your freedom is very restricted.. meaning can't go out with friends, need 2 hours of praying each day, etc., then hopefully an open discussion with parents or other relatives/friends will help.

Answer 5

First of all don't be angry with your father for this. He is just trying his best to show you and teach you his beliefs. I think that most parents do this as an attempt to instill their beliefs in their children.

However you are 18 years old and I know in the US at that age you are considered an adult. You are free to make your own decisions and choices.

I personally think that religion is a choice and I don't think your parents should be trying to push you at this time in your life. You should be free to make your own decisions. HOWEVER! As a parent I can say that even if my children grow up and move away and choose not to be any religion etc... I need to respect that decision. They are an adult and are capable of their own choices. I have done my job for 18 years of their life in raising them I don't think I should be making their decisions for them as an adult too.

Now as for not eating the communion...that is a sin against God to even take communion if you have sinned and not cone to confession is a sin in the Catholic religion. But my goodness there are so many religions and beliefs that it is impossible to say what is right and what is wrong.

Until I saw your question I never gave a thought to what the definition of Atheist was. And I am old for heaven sake! Does it really matter to me what religions people choose or not choose? NOT AT ALL! Every one is entitled to their own opinion.

I would suggest printing this off and letting your dad read it though and see if it will spark an adult conversation between the two of you but be prepared to debate the issue and have all your facts straight. Do NOT attack his religion but provide reasons why you choose to be Atheist.

Good luck with that.

~Z~

Answer 6

Been there. I was on my own at sixteen and just stopped going to church. It wasn't simple though, still going to school, coming up with rent money, and being able to support myself. I lived in an apartment with a few friends and we just barley got buy working part time jobs until we were all eighteen.

The problem you face is that your parents have authority over you, and the law says they can make you go to church even if you don't want to. You're going to have to live with it until you live on your own.

By the way, I didn't move out voluntarily. I stood my ground, then they kicked me to the curb. Keep in mind that some parents are that short sighted. Now they regret ever having had done it because I have openly challenged religion and I credit them for my stance in life.

I will ring your doorbell and run away!!!

Answer 7

I would suggest you get a grip. If you're an athiest, then a Church is simply another building in which you do things with your family.

If it makes them happy for you to play along, fine, they can't make you believe, and thats the important thing. Getting upset that you're in a church makes as much sense as being upset because you're in the dining room.

As a teen keeping peace with your family is still important. They have significant say in the quality of your life. Yo only hurt yourself, making a ruckus over something that is less them meaningless.

In addition, as long as you fight they will think they can will. Simply letting it roll over you will more likely make them understand that you have made your decision, and are not going to change.

Good luck.

Answer 8

((Eating that piece of shi't is not a problem..))
Excuse me?

There is obviously an issue soooo much deeper involved here.

Why are you not capable of sitting down w/your father like a man and telling him exactly how you feel?

Why are you so full of rage?

Why are you an atheist?

((He also said that I will burn in hell. (He he.)))
Is that funny to you?
Have you no soul?

I thought I met a sensitive, tender (yet wounded) heart.

Rethinking my connection to you, Mandi

????????????????????????????????????
Huh? U took me wrong, completely. Reread my response, friend. I was asking u if YOU THINK U R SOULLESS.

I also said though u seemed wounded, you also seemed tender hearted.

A little different twist, eh?

The only thing I didn't feel good about I didn't even mention. That was "eat that sh**." Seemed really disrespectful. Reading statements like that was the only thing that made me ? u...

As far as 'religion'... I CAN'T STAND MAN'S RELIGION!

I believe in GOD and the Bible. I have yet to find a 'religion' that truly shows the love of the GOD in the Bible.

I personally think religion kills man's soul.

But friend, people can and do change. I'm living proof of that. Yet it's an ongoing day to day battle.

Do you understand me better now?
=], Mandi

Answer 9

Well I am a Christian, and I know you don't want to hear some of what I am going to say, but you are the one who opened the question....
My daughter was not a Christian 3 years ago. she had never prayed before. When I found this out, I was upset. At that time I did not go to church every Sunday. only occasionally.... When I found out her views on God and Jesus (she didn't have one) we went to church a lot more, for a little while. Then she met a friend who went to church every Sunday and invited my daughter to go. She did, every Sunday and every Wednesday. She is now a christian, BY HER CHOICE. You can NOT force someone to be a Christian. And yes you are right about the communion.
If you believe the way you do, then you should tell your father that he can not force you to be a christian....

but you must know this, he is scared for you. He believes you will go to hell when you die, and he does not want this for you. He only wants the best for you. You should try to understand his side as well as he respecting your beliefs, or lack of....

Good luck and God Bless you.

Answer 10

He's your dad. He won't accept that you cannot force-feed faith. You either believe it or not. Once you're out of the house, you give it up entirely. Since you're an atheist, there's no problem eating the bread and drinking the wine - consider it a mid-service snack.

But don't dwell too much on it. In his mind this is the worst thing that can happen, you not believing in God. For you, it's just not that important, since God doesn't exist.

Eat the cracker, drink the wine, and go untill the battles stop being intense, then quit.