now iam feeling worried because already we announced my marage around? My main worry is about my parents? They rejected just because i weared western dress. The boy dont have job so i told them if he comes to hyd i will help him to get job. recently we learnt that the boy already got engagement with another girl and after few days they rejected that match saying that the girl character is not good. Now my parents approache caste eleders and taking their help. they given 3 options1. if you want we will bring him& we wil force him to get mary. 2. If you want we will give police complaint 3. If u feel need some compensation that also we will arrange. Iam well educated and working for social sector earning sufficient money. Now i have to take decision. but last few days i am feeling very upset & worried. not eable to concentate on work. the boys mother is not respetble. She always quarells with my parents. My family members & myself came from very remote village. we respect traditions
2006-11-09 20:36:01 · 12 answers · asked by madavi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Bleh! Im glad tht I am an Indian girl AND NOT living in INDIA! Its disgusting how Indian people claim to be so righteous yet squabble over stupid and insignificant things.
Why can't you marry someone you love and who will love you back? Arranged marriages are where the parents just help you out to meet a suitable match. But it looks like all the parents in your so called viillage act like village idiots. If you claim to be educated, go out there and make something of yourself. Dont rely on your or other parents advice. They only seem to be making you more miserable.
2006-11-09 20:44:06 · answer #1 · answered by Taurus 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I come from a similar background. I understand your worries. DO NOT get married to this man- he is trouble and seems to only bring more disaster with him everywhere. His family does not seem right, and perhaps police intervention will at least make this boy and his family realize that they cannot and should not continue doing this. Because you and your family respect tradition, I feel that you and your family should continue consulting with the caste elders and seek a solution that you all are comfortable with. You and your family are the victims here and nothing is your fault or your family's fault.
2006-11-09 21:01:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Madavi, i know many poeple in that situation, obviously i know where you are from and the kind of respect you have for the culture and parents. You cant argue with them or anything, but maybe, just maybe, you can try to tell them that this guys is just a problem, and caste in todays world means nothing. TEll them what you are going to do int he future and how the boy is going to interfere. Look if you let this happend, it sounds like your life is going to go down the drain, becaus either he is going to abuse your money, or be abusive to your. He sounds like a very picky and stupid guy to me (sorry). The only thing that i would say is best is to talk about it, do not do anything else. And the first thing is do not be depressed, beacse the minute you get depressed, you start making bad decisions, and thats one of the main thing for woman in arranged marriage as we know it should not work and all that. So be careful, fight for yourself in a sensible way, and tell your parents that i want to meet this guy a few times, talk to him, see how he acts with you and other people around you, tell them that you do not trust him, and say if he does something stupid, you will be the one who will be single, and it will be your parents who will be upset, so instead of going through all that, try to tell them that its best to think it over, and reject it. Tell them you do not like him, they do not either, and if caste is what they are worries about then this world is not for them, because caste means nothing anymore, my chachi because a multimillionaire from dirt, you can move up. They are older generation, and if you do not sit and explain no one will. TALK TALK TALK. and do not get depressed, o and do not do anything stupid.
2006-11-09 20:45:42 · answer #3 · answered by aplpie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hyderabadi, eh? If so, why worried? It is good this is happening before the wedding than after. Forget about this guy...and tell your parents not to worry. Forcing someone to get married to someone is not a good idea. Police complaint will hurt both parties...protracted litigations. Compensation? Well, I do not know the financial situation of the parties to comment on it but I will just say that it is not worth it.
Let go. Just move on.
2006-11-09 20:42:32 · answer #4 · answered by frivologs 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dont you think it is good that you came to know about this boy and his family before you got married. Look around you will find a better boy. Dont bother to think about this boy any more. Dont make the mistake of approaching the police and seeking compensation. Just get him out of your system and look forward to better life.
2006-11-09 20:44:40 · answer #5 · answered by rams 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
when life gives you thousand of reasons to cry,show that u have one thousand and one reasons to smile...respect your parent's decision in this case. Marriage under traditional system is very different from marriage under the Western culture. In traditional marriages, it is the families of the two spouses that actually come together and not only the spouses. Traditional marriage supports extended families and try to forge united among the two families. It would be unwise to continue in the venture especially since there is no cordiality between the families. My advice is that you should be calm and pray to God to provide you with a more suitable partner. You should not be in a hurry. You are already successful and comfortable. You only need a man for love, companionship and happiness. And where will the happiness be if both families are in crisises
2006-11-09 22:48:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
The heck with tradition! Find a man to love you and one that you love back. Love is the basis for marriage, not some business arrangement!
2006-11-10 10:38:01 · answer #7 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well thanx to god that u r now saved from spoiling ur whole life by not going in to such a family who dosent care for u , and try finding some better guy for u, i am sure u parents will not get deppresed if they realize what i have just said.
2006-11-09 21:56:50 · answer #8 · answered by engr_ehsen 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are in the 21st century lady!!!
What is this rejection ad acceptance? God has given you a brain. Please use it efficiently. If you are rejected by some one who is not respectable, there is no harm.
Start over!! You will find a hunderd eligible guys you can marry.
2006-11-09 20:42:37 · answer #9 · answered by Vas 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sue him for breaking a contract.
2006-11-09 20:43:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋