My bf knows I cheated n my past, not on him. And I have lied to him about some small things, I just did'nt want to hurt him, I knew the things i've lied about would'nt break us up. but 4 instance i would call my babies daddy and get some money 4 baby or call to talk to my baby while he was there and bf would ask me have i talked to him and i would say no cause i did'nt want no drama, even though i new i was'nt talking about anything but the kids, and then he found out about it a few times. i have been faithful to him and want to stay that way,i was young and dumb very much so have grew up alot since then. but everytime we get into an arguement he brings every little big thing up. how can i talk to him about this,what do i say because bringing up his faults just makes us argue even worse
2006-11-09 19:43:27 · 15 answers · asked by me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He will stop bringing up your past when you stop feeling guilty about it. If you expect him to get over his insecurities, then you're going to have to stop telling lies (big or small). Because it is the "lie".. and not what we do that hurts the most. You are doing good by not bringing up his faults, now start working on making sure he has no (reasonable) reason to bring up yours.
Sincerely
2006-11-09 21:24:57 · answer #1 · answered by Tooler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he keeps bringing it up I assume he will continue to do so.
You guys are in a dysfunctional relationship. Either work on it together or move on.
A very helpful book is THE DANCE OF ANGER.
Fair fighting doesn't include bringing up the past. Get some counseling or the drama will continue.
2006-11-09 19:51:19 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweeti..i know its hard but he has 2 understand...that person who you had kids with will always be a part of your life...that person is your kids dad..tell him..if he cant accept it den tell him to leave..cuz i can see your doing the best you can..dont think because you have kids you wont find another who can love you and your kids the same way..
i got back with my ex amonth ago..although she had a son that was not mine..i still loved him as much as her..i didnt mind her hitting the clubs on the weekends or spending alil time with her sons father..but she left me cuz she didnt want me stuck in a relationship where it was just so sticky.Where she still had feelings for her ex..and also a kid that wasnt mine.Boys can be very jellous..he only feels this cuz he cares..but its really up 2 you..i mean if it gets you over the edge..just leave it
you can find someone else.
=)
2006-11-09 19:59:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell you want to start a new clean slate, and if you can't do that the relationshipe is over, just like that. stick to your guns and don't back down. no body had the right to keep bringing up your past. come on and stick up for yourself. You are a very wonderful person don't let this person keep bringing you down.
2006-11-09 20:00:43 · answer #4 · answered by marilee w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds childish, but when he brings up stuff about your past, bring up stuff from his past that he wishes he didn't do. Thats the only way to make him realize that people do stupid things when they were younger and can really grow up and not be the same person that they once were.
2006-11-09 19:47:46 · answer #5 · answered by Lis B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Got to agree with all above. This guy ain`t going to make you happy. He will always be jealous and use his knowledge of your past to hurt and control you. It is difficult but you will have to move on it will only get harder. Good luck you have a great future ahead.
2006-11-09 19:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think you should confront him. like, you have to have trust to each other. and you might as well say to him that he shouldn't keep on talking about your past. past is past. he isn't included in your past. and you aren't to his too. simply, just ask him not to bring up old topics cause they are honestly childish ways. just learn to trust each other. and understanding each other would have make you both better. so wish you all the best. and remember, everyone makes a mistake. we are humans, not perfect.
2006-11-09 19:49:10 · answer #7 · answered by ~desa~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know you already changed, there's no reason why he still has to bring those up again & again. If that's the case, dump him for I'm sure he'll forever use your past against you. Take care.
2006-11-09 19:46:10 · answer #8 · answered by Muffin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the child support division collect child support for you= and you won't have to hit your ex up for money- he needs to be responsible and you need to be honest- and then you won't have to remember what you lied about=-there won't be any lies- earn the trust- and be trustworthy- w/o it - things are difficult- you don't need the crap and neither does he= D
2006-11-09 20:00:09 · answer #9 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He don't trust you this may continue so the best case scenario may be to leave him and find a new guy and start with a clean slate.
2006-11-09 19:46:52 · answer #10 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋