I am 36 weeks pregnant and living with the father of my child...We have been fighting non stop and he has threatened to take our son away from me after he is born. I am far from an unfit mother, I do not drink, do drugs, or even smoke. I have 4 other kids and he says it is because of them that he wants to take our son from me. He says it is because I let them whine and don't discipline them enough...I am a good mother....my kids are always fed, clean, in school and I am always home...the only thing I worry about is that he has more money and I can't get a place of my own since I don't make much..Can the courts take away my baby for that?
2006-11-09 19:13:58 · 25 answers · asked by sweetpradagirl 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Girl, don't even worry. The courts are more apt to help you with your money problem by giving you food stamps or welfare before they would take your child away. They will only take him away if there is some type of neglect or abuse.
2006-11-09 19:18:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
No, he can not, especially if you are breastfeeding. The courts are not too keen on separating a mother from her children in the first place. The fact that you take such good care of your other children will also come into play. Bring up his attitude in court. You are not supposed to beat children, but rather let them grow and develop into the wonderful people they will become. Yes, sometimes they do need a good swat on the bottom, but nothing more. Money won't be the issue, it will be what is in the best interest of the children. My step father had more money than my mother ever had, yet she got custody of me (not from him) and my two siblings who he fathered. He was ordered to pay child support, and she was even able to block him from visiting. The courts usually side with the mother on this.
2006-11-10 08:19:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most places money is not a deciding factor. You shouldn't worry about anything except getting the prick out of your home. He has more money?, good, that means he can pay more child support. Talk to a lawyer and start planning for your custody hearing. He is the father, so he still has the right to be involved. That does not mean he should be a jerk. If he causes problems just let the court know. The bigger jerk he is the less rights he will end up with. Good Luck.
2006-11-10 05:41:16 · answer #3 · answered by me_laub 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It isn't likely he could just get the baby, but you are wise to be a little concerned; because you never know what some manipulative, scheming, person could do to get the courts to doubt you. I don't mean to scare you, but you can't be 100% sure that the courts will be with you.
I think you should find a lawyer who will talk to you for a half hour or so without charging a fee. You may want to consider taking your children and staying with a family member. Then go to your welfare agency and ask what you can do next. You could try your local legal services agency and tell them your situation.
You probably don't need to worry, but you would be wise to take immediate steps to get some outside help before he tries to (really - you don't know what he'll say about you to someone who may at least temporarily believe him and create a situation that puts you at a disadvantage just because of that).
The courts aren't supposed to take children if there is no abuse or neglect, but you don't know that he won't convince the courts (at least temporarily) that there is. They aren't supposed to take children away because of money, but if he ends up with the house or apartment and you don't have one who knows - judges can do crazy things.
Talk to your welfare department and/or a lawyer to start; get some advice from someone who knows how this stuff works. Don't give him the chance to make the first move. As others on here have said, don't put his name as the father
You'll most likely be fine and not need to worry about his getting the baby, but be smart and take some action now. You don't want to be with this character anyway, do you?
2006-11-10 03:40:16 · answer #4 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As long as you have food in there mouth,cloths on there back and thay got shelter then No he cant unless he has proof you are a unfit mother.so dont worrie...he is just talking sh!t to piss you off and get you all depressed and what not.and as long as you got a place to goto then the law can not (more less wont want to) take your child from its mother.just because he has money does not make him a person that the law will be able to take care of a child properly.if i was you....witch would be pretty hard to do sence i am male... i wouldnt worrie about it.you sound like a verry good mom.and if he abuses you! you can use that in court against him.verbal or whatever.the judge will see it *** abuse and thats all that matters.a child seeing the parents fighting can cause alot of damage.and the judge will more less be looking out for the well being of the child.so DO NOT WORRIE.he sound like a peice of sh!t anyway.and when in court just wait for ur turn to talk and NEVER interupt.(only talk when asked a question) it helps the judge take ur side :) .and i have a pretty good feeling if he fights with you and say's he will take your baby then he will more likely inturupt you or the judge witch will piss the judge off and then you get the upper hand.so take it and ***** smack him.
2006-11-10 03:32:00 · answer #5 · answered by applemonkey_187 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
***Layla B...GROW UP...things happen!!! I can't believe you said that to this women.....*****
Courts decide on the best interest of the child...And usually courts side with the mother...Especially with a new born baby...Because we all know..A man can't breast feed. Unless he can prove you unfit...He doesn't have a leg to stand on...even when he makes more money..That's will just mean he will be paying some hefty child support.
There are plenty of agencies out there that will help women find affordable places to live....Start searching and get away from that jerk....There is people out there to help you.
**( Define discipline the enough? Does he expect you to beat the hell outta them when they whine.....??? And you "letting" them whine, must mean that you ignore it..right...Which is what you are SUPPOSED to do.....If you gave them attention all the time for improper behavior..They won't stop doing it...)
This guy you ended up with sounds like a moron and completely CLUELESS when it comes to raising a child.....My advice to you is to go see a lawyer...They can give you the best advice on this!!!
2006-11-10 10:20:18 · answer #6 · answered by Cblack22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He cant take your baby away from you unless he can prove that you are an unfit mother and it is harder than h## to do that. I dont know where you live but in the state where I live and in most other states it is hard for the father to get custody unless the mother gives up her rights to the child or if the father can prove to the courts that you are an unfit mother. You could be an alcholic and they would still not take your children away from you, I know because my father is an alcohlic and my mom tried to have us kids taken away from him but they could not prove him to be unfit just because he drank. The whole reason he had coustdy of me and my brother in the first place and the only reason he ever had custody of us is because my mom gave us up.
2006-11-10 03:26:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
girlfriend don't let him b/s you and fill you with it too since your a good mother it don't matter how much money he has that's just more he will have to pay in child support..men think just because they make such great amounts of money they can threaten a pregnant woman and get there way not true..Don't let him think your going to give in fight back let your family and friends know what he is trying to do to you..If it comes down to it next time he wants a fight turn your back on him if he raises a hand to you have him put in jail( it's against the law for a man or anyone to hit a pregnant woman) and make sure you press charges don't drop it even if he says he is sorry..this will make him look really bad in court especially if he try's to take your child away from you..If nothing contact the nearest woman's shelter and tell them what he is trying to do and see if they will help you file charges for Mental abuse this could hurt him too in court..I wish you the best of Luck and God Bless..Have a Healthy Baby.........P.S. the woman's shelter can help you get on your feet and a safe place for you and your children..If you need to contact the police dept and ask them about a safe haven for you and your children they can help..plz send me your screen name through my e-mail if you have anymore questions OK cuddleybutt4jbonly10@yahoo.com
2006-11-10 03:33:41 · answer #8 · answered by cuddleybutt4jbonly10 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the laws have not changed-he can take the baby and run- since no one has legal custody- and if you have 4 other kids you should be collecting child support for them- this guy sounds like trouble- also there is hud housing you can get into- if he takes the child and runs and lies and files for custody and says you did not want the baby - he might get custody- it can get messy- good reason not to get in a mess like this- take care- and think things out and the consequences of living like this- d
2006-11-10 05:19:40 · answer #9 · answered by Debby B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no way, the only time a child is taken away from the mother is if your child is in danger of being hurt or abused. His threats are useless, you should just tell him to either treat you with respect and stop the threats because there is no way that he would get custody even if you weren't the best mother. With 4 kids it must be hard enough, you dont need his **** as well!! If you need any support feel free to email me at: sarahlovespowderfinger@yahoo.com.au anytime and i wish you all the best.
2006-11-10 04:17:28 · answer #10 · answered by Sarah C 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Now that you have read all of the blithering of others, I will give you the facts. AT THIS POINT...
Fact...No, he can not legally take your child. No, he can not have joint custody. He has absolutely no ties to the baby at all.
Fact...Yes, he can take your child illegally. Thinking that he has a right to the child can cause him to take it illegally. He can get desperate and run.
Fact...the child will have to assume your last name. The certificate will show your last name. If his last name is put on the certificate, the document is no longer valid. It becomes worthless. Many have lied, and all such documents are VOID.
FACT...He can court order a P-Test. It takes TIME. IT takes MONEY. All he will prove is that he owes you child support!
If he is threatening you now, you should seek legal help, before the baby is born. Kick this man to the curb, take out a restraining order. If you have to lie or say that he has assaulted you, then do so!!!! If he tries to take your child, then you put one right between his eyes!
2006-11-14 02:27:20 · answer #11 · answered by capellafella2 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋