The idea of possibly breaking up with my bf of almost 5 years. i started dating him in high school and I never had to deal with dating other guys n' stuff. I am still in love with him....i am also dependent on him since he's always been there....and i'm trying to work on doing things for myself.....But the idea of breaking may be a reality for me, and I dunno what i should do....I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone...How do i get myself back out there? I'm shy....help
I love him...and i don't want to let go....
2006-11-09 18:53:48 · 13 answers · asked by asiantomato84 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he feels that almost 5 years of being with someone is enough....in other words....Should I just move on, or should i hang in there and just give him his space?
2006-11-09 18:59:56 · update #1
It's time to get away from your small town and move to the big city (or not so big, but away) to start your life, on your own, toward the direction you want to go, following your passions, with no one to hold you back. Your dependence does not a relationship make. Unless the two of you are planning marriage, and you're thinking of settling down and having some babies and a family while he works at his career, and that's your goal for your life, then you are wasting your time. Unless you're ready for that, there's no reason you need to be in any sort of committed relationship. You should be free to date whoever you want, everyone, or no one and it doesn't matter what people think of you, only what you want out of your life. So get out there and make it your best.
Step 1: Define your goals
Step 2: Pick a place where you can make that dream come true
Step 3: Visit there, find a place to live, apply for some jobs, get a job, and
Step 4: Move there.
2006-11-09 19:15:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't broken up yet. After a five-year relationship, you should take some time off to find yourself before you "get [your]self back out there". You sound like someone who believes she has to be involved with someone all the time, as you say, dependent.
If you want a break from the relationship, tell him so and let him go. It's better to do it now rather than later. A relationship needs to be made up of two fully functioning adults who are together because they enhance each other's lives, not to avoid being alone.
Being on your own doesn't necessarily mean being lonely.
2006-11-10 03:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by KIT J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well lets start with this.
"I love him...and I don't want to let go..."
Yet you are considering breaking up is an option. Look, one of my best friends ever is my girlfriend rite now. I've dated her for 2 years since high school. If anything, I know I can't continue on with her because life is about experiencing, and wanting to see what else is out there. I'm not sure if you feel this same way, but just the fact that you are considering means that are possible searching for something more out there. What I suggest you do is just do it when it comes to it, breaking up I mean. If you feel its necessary now, then by all means gather up the strength and go for it. If you think its just a "possibilty" then wait till you are sure this is soemthing you want to do. Remember that we're human and we are allowed to feel. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-11-10 03:03:48 · answer #3 · answered by xyz00192 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I happen to have read your other post.
Looks like he wants to get a taste of life 'out there'.
And it's understandable. Coz he's only 21.
A guy wouldn't want to settle down for a girl like that.
He might want to see what's awaiting him after you.
So...let go...if he truly loves you, he'll come back.
Who knows, maybe you'll find your perfect match after him.
How do you get back out there? It's tough at the beginning, but people will get used to that and forget about it very soon. Get yourself busy and live a better life sans lui.
Good luck.
2006-11-13 01:03:29 · answer #4 · answered by jibejibe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, it's easy to think that the grass is greener on the other side.
If you are still in love, why the need to break up?
If there is a reason you think is valid, then go for it and don't look back.
2006-11-10 02:58:10 · answer #5 · answered by lonhro2004doc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am was in the same position as you.I think its best to just think this one through,u have been dating for a while and you should be the one to decide if you want to break up or make up.....keep in mind that making a mistake is ok,making a mistake twice is stupid.
2006-11-10 03:11:57 · answer #6 · answered by babes28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey girl,
Seems like alot of people misinterpreted your question. Anyways, your boy is thinking of calling it quits and the only thing you could do (and at most times in life)... is to take the BIG leap and be strong.
-chilledguy27
2006-11-10 03:12:32 · answer #7 · answered by chilledguy27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had my sweet 16 for almost a year...we were both in love but we broke it up because we felt that it waz just time for us to see if there can be anyone suitable for us... we had no problem , no fights, no reason at all to break up...so i did it.... i found that i could love others in their own way....but he will alwayz be the one for me.... it's just life...so go ahead give it a try... u be finee.... u got nothing to lose.....just experience to gain.
2006-11-10 03:15:28 · answer #8 · answered by liyana s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
but y this question of leaving him?? u didnt mention anythg if he wanna leave u now...& the reason.so how can we give u suggesion?
2006-11-10 02:58:39 · answer #9 · answered by shweta - 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what gives u idea of breakin up with him? u can be as independent as u wish w/o dumping him.
2006-11-10 02:57:53 · answer #10 · answered by pit_bulldog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋