OK so I have a problem with my boyfriend not telling me things. We live together. All i ask is that he tell me if hes gonna be late home or is he going. (just so i don't worry) but he says that he should have to answer to me. but the ting is i don't care is he does go out it would just be nice to know!
2006-11-09 18:10:42 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ps the thing is tho he dosn't tell me anless i ask
2006-11-09 18:15:08 · update #1
I don't see anything wrong with that. When my husband was alive I always asked him if he was going to be home late or to call or something if he was going to be late, so I am not worrying that he was in a car accident or something else bad may have happened! I don't think that made me controling or anything. If you are, I guess I am too. *sigh*
2006-11-09 18:14:41 · answer #1 · answered by Hot Mom 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it's a "control" issue. Even friends that live together, or like me and my sister-in-law, if one is going somewhere they tell the other. People worry about each other. Time passes you don't know when they left or when you should expect them, you get anxious. It's just courtesy! And I need to comply better myself.
2006-11-10 02:16:21 · answer #2 · answered by Faerie loue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is being inconsiderate. Sit down and tell him that you feel you deserve respect. Tell him you have no desire to run his life but that it is just courtesy to tell you if he will be home late or has plans to go somewhere. If he isn't willing to do this- and I doubt he will- end the relationship.
Besides why is he going out all the time anyway? There are plenty of fish in the sea. Lose him.
2006-11-10 02:15:51 · answer #3 · answered by peggy j 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's called respect, and he obviously doesn't have any for you. I thought boyfriend/girlfriend did things together, and if you're living together, I should think you've talked about the future.
If he's got so little regard for you now, what do you think the future would be like.
It's not a matter of controlling. He probably wouldn't be so understanding if you were to do the same thing to him.
His behavior is boorish and immature.
2006-11-10 02:18:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only way he will appreciate how you feel is if he feels it himself. Like, if you go out sometime and say you'll call and you don't. Seriously... that's how I learned my lesson. I used to be really bad about calling before someone did it to me and I was worried sick. Allow him to call you repetitively, frantically worried about where you are. When you return and he is upset that you didn't call, make sure to be really calm and say, "I apologize for making you worry... I just felt that it was the only way that you would understand what I go through with you and why I ask you to call me. I am not trying to be controlling, it is just that I love and care about you and so I'd like to know that you are okay at all times". He might get mad. Just make sure not to take a self-righteous stance... don't say "see! Told you!" or anything obnoxious like that. Just explain it calmly and make sure to apologize.
2006-11-10 02:16:14 · answer #5 · answered by Stephanie S 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I live with my boyfriend and I don't ask him where he's going, and I don't worry about him unless I get a call letting me know he's been hurt. He is a grown man, he can take care of himself. I don't tell him where I am going, I'm a grown woman, I can take care of myself. I'm not a china doll and neither is he.
Sounds like you don't trust him.
2006-11-10 02:26:36 · answer #6 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reason for this is that he is the man and can do that. You trying to find out his where a bout on the cool is the gateway to controlling the man and perhaps he is not giving you this opportunity.
2006-11-10 02:19:34 · answer #7 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being a pig. One hand he wants to live with you and enjoy the comforts that come with it and the other he wants no obligation to have some decency, letting you know where he is. Can you imagine marrying someone like him? It'll end in a divorce for sure.
2006-11-10 02:15:02 · answer #8 · answered by Craiova 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is a basic courtesy to your partner but if your not married you really have no say. So dint live w/your mate till then if you have a problem with this.
2006-11-10 02:16:56 · answer #9 · answered by JodiBaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not controlling. Its his responsibility since you live together.
2006-11-10 02:13:23 · answer #10 · answered by Claude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋