What's the best way to include a child in a wedding ceremony?

Question

Anyone have any advice on including a kid in a wedding ceremony? I'm getting married in about 3 weeks, and we have everything lined up, except we'd like to include my 4-year-old son in the wedding in some meaningful way. He loves my fiance, they spend tons of time together and he's already trying out calling him Dad. He's helped with the shopping and wedding planning and is crazy about "all of us" getting married into our new family. So what's the best way to include him in the vows or some other part? Anyone have experience with this? There's no biological father in the picture or other kids to consider, so it's not the exact same thing as blended-family weddings, which I've seen a little advice on. Also, does anyone know of rings for kids for such an occasion? I saw Family Medallions but he doesn't like necklaces and wants a ring.

Answer 1

My cousin was in your same situation. What she did:

Her son stood next to the groom, dressed exactly like him.
They wrote their own vows and then wrote vows to her son.
She read hers to her son and then the groom read his.
He got down on his knees to be eye level with him and told him that he promised to be the best daddy in the world and to always make him proud of him, to protect him, cherish him., and just all sorts of words from the heart. Then he ended by telling the little guy how much he loved his mommy, but mostly how much he loved him and how proud he was to become his daddy. Then he brought out a ring and asked the son.....will you be my son for the rest of our lives? The little guy started bawling and so did everyone else in the church.

They gave him a thin wedding band. Not expensive because of him growing. There is nothing wrong with your son wanting a ring. Call your rings "family rings" instead of wedding rings. They had the inside of the ring engraved.

Please do not make him be your ring bearer. He is far more important than that.

Answer 2

I perform a lot of weddings with children included. One of the most beautiful ceremonies is called the sand ceremony. The bride has white sand, groom has tan sand, and the children get to pick their own sand. Yes it does become sand art. But the child gets to make a choice, and that is very important. The whole part of the ceremony, is that once the sand is combined the grains can never be separated again, the same for your new family. The best part is, you can display the vase of sand in the livingroom to look at and remember such a wonderful occassion. Please feel free to visit my website where I have some sample ceremonies.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

CONGRADULATIONS !!! Well ring bearer is one option is purchase little rings for your son nothing to expensive, but a nice one. Then have the Husband put the rings on you and say his part. Then you, your husband, and your son can come up with a vow aka promise then give him a ring on his finger
I have seen this before and the vows were something like I will protect you and provide for you (from the parents) and I will obey you and respect you (from the kids)

just a thought. Let me know how it works out.

Answer 4

Don't mean to insult your son but don't put him in the wedding. Especially in a significant roll. Odds are he'll choke at the ceremony and bugger things up.

My niece (4) was tflower girl at my wedding. So excited, new dress, new shoes, I'm so pretty, social butterfly, etc. yet when it came time for her to do her duty - "I DON"T WANT TO", tears flowing, then a grumpy face and pouts throughout the whole wedding.

If you insist on having him in the ceremony make sure you have someone he trusts nearby the aisle in the back so they can yank him out of the way if he refuses to do his job.

Good luck on your new life.

Answer 5

okay, you could go to a jewelry store and explain the situation and see if they can make a ring for your son, then during the vows part you and your fiance could have your son come up and all three of your vows be together, you could even write your own vowes if you wish and your son could too. Talk to your minister or whomever doing the service for more suggestions.

Answer 6

The best way to do it is have a special ceremony after you are pronounced husband and wive...have your son walk up to you and your husband and present him with something, a locket or a special charm on a necklace. Then when you are done, he can walk down the aisle with you both...it will make a great picture for your husband to be holding your son on his left side and holding your hand with his right.

Answer 7

If you have a flower girl already keep her but let him be a ring bearer.
It will be really cute and he will have a way to be included and close by the two of you as you are getting married.

Answer 8

They make rings for kids but he'll outgrow it in a year. My mom remarried when we were little. I was the flower girl and my brother the ring-bearer. My mom had a special doll made for me with a dress that matched mine. At the reception we had a special kid table next to the head table. There were coloring books, games, kid food and we got to sit with all of our other little friends. Honestly, I was 6 and don't remember much of the day. Don't kill yourself to make memories for him that he might not even remember. Its not the day that really matters...its what kind of family you become.

Answer 9

I would make him the pageboy/ ring bearer. Tell him he has a very important job, to make sure mummy and "daddy"s rings are safe and to carry them up the aisle on a little cushion

Maybe even let him make a little speech if he's capable of doing it.

Answer 10

I would suggest the Sand Ceremony. Don't include your child in your vows. You aren't marrying your son, and your husband isn't marrying him either.