HELP!!! My friend's new boyfriend is a complete idiot- if you ask me...?

Question

okay guys and girls, my best friend just got a new boyfriend recently. The problem is, he's one of those pathetic, love-sick idiots who just gets all "I'm so into you" with any girl he meets. I love my best friend to bits and we're extremely close, but how can i tell her that her boyfriend is an idiot without hurting her feelings. More importatnly, how do i deal with him in social situations when i totally hate his guts? Serious answers would really be appreciated

I forgot to mention this, but he's already dated a lot of other girls that i have met before, and he always plays them the same way. I want to protect her, but i don't want to damage our relationship. As for the first loser who answered this question, clearly you are a complete idiot. Loser

Answer 1

First of all, be honest with her. Let her know that while you love her and support her being with someone, you don't think he's the right guy for her.

If she is one of those independent types, point out that he's a clinger. If she really likes the whole "I'm so into you" thing, ask her to take a look at that. Have her ask him "Why?" If he's got legitimate reasons and seems to be able to back them up, then you have to live with it.

In living with it, you simply have to let her know that you'll limit your time with her when he's around. I have to do this with my best friend, but for other reasons - his girlfriends get jealous of the time he spends with me. But it works. In the end, he sees that I'm the one who is constant and not "stuck on him" to the point where he can't be himself.

Sometimes it's hard, especially if the relationship goes long term. As long as you are honest and let your friend know that you can't spend time with her and her new boyfriend, she'll come to understand. Maybe you'd should set up "girl's only" nights out or some such thing where it's just the two of you. If she's truly your friend, she'll do it. If not, unfortunately, you'll fall by the wayside until this putz walks away.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I'm not fully understanding how he's being an idiot... is he just acting really lovesick toward your friend? That might be something that appeals to her but is something you obviously find unappealing. If I were you I would gently ask a probing question about how your friend feels about her boyfriend's behavior. If she gives you an opening then in a kind way say that you have an issue with his behavior/attitude (whatever the issue is basically). Then go on to say how you feel.

However, keep in mind that saying nothing might be the best thing to do. She might be more into this guy than you realize and might be greatly offended that you don't like him. Sometimes just not saying anything is the best way to go. She might tire of him pretty soon anyway.

Answer 3

It mostly depends on ur friend. Is she like that with him? the all im into you and such...b/c if she is then your better off not tellin her anything b/c she will more than likely not listen to you. Best thing to do is jus't deal with it and be there for your friend. Telling her u dont like him and such won't do any good if she is into him. So out of respect for your friend, jus't deal with it. As far as social situations, take along someone else so you will have someone else to talk to as well so u wont be annoyed by her bf lol

Answer 4

Sometimes we know what is happening and what is going to happen and still we are not able to prevent it cos it is not in our hands. But we can try our best to save that person from the dangers associated with his decision by suggesting him/her the right thing to do logically. I think u better tell ur friend that the situtation she is in will lead her to what by taking a real life(madeup) example of on eof ur friends who was in asimilar situation and the consequences for that.
After that I think it is her decision whether she wants to go with her BF or not.

Answer 5

ok well if u ask me then i say that its up to u.cause ur best friend likes this guy but u dont wanna hurt her feelings telling her he's a idiot but if u care about her then u should stop her from getting herinto problems or bad things that could happen like break up or sad moments. its really up to u and either way she might get hurt depending

Answer 6

Well you think he is a complete idiot we have established that, but has your friend asked for your opinion? If not then you might want to keep it to yourself as she obviously doesn't feel the same and may turn on you if you go bad mouthing him. You just got to grit through it, she is dating him not you so that should help. In short and as bluntly put as possible, mind your own business.
-NmD!

Answer 7

Okay this is a hard one!!! i have been in your situation before and it totally sux. this is what i told my friend........"I really love you and thats why im telling you this.....your boyfriend is a love sick fool and i have seen him with othor girls and he just uses them and plays the same game with them as he is playing with you. he will brake your heart!!!" then i said "now onto othor subjects i just really wanted you to know that as a friend but now that i have told you how i feel i will put up with him and not say anything else to you about it!!!"
well i hope this helps!!!

Answer 8

well that's the thing in order to protect those you love you've gotta be willing to tell them something they might not wanna hear. I think you should just try and talk to her in a nice way and just show your concern. If she is your friend even if she doesn't like what you think, she'll forgive you eventually if she truely is your friend.

Answer 9

Tell your friend how you feel about the guy but do it nicely: sit her down in private and tell her you have a bad feeling about him and you're afraid of getting her heart broken, also tell her you're not doing it to ruin her love life but to protect her.

Answer 10

if u two are best friends then u should be able to just say hey, i love ya but i just want to let u kno this is how i feel about u new boyfriend. discuss it with her but try to be a little gentle if shes really into him, but let her know what u think!!