Please help me.?

Question

I was a single parent for 10 years and have always been very independent. 6 yrs ago my father passed away and I started to have panic attacks. The doctor perscribed Paxil and since I I have gained over 60 lbs. Now I take 50 mg of Zoloft. I remarried three years ago and started working from home. I am not sure what is wrong with me, but i hate leaving the house. I desperately want and need another job. I send out many resumes and when I get the calls for interviews I will schedule them, but can not get myself to go. Or sometimes I will go and when offered the job, I can not get myself to start it. I hate myself and feel so fat and ugly. I am afraid if I go back to the doctor, he will increase my medication and I do not want that. I can't stand to gain anymore weight and I hate feeling medicated all the time. Please help me, I am only 35 years old and so confused all the time. I can never carry anything out and always change my mind. I want my life back. Please help me.

Answer 1

When you were a single parent and then lost your father, well, there went a huge part of your support system, didn't it? It's not surprising then that you would have a strong emotional reaction and hence feel very anxious and insecure. Hence the indecisiveness also.

That's all perfectly understandable, sweetie!

So my first suggestion is to accept that fact and by doing so, accept yourself. Don't beat yourself up about something normal. Spend some time meditating on this so it sinks in. And use affirmations as already suggested to reinforce it.

The second goal should be to get off the meds. These are brain altering chemicals as you're well aware. I think it's criminal that doctors prescribe them so readily without also laying out a plan to treat the cause. How can we return to a normal functioning state when we're messing with our brain chemistry in an unnatural way.

There are natural ways to elevate mood and reduce anxiety. The really good news is that they'll also help you achieve your weight loss goal! Isn't that great? Say, "heck ya!" :)

Here's what I would do:

1. Make sure you get 8 hours of sleep per night. This means a dark room, quiet, NO TV and with a good sleep system for support and temperature control (but NOT via electric blankets).

2. Drink enough water for your bodyweight every day. 8 glasses a day is a pretty good guideline.

3. Breathe! Deep breathing is healthy and relaxing. If you have access to a forested area or a stream or waterfall, that's an excellent environment naturally loaded with negative ions in the air which have been proven to improve mood (by affecting serotonin... much like Prozac but totally natural and with no bad effects!). You can get air systems that produce negative ions but there's only one that I know of that doesn't produce harmful ozone as a by-product so buyer beware, k?

4. Pray. God is the almighty Father! Go to church weekly at least and read daily from your Bible. Get to know the New Testament, especially the gospels and the Sermon on the Mount. There's great wisdom there. It's God's love letter to You.

5. Exercise! Take a brisk walk everyday with a friend, your hubby, your kids. Get a dog if you need to (just make sure it's a low maintenance dog, not like a dalmation). This is great for reducing stress, improving mood, and increasing your self-esteem.

6. A warm pet, especially if you're a cat or dog lover, can add joy to the house with their antics. I prefer cats because they're low maintenance, clean, and there's something very satisfying about petting a purring kitty.

7. Eat right. Our diet has a huge effect on our energy levels which affects our mood. Get rid of sodas, sweets and white bread. Instead, focus on fresh fruit and vegetables. Avoid processed foods and go for the real stuff. Your body and brain don't function well if you're lacking vital nutrients. Investing in a GOOD whole foods-based supplement can be very helpful.

8. Go after that job again or find some other activity to do outside the house. The change of scenery will do wonders for your outlook and keep you out of a rut. Do something you find rewarding like volunteering for a worthy organization.

9. Realize that we are our own worst critics. The people around us are too busy with their own lives an worries to spend much time thinking about us. We'd do well to remember that. So give yourself a break. :)

All of this positive activity will help pull you out of your rut. You'll meet nice people, your clothes will start to feel looser, and you'll start to feel better about yourself.

Print this out and read it often. Maybe use it as your Bible bookmark so you see it at least once a day. :)

And if you want any specific suggestions for supplements or the air system or how to get good sleep, you're welcome to contact me via e-mail.

All the best and God bless!

Robert

Answer 2

It's interesting to hear you relate your story. I was in my mid 30's when I went to a doctor feeling low and tired and was starting to have panic attacks with heart symptoms. I was prescribed a very powerful tranquilizer. At the time, I was seeing a psychiatrist who, when I told him this, told me to throw out the prescription. He had me work with Prozac for a month and being a neuropsychobiologist as well, he had me use the medication (very low dose) to learn from the medication to help change behaviors. He was really helpful and didn't believe antidepressants were to be used forever and that cognitive therapy (talking) was not the be-all, end-all. At that point, I started exploring some other alternative stuff to clear the emotional traumas that led to the panic attacks and other emotional issues. It helped so much.
Don't stop your meds, but perhaps you can see a naturopathic physician or look for a psychiatrist or psychologist that blends other therapies like hypnosis or NLP (neuro linguistic programming) and uses the medications to retrain the brain's pathway (rewire new emotional responses).
One thing you can do that sounds counter intuitive, is to make yourself say affirmations. Instead of focusing on that you feel fat and ugly, say that you are loving and beautiful (even if you don't believe it). Don't give up hope because how you are now and how you feel now is temporary--you can break out of patterns you don't like and you are so young. Are you seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist for the medications or your family doctor? The family doctors sometimes give higher doses of these medications and the psych docs understand the uses and doses of the medications so much better.
You are a valuable person who feels afraid and has a lot of bad opinions of yourself. Do you have friends or clergy who can help? Hang in there!!! You are NOT alone!!!! Check out this website below that has been powerfully helpful for me:

Answer 3

My daughter suffers with panic attacks and is 34 with 4 boys. Her first son is autistic and has been a huge responsibility. She has been married for 5 years now to a wonderfu man that understands about her panic attacks. She was also put on Paxil and gained a large amount of weight...so she has tried many different medications. She also is bi-polar. I will be honest with you and say I don't always understand why or what causes my daughters panic attacks and at times get upset that I can't make the feelings just go away or stop. Please don't give up..you are worth it...contact your doctor again and let them know exactly how you are feeling as well as not wanting to leave your home. My daughter sometimes will not answer her phone for days because she just doesn't want to deal with anyone or anything. She sees a phycologist on a regular basis and that has helped her alot. I will keep you in my prayers...God Bless and good luck.

Answer 4

I had similar issues and my doc switched me to Cymbalta and it was a dramatic change. I also didn't have the weight gain, or self loathing that I had on other meds. Talk to your doc and explain your reluctance to try more medications and see if he has alternative advice. I am 37 and I know it sucks to feel like your life is over because you don't want to leave the house. My problem was my feelings about myself feeling ugly, and getting gray hair didn't help : ] Once I went to the salon and changed my hair and started dressing better I feel better about myself and I know the new medication helped too. Good luck.

Answer 5

There are other meds besides paxil for social anxiety and agoraphobia. Also, you need cognitive therapy by a psychologist with a phd. This needs to be treated at all angles. There is a book called "The anxiety and phobia workbook" by Dr. Bourne; you might find this helpful; it is sort of the gold standard in psychology but truly your best bet is a sorting of the meds and a psychologist if you TRULY want to nip this thing.

Answer 6

It sounds to me like your panic attacks and depression are caused by the emotional trauma of losing your father, and other factors of your personal environment. Antidepressants are intended to treat chemical imbalances, not emotional problems. I suggest you see a counselor or join a support group instead of seeing a doctor for another prescription. You need emotional healing, not medication. Paxil and Zoloft are notorious for causing weight gain, which is only adding to your emotional stress. Taking antidepressants when they are not needed can actually CAUSE problems that were not there before, and to the extent of suicidal thoughts. I have never understood why doctors continue to prescribe them for YEARS even when there is no patient improvement, or why patients continue to subject themselves to a treatment that obviously is not working for them.

Answer 7

I believe that you have a condition known as Agoraphobia-

" fear of the Marketplace". it is a not too uncommon Panic diorder treated with medication and psychotherapy. There may even be a support group. However expect to be small since most people don't want to go out to one.. No seriously-- is your husband supportive? There are pysch meds that wont increase your wt
(Topamax) . I wish you the best of luck

Answer 8

Please go back to your doctor and have him prescribe efflexor. This has made a big difference in my life. I took was on the other meds and did not like the results. Been there and done it and now I feel alot better. Good Luck and Good Health

Answer 9

I don't know the name of it, but there is a term for the fear of leaving the house. Maybe you should see a psychiatrist, who can help you work out your fears as well as prescribe medication that may work better for you at a lower dosage.

Answer 10

sounds like your on the wrong medication. you need to talk to your doctor and tell him whats going on and tell him you gaining wait and dont want to leave your home and stuff. other than that it sounds like you have a social disorder where you dont want to go out in public and stuff like that. i know its hard but for that part you have to tell yourself positive things about yourself and take it slow. good luck hun.