Can you suggest how I can deal with my anger without having to tell a theripist, etc?

Question

where it will go into my records? Ohhhh! I am so angry and I have a temper. I see a therapist but I am afraid to tell her these things because I'm afraid that it will somehow got back to my ex's attorney because he could sobpoena the records.

It's really a catch-22 situation and I want to get out of it. It started with a bad romance that went really bad. I lost my baby to him over depression. The welfare of the baby came first. Now, I just got my own apartment and I am working with a transitional employment program.

Maybe there is a book I can buy on anger management or a chat room or webiste, Yahoo group, etc.

Any suggestions?

Answer 1

I used to get in trouble because of my bad temper. I thought that being angry and acting that way I could fix the world... but one day I decided to go to a meditation class (which I didn´t know what it was going to be like, but it actually was a tibetan Buddhism class, with meditation, of course) which, by chance, was about "anger"... it just crumbled my old way of thinking about anger, with logical reasonings no one exposed to me before. Since then I gradually stopped being angry, because now I know what´s involved with it: it´s effects, dangers, inconveniences.... In a few words I can tell you: there´s nothing good about getting angry, not a single real reason. It should be avoided always. But don´t take my word for it, check it out for yourself.
Here´s a link where you could get some information about what i´m telling you.
www.kadampa.com

Answer 2

Don't be afraid to openly admit all your anger problems. Dr.Phil is right when he says, "You can't cure anything you dont ADMIT " Divest yourself of it, and it is no longer a part of you, you've purged yourself of it. Treat it like Alcoholics Anonymous treat drinking. There is a class on the subject of Anger at some of the Mental Health clinics. You may have to distance yourself from anyone who might be in danger from you. Guard against losing your temper around the time of a full moon. The world is full of human beings not only that are obviously visible, but more who died and are not visible to most people although your dog will see them and bark. Some of them are drawn to anger and will contribute to it and make it worse if allowed to do so. You don't need this. Pray and strengthen your will power. If you make yourself strong, magnanimous, helpful and impervious to their influence you win that game and they will leave you alone and go bother a weaker person.Practice self control. Practice self discipline. Be a protector to the very ones you might ever wish to harm. Deserve protection and you attract it. Don't be afraid to own it and discuss it, then put it behind you, and go on.
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Answer 3

Ask your therapist about that. The therapist may not keep that detailed a record. Tell him your concerns, and then see if you want to tell him about it.

Otherwise, try to channel oyur anger in a positive direction (damn, I'm getting good at psychobabble-scary...). What worked for me was to use all that energy for something positive in my life - my workout, my music (I play guitar), etc. I'm working on some songs I wrote a long time ago, and my goal is to make a studio qaulity demo. It sure beats sitting around being mad at all the b*itches in my life.

Love Jack

Answer 4

i know how that is i had/have some anger issues too. what has kept me from goin nuts and commiting small scale genocide or demolishing a house when someone pisses me off is i got a hobbie. I found something i like to do to take my mind off of the anger. I like to play videogames it has been my theropy i also like to play my guitar (although poorly). take up drawing or painting when you feel like your begenning to get mad just whip out your pencil or your paint and draw. i know some people who that has helped. its hard but you can learn to controll yourself. and if your violent then maybe you might want to try working out. i know lifting weights relieves stress and calms me down somewhat too. instead of hitting sh!t i put my muscles to use making them bigger and making myself a lil better lookin and healthier. lifting does the same as hitting stuff but uses that extra energy fromt he adrenolin rush and puts it in a positive direction. if lifting sounds like ti would help you but you dont have the money or room to invest in a weight set dont worry. if you have maybe an old backpack sitting around fill it with dictionays and heavy books or something and just lift that over and over. another good one is to lighten the backpack a lil bit but still keep books or w/e in ti and do some pushups. im glad that you are worried about your anger affecting the baby and i know how lame theropists are. glad you atleast looked for help with your problem better than i could do at first. good luck with your anger managment and i hope everything works out for the best

Answer 5

Well, is there something you really love to do? If you have time, do it. If you tend to be violent, try yoga (to relax) or kickboxing (To just beat something up). I tend to be more agressive, so I break stuff. Which is not good. But it helps.

Therpy isn't that bad. And it dosen't mark you as a emotional freak either. But you can often fix your own problems with a little bit of optimisum and creativity. Just try. You'll be okay.

Answer 6

There are books on anger management but most of them only talk about some of the factors dealing with anger. I used to work as a R.N. on a psychiatric unit for many years and my wife divorced me 3 years ago so I can imagine where you're coming from.

Your past bad romance and losing your baby are such traumatic events that I can imagine that you have a lot of suppressed rage and that that is at least one of the factors that cause your anger problem. Your divorce has certainly added a lot of suppressed anger to the rage that is already there.

One of the things that happens with all of this anger that you're holding under the surface is that it takes a tremendous amount of energy to try to keep it hidden. Any time that the least little thing happens, some of this anger that you are holding inside you comes pouring out.

I can't imagine that you can resolve all the anger you are holding under the surface without talking to a good therapist. There are so many things to look at in your childhood and how you deal with things that may have to be taken into consideration.

If your X has not subpoened your records already, how would he know to subpoena them after you tell your therapist new things?

There is a self help book on anger that I can recommend, The title is, "From Anger To Forgiveness" by Earnie Larsen. It was published by the Hazelden Recovery Center.

Forgiveness is the key. Forgiving the other people connected with those traumatic events in the past and present is part of the answer as well as forgiving yourself for the part you played. Then there is healing the memories you have and changing any unproductive ways that you have of dealing with things to more productive and effective ways.

Another thing to think about is that a judge might see that you talking with your therapist about your issues is a muture and responsible thing and a plus instead of a minus.

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with these issues. I have had to deal with some similar issues and know how painful it is to have so much anger inside. You seem like a good person who may have made some mistakes but is trying to do better.

If you believe in God please ask Him to help you if you haven't already. I can't tell you how much it helps to know that God loves me and is active in your my life, helping me when I don't know what to do. Of course I am no one special, so that God loves you as much as He loves us all.

We don't know why we have to deal with such difficult and painful things in our life. I believe that God has a good purpose for everything. Of course some of my problems I caused myself by thinking that I knew more than Him.

One thing I know is that If I didn't have so much pain and so many problems in my life, and had to solve them, I would never have learned how to help others who have similar problems. Maybe the same is true for you.

The other thing that having troubles has done for me is to help me be less judgemental towards others. I was furious with my mother for the mistakes she made in her life that caused me serious problems, until I was an adult and made similar mistakes.

My heart goes out to you. If you ever want to talk about anything, you can E-mail me at [e-mail].

Answer 7

you can only control it by strong willingness...whenever you have a anger attack take a big deep breath sit on the sofa and than image of a place where there is no one there is peace everywhere snow is falling everywhere and than count upto 10..when you will do that your anger will be a lil in control...other thing is whenever feel angry write the words which come into your mind on a peace of paper including bad words in this way your anger will be left out on a piece of paper instead on your pals...also take a walk in the park in early morning and keep a strong willingness to control your anger..

Answer 8

1. BATTLEFIELD OF THE MIND book by Joyce Meyers
It is all in your head!!!! read this! I am reading it now for the SAME PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Watch Joel Osteen on TBN

Your life will begin to change before your eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you ready?

Answer 9

Join a chat help group or something. or SCREAM.. that seems to work. If all else fails go and see a theapist.. its better than losing your health.

Answer 10

take up kick-boxing or some form of Martial arts (teaches balance and control)