What should I do if my girlfriend likes to smoke pot and get wicked drunk...and I am the complete opposite???

Question

I have been with my girlfriend for 8 months now. She likes to get a little crazy and get really drunk sometimes. When she drinks...she drinks a lot. She also likes to smoke pot which is the biggest thing that bothers me. I got her to stop doing it before when everything between us was great and nothing could be better, but then we took a break and she started doing it again and she currently still does it. She lives a few towns over from me and I know that even if she told me she wouldnt smoke anymore, how would i know she really stopped. I only get to see her on weekends and I know that she could easily hide stuff from me. She is always saying how she doesnt ever want to lose me, or hurt me, and i know that could stop her from being upfront about stuff. I love her to death and people always say its not gonna last but we have proved them wrong for 8 months now. I just dont want to be with someone thats going to wreck their life like that though. What should i do?????

Answer 1

I hate to say this, but you probably just need to move on if she doesnt stop. I know that is harsh...alot of people think that smoking a little pot is ok...I thought that when I married my son's father...it was just a little pot...then alot of pot, then pot all the time..plus drinking a little, then more over the years...he also started doing harder drugs...and that lasted until he died...It is very hard to see someone destroy themselves like that...but I watched a small habit turn into a big deadly habit....I hope you can help her, but if not...decide now how you can handle what may end up being a big problem (or worse) later.

Answer 2

personally, I think you can do better. People only drink and smoke like that if they are sad, depressed or have low self esteem and if she can't be happy with just you then she can't be happy at all.
You sound like a nice guy and I rather think a non-smoking non-drinking women would be more than happy to have you.
If this is not the answer your seeking then you need to talk to her about how her smoking and drinking makes you feel and how your worried about HER. Don't press her to admit she's still smoking.
Use what I said before about not being happy with just you to explain that she doesn't NEED alcohol and maybe weed to make her feel better or have fun.
GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

DO NOT propose to this woman. Heck, break up with her. You don't really want a pothead for a wife or girlfriend do you? My husband went through the same thing with his ex wife. When they were dating she only smoked "maybe a couple of times a month". As soon as they were married and she moved in to his home she quit her job and smoked pot every day all day. After five years of putting up with her refusing to work and not being able to pass a drug test for work, putting him into the poor house because pot was more important than things like utilities and food, he finally divorced her.

Answer 4

You should end the relationship and let her know your reasoning behind it. You can tell her that you do care for her but you can't be in a relationship with someone who is ruining their life. Try to encourage her to stop these bad habits. If she knows that she can have you whether or not she is doing pot and drinking, she won't give it up most likely. Maybe you can get back together once she is clean.

Answer 5

You guys are a mismatch - you don't drink or smoke pot, and she's a heavy drinker and a major pothead.

You can't make her stop getting drunk and high, but you CAN decide - do you need her in your life if you guys are so opposite on such a major lifestyle choice???

Answer 6

Man up& tell her just what you said here. 8 months is not a very long time on the scale of a lifetime. If she returns the feelings that you have for her, she will do anything to please you and better your future. Be honest, be fair,and offer to take her to wherever it is that she needs to go to get counselling and help from certified people. Don't just tell her that you want her to quit,help her tap the resources that she needs to accomplish this goal and support her all the way. And if she does not share your views and there is not a happy medium for you, move on. Like I said before,8 months is not much on the scale of a lifetime.

Answer 7

Well, i don't smoke pot, and my boyfriend does. And for 2 years, i couldn't drink because i was under 21, but he could. We are working out fine. But it doesn't bother me, it is his choice, he is not doing anything dangerous when he does it, and he doesn't get "crazy" he just gets kinda goofy :) Which is fine by me. I think the only way you guys will be able to work through this is if you just accept it. Otherwise i think you will have to move on...

Answer 8

if it really bothers u, let her know and if she aint willn to stop 4 ya than consider leaving

just so ya know tho, pot iznt that dangerous if she duznt use it stupidly (like go out driving cuz the munchies iz gettn to her)

drinking is much worse than pot, but shes just tryn to have a good time

o but if she says that shes addicted or somethin, then shes just makn an excuse, ppl dont get addicted to mj, they just get used to it, its just like a favorite food, maybe used more, but u can stop with it without physically feeling bad, its all in the head

Answer 9

Well what are you doing with her then? Because being that much into getting high is a major part of her personality. Also it is an addition hard to kick. My advice is to go out and have sex with someone else and get over her.

Answer 10

U SHOULD STOP TRYNA BE CAPTAIN SAVE A HOE. more than likely your girl is doin alot more stuff u wouldn't approve of when she's not with u. dump her. or atleast start talkin to other chicks and just keep her around cause she's an easy lay when she's drunk. but definitely start lookin for a girl who doesn't get high/drunk, who live's in your town. and when u find her. dump that stoner chick dude.