i have a problem with pushing ppl away ever since my last serious b/f. i want a serious realationship, but i cant find someone that understands me. plus i dont wanna push him away...im so confused...i am super jealous and controlling even though i try not to be. i dont know y i am that way. i try not to be. i need advice. especially since i like this guy. i am gonna go hang out with him in 3 days. im nervous ill say the wrong thing. im a very outspoken person.
2006-11-09 15:12:44 · 8 answers · asked by Raven S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To understand why you are controlling, you need to look at your childhood. If your parents were controlling or someone else in your youth was controlling, you may be repeating that past experience.
The only way that you can stop this type of behavior in yourself is to understand where it came from. You may want to talk to a therapist. It takes a lot of work and courage to look inside yourself and try to change, but you can do it.
It is ok to be outspoken, but the control issues and jealousy will not allow you to have good long lasting relationships.
Take care,
Troy
2006-11-09 15:24:15 · answer #1 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are an Ok person first of all have that confidence. You can be a likable person if you be your self. Count to 3 in your mind if you are going to say something that may upset the other party or just slow down when you talk think a lot as you talk. You will find that people will start to understand you. Jealousy for your partner is OK. Have confidence that you will not say the wrong thing If you have faith in the Lord then write to me I will tell you how to pray so that your prayer is heard and your path is smoothened out
2006-11-09 23:24:54 · answer #2 · answered by R C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jealousy and controlling is an issue you really have to work on. You admit to this! Work on building up your self confidence. One thing to realize early in life is we cannot control what others will do. Just be yourself and don't worry about what the next day will bring. He may want to see you, he may not. Just know that it is never the end of the world if someone isn't as interested in you as you are them. Their loss. Being afraid of getting hurt is ridiculous because it is going to happen at times in your life. That is part of life. He must be interested since you're going to hang out.
2006-11-09 23:20:58 · answer #3 · answered by mich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love your self, love is in your heart, not out their in the -other-.you sound young, so find a ,wise woman , that you respect and she can be a surrogate mother figure to you, a mentor, some one who has lived thought your , part of life, and can answer your questions.go to many older woman and do a survey and get a group consensus.
__________________________
next pick up a book self improvement book, or many and --read about your self, start seeing what make you tick--if you don't know your self--you cant know others.we are basically the same, but at your age , you are looking for love and security,
and that at this time is not found in a boy.
--who probably knows less about life than you do .watch some DR PHILL, and SOME OPRAH, and other self improvement shows.
____________________________
due to you stated experiences and rape councilor, or general councilor, would -be cool to do.rape councilors at woman's centers are usually free.. and they can give you some WISE WOMAN -EXPERIENTIAL KNOWLEDGE.
2006-11-10 01:10:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself with the guy, but you may not be ready for a relationship in a long time. The heart does not heal over night, so take time, you will know when you are ready again.
2006-11-09 23:16:40 · answer #5 · answered by alwaysconfused 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to know yourself before you try to share your life with a man. There is a reason you act the way you do, you need to figure it out. You could maybe benefit from some counseling.
2006-11-09 23:16:08 · answer #6 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you arent alone.
be patient. you will start to figure things out for yourself. you cant expect to be back on your feet after falling so far down. read some relationship books and confidence books. you will start to find yourself again and start to recreate yourself to the person you like to be/want to be.
when you see him again. suprise both of you and act differently. you just have to concentrate harder.
2006-11-09 23:18:35 · answer #7 · answered by Questionnn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't change how you act ,but next time you start feeling jealous put in your head how much better you are than all those other girls are. build your confidence up feel go about yourself
2006-11-09 23:18:32 · answer #8 · answered by jungle cheeks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋