help me help my son?

Question

i have a six year old son third outa four kids who has a temper problem i cant handle the i hate you and the throwing and door slamming i have tried everything from being nice to yelling to smacking to walking out i dont know what to do any advice would be good

Answer 1

Everybody does things for one of four basic reasons: to get attention, get access to something (food, items, activities, etc.), to escape or avoid something, or because the act of doing it is pleasureable (such as smelling a rose). The key to reducing your son's temper tantrum problems are based on this principle.

First, identify why your son is tantruming. Once you have done this (and it could be for different reasons in different situations), you must deny him access to what it is he wants AS MUCH AS IT IS SAFE TO DO SO. In other words, if he hurts himself or others beyond what is safe, you need to try another method. This method is called "extinction."

Second, determine an alternative method for him to get what he wants appropriately. Whenever he uses this other method(s), let him get what he wants if possible. This is going to increase the chance that he will use this alternate method because it works. This method is technically "differential reinforcement of alternate behavior(s) (DRA)." When combined with extinction, it works pretty well.

Another often successful method for controling the occurence of tantrums is to offer your son choices before he tantrums in situations where he is likely to tantrum. These could be choices in activities (play a game or ride a bike), materials (pencil or pen, crayon or marker, etc.), task order (what do you want to do first?) or reinforcer (what to work for).

Finally, determine what really motivates him that you can use as reinforcement for using acceptable methods of communicating what he wants (something other than tantruming). This can be something like a pack of Yu-gi-oh cards. When he goes for a certain amount of time without a tantrum, you can praise him for that, and give him this motivating item. This will also increase the chance that he will use other methods than temper tantrums to express his needs and wants.

These methods are some basic tools in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). For more help I suggest you talk to your son's school, doctor or other qualified professional about a referral to a behavior therapist who is a board certified behavioral analyst (BCBA).

Answer 2

Your best bet is to take him to the doctor and find out why he behaves this way. There could be many reasons he act the way he does he may have ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder), or he may have trouble expressing his feelings and as a result just gets frustrated easiliy. Anything of concern about your child health and well being is worth a trip to the doctor to make sure it is not something serious.

Answer 3

Please take him to a CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST.... they can help you get to the root of the problem before you become any futher agitated by the problem.

There are several possible causes that can be related to Mental Health issues and you need identification to help you provide him the guidance he needs :)

A good Child Psychologist will have plenty of toys and will watch the child and interact with the child while playing with the toys

Answer 4

get him evaluated before anything else. give him extra love and attention. all kids are different some need more than others. make a chart be firm and let him earn things he wants by good things and chores he does. make it fun. get his attention on this instead of his anger. involve him in as many activities as possible for his age and brag on him for even small things he has done. being persistant is how you win and the anger will turn to love

Answer 5

smacking is terrible, probabaly the wost think you could do. To me, it seems as if he is deprived of attention....hes basically the middle child and might feel left out. He might not even notice how he feels. Especially since he is a boy, and they dont share there feeling as openly as girls to. You should probably take him out, just you and him or him and his father for a one on one thing...for some attention

Answer 6

heres a website about raising a difficult child
http://www.elainegibson.net/parenting/

and
here's a link to Dr Phil's articles on parenting, maybe something here will be helpful to you.

http://drphil.com/articles/category/4

Answer 7

My sister has the same problem but he's anonly child. And very spoiled!

Answer 8

take him to a doctor and find out if there is any physical reason for this, and maybe a child psychologist.