My parents don't even let me go to the mall with a couple of my friends (just because one of them is a boy) and I have no feelings for him in that way. He is more like a brother to me, he is one of my really good friends. My parents know him. He's a good kid. I am 16, but I was 15 when I wanted to go to the mall with two of my friends. I haven't even bothered to ask anymore because I bet they will say no.
Oh also another reason besides him being a boy, he is black. And my parents claim they are not, but I think they are racist. They got mad when he use to call me a lot. We have no interest in each other other than just being friends. He has a girlfriend also. My parents don't listen to me.
On top of that they didn't let me go to my friends revial at his church because it is a black church. And before you try to tell me that wasn't the reason, my mom came right out and said that.
Do you think my parents are racist and over protective?
I already know my views on the matter but
2006-11-09 14:43:55 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I thought I would get opinions by others to see what they think.
Oh and I am not over exaggerating either. And that was just some of the stuff.
And there is no reason for them to not trust me.
Oh just so you know they were meant as two seperate questions so please don't combine them together.
2006-11-09 14:46:52 · update #1
Oh, I have a church, a Baptist church,
He invited all his friends to a special thing at his church, I already have a church.
2006-11-09 14:56:33 · update #2
it was like that for me when i was young and now im older ive come to realise they only do it cos they dont wanna see ya get hurt sure it might seem they are over protective ay times but its only because they love you and dont want you gettin hurt
2006-11-09 14:45:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a parent of 3 girls, and 1 boy, and I can tell you that your parents love you, and are only looking out for your best interest. I don't think they are prejudice, they are only waiting until you can handle life on your own. Imagine this for a minute, I don't know if you have a pet, but say your puppy looks across the road and sees other pups playing and having a great time and your puppy runs across the road without looking and a big truck is coming, but he does not pay attention to it he just wants to go play, but you stop him and tie him or put him in the house, only because you don't want him to get hurt, he did not see the danger because he just wanted some social time, and he cries at the door wanting to go anyway, what would you do? And say all the other dogs were pit bulls, what would you do?? So it is with parents, they are only protecting you from something you could not possibly understand now, but one day when you have a child no matter what age you will do the same. Just be thankful you have parents like you have, what if they were drunken junkies, and did not care if you ate or not, and beat you, and brought home bad people that could hurt you, and you had to go begging on the street for help. Just pray for God to help, you and them understand each other, and be Thankful you are where you are at today.
2006-11-09 23:06:26 · answer #2 · answered by kachine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents do sound like they at a very minimum are leaning towards the racist issue. If I were you I'd try to sit down with either of your parents. The one you can talk more openly with. And see if I could have a few friends over on a Saturday or Sunday and make sure that he was one of the friends you asked over. Let your parents see first hand that you and he are nothing more than friends. It might take some time but they should eventually open up. If they do not then you will know for sure that they are racist. Good Luck.
2006-11-09 22:50:36 · answer #3 · answered by GRUMPY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be the same way t o my daughter!It's just the way the world is!I can also understand them saying they don't want you going to another church if you already have a church home!No one knows your parents like you so I can't say anything about the racists part!Do they let you go places with black girl friends?Maybe it is just the fact that he is a boy,and at this age boys will try or say anything to get a girl in bed!They are just looking out for you.The mall thing,I can relate too,because theres a lot of perverts out there and the like going places where teenagers will most likely be alone,and buy pretty much anything anyone will say"especially if they say the will buy or give them something"
2006-11-12 23:14:59 · answer #4 · answered by Sweetheart 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well i would say that they are protective but there are a lot of parents who are afraid to lose there "baby girl." I have seen this alot with my friends. You should get the boy to meet with your parents and sit down and talk to him. Then, they will see that he is a good person. The reason of them not letting you go to the mall because he is black is because the african american race has a stereotype of being "gangsters" and are there to get "some"(if you know what i mean). Thats what your parents probably fear because they dont want there daughter having sex or even being raped. Now im sorry if i have included anything offending to anyone here.
2006-11-09 22:48:53 · answer #5 · answered by lilchezman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Racism is common problem all over the world. people often discriminate between color, caste, creed and sex also. What you are experiencing is normal. It is very sad but true that people judge other people by color and caste. They don't bother to see the nature and behavior of the person.
May be ur parents might have had some bad experiences with black people. Try to know what is it that they are behaving like this with you. Is it simply their hatred for the blacks or something else. Don't get anxious about the issue be cool and play safe. May be they have some point in their behavior. Try to get to the root of the issue. Don't get overexcited. I am sure as time goes by and they have full faith in you everything be sorted out.
2006-11-09 22:56:36 · answer #6 · answered by Keyman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough question to answer. On the one hand they might be holding your hand a little too tight and not allowing you the freedom you need to learn and make decisions for yourself. Although, there are two sides to both stories and I am only hearing yours. This sounds so cliche, but your parents are just looking out for your best interest. That boy might have a girlfriend, but he may also have another agenda on his mind that could lead to trouble weather you want to believe it or not. Sixteen is a fragile age. Give your parents a little credit, they have both "been there done that". I don't think they are as scared of you making wrong decisions as much as they are trying to protect you from the unexpected. You can't blame them for that, you will thank them later.
2006-11-09 22:59:17 · answer #7 · answered by cm9779 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is sounds like your parents think they are BETTER than every one else. and Yes they are alittle over board with not letting you do too much. I have 15 13 and 09 year olds. I give them alot of Independence. and because of that, they do not rebel against me. Parents have to give kids leeway and let go of the rope or their kids will be angry and rebel and do the opposite of what they want from them. I know, I was a teen once and my parents sounded alot like yours. and guess what, i rebelled. You need to talk with your parents if they'll let you and tell them " look, i know you care about my well being but i really need to learn my Independence and become a responsible person. I'm a good kid and i know to choose right from wrong Because you raised me and taught me all of that. Could you please start giving me a little more leeway? could you just a little at a time start trusting me and have faith in me that ill make the right choices?"
Good Luck With mom and dad
2006-11-09 22:58:52 · answer #8 · answered by Crissy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That could be it,but they are still your parents and are trying to do what they think is best for you.They may be trying to hard to steer you into dating your own kind,but just because they look wrong doesn't always mean they are doing it intentionally.Many parents have been wrong but not because of race,they themselves don't know any better.Their methods of doing it are wrong.You should have a serious talk with them to see,but do your best to stay calm so you can get a honest answer.Good luck.
2006-11-09 22:53:30 · answer #9 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Do you think my parents are racist and over protective?"
Maybe. But, what difference does it make? Within a few years (I know that seems like forever), you will be able to make ALL of your own decisions.
Your parents are not going to change. Earn their respect and trust by respecting and trusting them. I like the suggestion of asking your friends over so that your parents get to know them better. That will go a long way in getting them to relax a bit.
Parents make mistakes. But, as long as they are not abusing you, you honor them, mistakes and all.
I have to think that your parents are doing all that you describe out of love and concern for you. Thank your lucky stars. Some kids would do anything to have loving parents like yours.
2006-11-09 23:00:53 · answer #10 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not over protective exactly but probably a little predjudice... they are probably thinking that because he is black he is from "the hood" and smokes weed and all that good stuff. I would confront your parents and tell them that he is good (which he hopfully is) I am not saying this to be siding with your parents but they probably just don't want you to start hanging out with the "wrong crowd". Maybe if you bring your friend over to hang out and tell him to be extra polite to your parents, they will think differntly about him, because if that is the only issue you have with YOUR parents, then you should consider youself lucky. =\
2006-11-09 22:51:30 · answer #11 · answered by lost 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋