I want to hear your nasty's joke!?

Question

I want hear nasty jokes because I want to shear them with my guy friends. They always seen to beat me in nasty jokes. So can you help me?

Answer 1

I got these from http://www.jwolfe.clara.net/Humour/MedJokes.htm

1) A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men in his 'middle regions, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow."

"Ummph, oooh, nnoooh, I'll be all right ... I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage his private parts. She then asked him, "How does that feel?"

"It feels great," he replied, "but my thumb still hurts like hell."

2) A girl goes to see her doctor. The doctor comes into the exam room and notices that the woman has a rash on her chest. As the doctor examines the rash, he notices that the rash is in the shape of an "H". To his amazement, the girl tells him, "My boyfriend goes to Harvard and he likes to wear his varsity letter sweater when we make love." He prescribes some cream and sends her on her way.

A few days later he is attending to another girl with a rash on her chest; only this time it is in the shape of a "Y". To his amazement, she tells him a similar story, "My boyfriend attends Yale and he likes to wear his varsity letter sweater when we make love." He prescribes the same treatment for this girl and sends her home.

Much to his amazement, a few days later another girl goes to his office with a rash on her chest. The doctor notices that her rash is in the shape of an "M". As she begins to explain how she got the rash, he interrupts her by saying, "Let me guess. Your boyfriend goes to Michigan and he likes to wear his varsity letter sweater when you make love."

The girl grins back and replies, "No, my girlfriend goes to Wyoming"

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I forgot where I heard this last one and it's not all that dirty, but here goes...

A bear is chasing after a rabbit in the woods. The bear and the rabbit come upon a pond were a frog is sitting on a lily pad. As the bear the the rabbit are about to run past the pond the frog says, "Wait!! Stop!! You're the first animals I've seen all month! If you stop I'll grant you each 3 wishes!!"

So the rabbit and the bear stop and go back to the pond. The bear goes first. "Ok, I wish all the bears in this neck of the woods, except me, were female." The frog says, "Ok", and it happens. The rabbit says, "I wish I had a helmet." The frog grants the rabbit's wish.

The bear looks at the rabbit like rabbit like he's crazy and continues his wishing. "I wish all the bears on the other side of the woods were female." The frog grants his wish. The rabbit says, "I wish I had a motorcycle." A little motorcycle pops up under the rabbit.

Then the bear grants his last wish, "I wish all the bears in the world, except me, were female". The frog makes it so. Then the rabbit guns the motor, grins at the bear and says, "I wish the bear was gay."

:) Hope this helps!

Answer 2

a salesclerk is on the lodge bar having a drink whilst a eye-catching youthful woman is obtainable in and sits the the different end of the bar. He calls the bartender over and tells him to grant the greater youthful woman despite she wanted to drink along with his compliments. The bartender serves the lady and he or she turns to the salesperson and mouthes the words, thank you. He figured no longer something ventured no longer something misplaced, so he is going over to the lady and introduces himself. She invitations him to sit down and that they've a pair of beverages and a protracted intimate verbal replace. during the verbal replace he reaches down and starts to caress her thigh. She is quite receptive to his advances or maybe opens her legs somewhat to allow greater suitable get right of entry to. the salesperson potential that they retire to his room for beverages. He manuevers her into mattress the place he engages in prolonged foreplay kissing the top interior her thighs as she writhes on the mattress in esctasy. He mounts and penetrates her and strokes her a pair of cases. He can no longer have faith what handed off, it is the worst adventure of his existence, so dry, scratchy and uncomfortable. He voices his feeling to the lady and he or she appoligizes and excuses herself jointly as she is going the bathing room to guard the subject. the salesperson hears her squeals contained in the direction of the door. She returns somewhat later and tells him to objective it returned. He remounts her and strokes her some cases, what a huge difference, like night and day, so heat, so moist, so slick. He we could her comprehend that she is now, by potential of a approaches, the proper he's ever had, "what did you interior the barhroom?", he asked. "Oh", she pronounced, "I merely ripped off the scabs and that's merely the puss which you're sliding around on".

Answer 3

nasty jokes? what exactly do you mean by "nasty" jokes...lol