How do i deal with the fact that my girlfriend is sad due to lost love?

Question

1. Her friend had been 'in love with her' for a year and just admitted this - led to a week of upset and indecision on her part.
2. she chose me, says its resolved with her but is sad because he wont stop pushing and they are now not speaking.
3. says she is sad because of the loss of her friend (whom she loved but didnt want physically) but to me the way she is behaving about it is out of proportion.
4. I am already hurt that she considered leaving me, after all weve shared, and now this seems like she is rubbing salt in the wound.
5. she seems at the moment to be caring little abt my feelings, saying im lucky that she chose me so i had no right to be upset. how can i make her understand?
6. Help! what do i do? will this naturally resolve or get worse?
7. what i really need to know is how i tell whether she is sad due to losing a friend, which i can support her with. or whether she has/had stronger feelings which she is 'mourning' in a sense?

Answer 1

I think she is sad because she has lost a close friend, and i think she is mourning 'what could have been'.

Maybe you should just ask her if she is sure she made the right choice. Just to know for sure for yourself.

With this guy, if he kept pushing it after she told him not to, then he doesn't truly care for her, he just wanted her for himself. If he was a genuine guy and a genuine friend, he would have understood that she chose you and he should have been happy for you both.

With his reaction like this, sounds like he wanted her for himself and doesn't care about either of you. And maybe he just wanted to get into her pants.

You need to tell her that if he cared he would not have pushed the issue. And then try to talk things through with her to make her realise this. You need to tell her how guys think, as girls really are clueless at the best of times, no matter what they think they know.

Maybe suprise her with something she likes and she if she pays attention to you again. That will tell where her heart is.

Answer 2

She is feeling very lonely, so dont take a break. rather just be patient with her and give her lots of love and support. I know you think its unfair on you coz yr hurting too. But maybe you can find happiness in making her happy? Chances are she is "mourning" the loss of her feelings, and she might even wonder for the rest of her life what it would have been like, but i know its only a consolation prize, but she did decide to stay with you, so try make the best of it. :-)

Answer 3

How very astute you sound. I think the best thing you can do here is suggest that you have a break whilst she deals with these mixed emotions. She is being a bit egotistical to expect you "to be grateful" she chose you. My wife tried this approach after we got back together after her affair. We are now divorced. A relationship cannot survive this uncertainty and you are right to question her "mourning" Test her by separating. If she doesn't return, she never would have been yours.

Answer 4

Set a date with the sitter for each Saturday nighttime and go out with your husband. locate some playgroups to your toddler so which you will meet another mothers~ you quite need some buddies. i'm saying as kindly as attainable, you're able to desire to get a existence. detect a mom's outing and take a kind. there are various loose issues to do on the library. you're able to as properly be depressed. this is not regularly occurring to be unhappy all day. it could even nonetheless be postpartum melancholy. talk on your dr. EDIT:ok, be a sufferer in case you choose to. OR, make a step-by ability of-step plan to make your existence better. you're an person- learn how to force. locate the thank you to make a sprint greater funds. you're able to desire to babysit in case you needed. i'm VERY undesirable, so which you will possibly some degree I comprehend, yet you are able to enable your existence take place, or you are able to impression exchange.

Answer 5

hi, personally i think your girlfriend is being alittle unfair, she should understand that you are bound to be a little insecure after what you have heard and seen, and it should be her trying to make you feel better and more secure in your relationship, she made the choice and should get on with things instead of wallowing and making ahuge drama out of it you can only be sympathetic for so long before you get fed up with it...tell her how you feel and see what she says any girl who loved their guy would do their utmost to put your mind at rest and if she doesn't then perhaps you should have a break while she decides what she wants and who she wants...good luck

Answer 6

If she decided to stay with you, that must mean something. She's now probably wondering what could have been, but give her some time and try not to pressure her too much. I'm sure that if you leave her some space she'll be grateful. And remember that she chose you.

Answer 7

Tell her you're having a break for two weeks to give her a chance to sort her feelings out. If she wants you after two weeks, tell her you'll be there for her, but she must take time out to solve her emotional state as it is making you miserable and you don't deserve that.

Answer 8

He is still her friend, no matter what. Tell her that.

Now, what if in addition of being with you that she also want him? Tell her on not to choose between the two of you, tell her to be with both of you, IF you want it.

Answer 9

just leave her think alone and she will feel better later