I know this is gonna make me sound like a baby. But my bf told me we were gonna hang out today. and i was really excited. i mean i worked all day and i jsut wanted to spend the night with him. then he calls me to tell me hes going to poker night with the boys, and im super upset. and he keeps saying hes sorry and stuff but im still upset. how can i deal with this without sounding like a baby?
2006-11-09 13:29:06 · 27 answers · asked by FairChild 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just let it pass ....
2006-11-09 13:32:11 · answer #1 · answered by aaron 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
This doesn't make you sound like a baby, and it's a good way to learn the difference between being assertive and aggressive. If you have a reasonable request (do what you promised) and the right to expect it (he offered), the problem isn't you. You should confront him about this because it bothers you. You'll stay much more reasonable if you're certain this was owed to you, even if it does put him on the spot. That's called being assertive. Just be firm and don't let him draw you off that one issue. If he brings up something about you, tell him he should bring that up later; right now we're dealing with THIS. That way you won't get caught up in the "You always this" or "You never that" trap, which is always a mistake. That's being aggressive.
If this bothers you so much and you let it pass, that's being unassertive. People who are unassertive get more and more frustrated because nobody can read your mind so they can't avoid doing what you don't like. Eventually the unassertive person will get angry and blow up, or retaliate in some way. That isn't fair to the other person because you never told him what your expectations were.
Be sure of yourself and stay calm. By being assertive and letting him know what you want, and not just venting your displeasure, you'll be learning a valuable relationship skill.
2006-11-09 13:56:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You dont sound like a baby, he stood you up after making a date with you first then cancelled you out to hang out with the fellas. thats not right and what makes it worse is that he came to you and made plans to do something with you, then didnt. His priorities is all wrong, you had other things you could have been doing today, instead of wasting your time waiting.. So this is what you do, cry your heart out and then get over it by talking to him and telling him not to do that crap ever again or else!
2006-11-09 13:35:19 · answer #3 · answered by NIKFAY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
May I open by saying, you do not sound like a baby. Sounds like someone has made any grevience or complaint you may have to be equated with you sounding like a baby.
If it is your boyfriend, it sounds like he pretty much does what he wants and if you don't like it, you are then made to feel like you are sounding like a baby.
Paybacks are hell, but sometimes they are required to teach some people a lesson and they learn what it feels like to have you own boyfriend blatently lie to you and stand you up after promising you he would hang out with you.
I would deal with this by the next time he wants to hang out with you, let him believe it is going to happen, and then do him like he does you, call and cancel, you are going out with the girls and let him get an opportunity to see what it feels like.
He is playing you like a guitar. He does what he wants and has a ton of I am sorrys, and probably makes you think you sound like a baby. Well you don't sound like a baby, and need I remind you, there are plenty of real men out there who would probably really like to meet you.
Don't take anymore of his crap, and as far as him being a man, . . . . he is just a boy, playing games and playing you with a ton of I'm sorrys, which I doubt he means.
If I were you, I would start looking around. Lots of times, younger girls like to meet older men, who know how to treat a young woman, instead of having to hang with some immature boy.
Good Luck.
Darryl S.
2006-11-09 13:43:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dunno how you would get overyourself and and being a baby at once, I understand your upset cause youthought you were gonna hang with your man and all but then his boys called and now he is gonna hang with them and not you, what can ppl say but sorry to hear that he doesnèt want you tonight but his buds. What ever your looking for as in answer good luck, and one thing enjoy the night alone if your that stressed out as well!
2006-11-09 13:33:06 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he blew you off and you have the right to be upset. Tell him it isn't the fact he went to play poker - it is the fact he made plans and then broke them without considering your feelings. It might be time to find someone else if he doesn't step up emotionally.
2006-11-09 13:32:04 · answer #6 · answered by FL_Engineer 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When I feel like that sometimes I try to find something to take my mind off it. I like running and reading and heaps of other things...
Maybe also if you do something productive with your 'free' time you will not feel like you have been bored/wasted time, when you see him again you can be happy and tell him about what YOU did while he was too busy for you, and he will want to spend time with you asap! This will help you feel happy without having to rely on his company (guys can't stand clingy girls) If you want to, let him know that you were disappointed when he cancelled, but its ok and maybe next time if he could just let you know sooner/make sure that he's ok for the date when its set... -I mean maybe you would've organised to go out with the girls if you knew earlier! or something :) just let him know not to play with you like that. Its ok to be annoyed, just don't be sulky, and don't hold a grudge. Try have faith in him to be better next time.
good luck! :)
2006-11-09 13:33:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well depends if your a strong gal...or a baby!
He needs to KNOW your NOT upset....or that you care.
Try not talking to him for say 3-4 days....?
THAT WILL WAKE HIM UP!
He is a total jerk!...girl you have to get GUTS now!!!
Or....he will run with this, and make you sooo unhappy.
Make him see who is the BOSS!....be strong, and you will WIN!
NEVER EVER LET ANY GUY STAND YOU UP!
2006-11-09 13:34:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend if he waited til the last minute to cancel with you he's poking something alright and it definitely doesn't involve cards and chips. How many real men do know will turn down booty for poker.
2006-11-09 13:40:51 · answer #9 · answered by H Town Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go out wif your galfriends! Rest, relax and forget about your bf for the time you are with your gfs. Have a good time. As to reacting with your boyfriend....give & take policy....cheer up...its not the end of the world. when he misses you or feels guilty about what he has done, he will be very very nice to you...trust me! when that time comes, be nice to him as well. dun show your grudges. the next time he will spend moretime wif you then his friends...gd luck!
2006-11-09 13:36:19 · answer #10 · answered by rutland_77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't know how often this happens. But if it doesn't happen alot, just tell him you were looking forward to spending time with him, and you would appreciate it if when you'll make plans that they could be followed through with
2006-11-09 13:33:21 · answer #11 · answered by mssgtmidnight 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋