Ok there is this one guy who obviously likes me. He keeps asking me out for coffee and is practically attached to my wrist whenever we meet. It drives me insane. I have no interest in the guy what soever, but being the girl that I am, I don't want to be rude and hurt his feelings, so I always tells him I am too busy to get together, that I have essays and assignments to write, that I'm working, yada yada yada. Now, this has been going on since September and I have been very obvious in my not interested hints. I have paid him little to no attention, left gatherings without saying good bye, used I'm uncomfortable get out of my space body language.. but he still seems very persistant. Everyone is telling me I should just tell him I'm not interested in being anything more than friends, but I'm afraid I'm gonna be mean and hurt his feelings and then he won't attend gatherings because I'm there too. Give me your thoughts, though I probably already know what they will be.
2006-11-09 13:27:27 · 23 answers · asked by wolfgirl1987 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're being mean and confusing him by leading him on like that.
Now, I know you don't *think* you're leading him on, but trust me, us guys are pretty stupid; if you don't tell us "No," we think everything's fine.
So do the right thing, take him out for one more coffee, and give it to him straight.
2006-11-09 13:31:10 · answer #1 · answered by bgii_2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the bigger question is are you ok with his attitudes about sex? If this is how much he wanted to have sex for the rest of your lives, would that be ok? when you do have sex does it feel intimate? Does it feel right? If so, then great. If not, i would say there is something more going on here. Listen to your gut feeling. If something doesn't feel right, then wait some time before you get married. Could he be gay? Could he not like having sex with someone who he loves, but prefers the casualness of one night stands or three in a day sexual escapades? IF you can clearly know in your heart that the answer is no., then good. But if you have doubts, move along. You are young and this is waaaaay too important to just leave to chance. Make sure you talk to him about this and ask his input.
2016-05-22 01:46:29 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you shouldn't ASSume anything. Perhaps he isn't into you at all. He's asked you out for coffee not a night out on the town. What if he just likes being friends with you? Have a friend ask why he's always around you or something and let them tell him you have your eyes on someone that isn't him...he'll probably say So? and that will be the end of that.
Best Wishes!!!
2006-11-09 13:29:56 · answer #3 · answered by poetic princess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you worried that he won't attend gatherings if you say you don't want to be with him? That's HIS choice. You may be leading him on. Tell him you just want to be casual friends and no more. Be honest and don't be mean. I'm sure there's guys you like who aren't interested in you, too. They'd tell you the truth. You need to tell this guy the truth so he doesn't keep his hopes up.
2006-11-09 13:33:21 · answer #4 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be honest in a tactful way.
"Look, I'm sensing that your interested in more than a friendship with me, if that's true, I think it's only fair to let you know now that I don't see you in that way. I'm very flattered by your attention and persistance, but since this is going nowhere, let's try just being friends.
That's all it takes, give it a try
2006-11-09 13:32:42 · answer #5 · answered by Cindy S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless u are totally honest with this guy and let him know that u are not interested in anything more than friendship... he will consider you a challenge... men love women that they have to work at getting, so he will simply find u even more exciting, if u don't have that talk. Just remember to be gentle.
2006-11-09 13:40:35 · answer #6 · answered by wise one 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was always the same way..not wanting to hurt feelings!
Tell him you have a long distance boyfriend and that should deter him!
You could also try to set him up with some girl you know!
2006-11-09 13:40:07 · answer #7 · answered by Lucky 7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some guys a very friendly and there friendliness can be miss interpret that he is interested in you. Unless he has flat out asked you out on 'date' or he say he is interested in you, than you can let him know your feeling. It's seems like he a nice guy wanting to be friends and trying to get to know you.
2006-11-09 13:37:04 · answer #8 · answered by Kitty Cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah that's very tough. Just if you don't feel comfortable telling him no, just keep doing what ur doing. Do not show the slightest of interest with him as more than a friend
2006-11-09 13:31:05 · answer #9 · answered by bhattipimpin88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you really don't wann ruin your friendship with any form of other relationships. Tell him oh wow she's cute why don't you ask her out.. Find out girls that do like him and tell him about them. Treat him as if he's another one of the girls. It worked for me. Ask him for advsie on some random guy of how he thinks you could get together with that guy or does he think that guy likes you.
2006-11-09 13:31:39 · answer #10 · answered by KayAlley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋