my mother is 57 years old and is an emotionaly abusive relationship with my father and has been for 37 years, I'm scared that she feels that's all life is for her. She wakes up and starts drinking hard liqour to "numb" her pain, I need to know if anyone else has family who suffers from this and what they did to help them, Please I love my mother she has a good heart and deserves to be happy. BTW a have a brother 37, sister 32, and I'm 20
2006-11-09 13:10:20 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Believe it or not my father won't even talk to any of us, when we were younger we all had a relationship with him but as we became older and formed our own opinions and seen the world for our own eyes he became Very distant and seperated himself from us, BTW he also suffers from the addiction of gambling, my mother still constantly tries to please him but he dosn't love or appreciate her so she beats herself up over it. Is there any Forums out there for this kind of thing?
2006-11-09 13:31:20 · update #1
I am really sorry about what you're going through. Get what you want to say in order, and tell her. Make it clear what you want to happen, what you think should happen, and what you're willing to do to make it happen. Let her know you support her, and that you love her, and would like to have her in your life for much longer, and in order for that to happen, she needs to love herself. Bring your siblings in to help you, and remember she's is grown, and after you have extended your hand to help, and if she doesn't take it, you can't blame yourself. You can keep trying, and stay close to her. Good luck. Stay strong. It's not easy, but not impossible.
2006-11-09 13:17:54 · answer #1 · answered by Brandnewshoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry with your situation as I'm going thru a very similar one with my father. Idk how I can help you as I had to ask here recently but what I think ur parents need is to get away from eachother. Thats what my parents did. Altho matters didn't get any better my mother and I are safer away from him. He is worse since the swperation. Now ur mother needs AA. As the same with my father and I'm working on that. I'm 22 and the eldest of 3. I feel your pain and pray that we both can find solutions towards our abusive and alcoholic parents.
2015-05-14 14:21:58 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She chooses this life. Only she can choose to get out of it. You and I you have to one day except this fact or we will suffer with them.
I know exactly what you are going through.
I have tried for years and years but in the end no matter what I do it didn't help her.
I let my mom know that I am always here for her and that I love her that is all that I can do.
I still try and help and it only kills me to see that it is not helping.
2006-11-09 13:55:51 · answer #3 · answered by CaTT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you, it really does, but there isn't a thing you can do, hon. It's all up to her. You can let her know that - if she chooses to change her circumstances - you will support and love her, be there for her, but that is all you can offer her until she, herself, decides she needs to change.
The human heart is a mysterious animal. There are people who, for some reason, equate love with pain, and feel that the more they suffer, the more they 'love'. It's very hard to shake them out of that mode...
Good luck...and, please, let her know that you love her...
2006-11-09 13:15:27 · answer #4 · answered by dingobluefoot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you and/or your siblings speak to your abusive father? He is the one that has caused your mother's self-esteem getting really low. Alcoholism is a disease and needs to be treated.
Please try to be as encouraging as possible to your mother and in the meantime, check into organizations such as Al-Anon.
I feel bad for your Mom and also for your family, excluding your father.
2006-11-09 13:18:16 · answer #5 · answered by Juanitamarie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you cannot help her unless she wants to help herself.
There is a group and I think it is called Al-Anon and it is for family members living with an alcoholic. You and your siblings can get some support there.
2006-11-09 13:14:04 · answer #6 · answered by Stimpy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your family members. But if she's not willing to help herself, don't think there's much you can do.
2006-11-09 13:13:27 · answer #7 · answered by sheeny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs ur support.ur emotional support can help her to stand.just always tell her that u understand her.she is alone.her lonliness compels her to drink so be supportive.
2006-11-09 13:16:06 · answer #8 · answered by preet_prab 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her to church let her do things for the church get her invole and away from him! She deserves better!
2006-11-09 13:14:01 · answer #9 · answered by God's chosen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋