Step Son will be 4 in Jan., and refuses to go on the potty...?

Question

I am a stay at home mom with him and I can get him to go on the potty, but he screams about it and ends up sitting there sometimes for 30 minutes before he'll go. His father thinks that he'll decide on his own when he wants to start going on the potty. His father also thinks that if we just put him in underwear that although there will be accidents, he'll get to the point where he doesn't want to be wet or in poop. It's aggravating as hell because he's not in daycare, and I don't know of a preschool that will take him without being trained. Does anyone have any suggestions? I've taken away snacks, the TV for a day, no night light at night...etc., but he's not wanting to go. HELP PLEASE!!!!

Answer 1

I would have to say the dad might be right on this one. Taking things away will just get you and the boy into a pissing match. I recommend several of the suggestions listed but I think the one with the underware or nothing on at all might be a good choice. He will do it soon or later but right now it sounds like hes comfortable just going in the diaper. Since he will only have undies on try and take him to the restroom once every 45 min to hour. Try taking that away for starters and then maybe the extream of nothing on at all would be the next step.

Answer 2

I had the same problem with my son . He turned 4 last July and he wouldn't do it . I tried bribes. games, sticker, taking things away , putting him in underwear . No matter what he wouldn't do it . I finally got fed up and made him have nothing on but a shirt to cover him . I told him he cant have a diaper , pull up or underwear on . He begged and Begged but I said no . I had to follow him around cause I knew he would have to go sometime. As of 1 month ago and that day he is potty trained . Granted I had to have just a long shirt on him for a couple days but he did it . Now that he has underwear I let him get his fav super hero and tell him they will be hurt and upset if he pees on him . I also had a family member call him and pretend to be that hero . I guess when they are truly ready it helps alot . Good luck .

Answer 3

I have the same problem with my little guy who will be 4 in March. I've potty trained 6 others before him without much difficulty but he's just not "into it". I'm not sure why. I've decided to just not sweat it. He wears pull ups. He goes potty occasionally and I make a big deal about it but when he has accidents I don't make a big deal about it at all. I figure he'll do it eventually (At least I hope so! LOL) Good luck!

Answer 4

Just what Mrs. Webb said....every 15 minutes. It's not easy. It's not fun either. But after several weeks of regular trips to the bathroom, he'll learn when he has the urge. And make it darn fun in there. Read a story to him, play a little word game.

Also, day care centers WILL take him. But you may have to pay more or he may have to go in a younger kid room. Maybe. But you do need help and a break so you can go at this with a renewed spirit. You sound worn out.

I agree, at age 4 a kid SHOULD be trained but you're not so lucky with this one...sorry for that! Keep smiling, maybe do a sticker chart and set a goal and have a big reward like a trip for ice cream or a movie. He might be motivated by praise and seeing his row of stars rise.

Answer 5

Both of my kids did it really early and no problems. But I am with one of the answers. Positive, positive, positive, not negative reinforcements. Praise works so much better than punishment. I do know that it is very hard NOT to punish but that will undoubtedly make the child rebel.... and never go. ANYTHING good he does that even eludes to going on the potty make it the Best thing in the world he could have ever done !!!!. But the bottom line is he will go when he is ready!! It is not a doctor's issue, I am pretty sure. Unless he is not going at all , in the pants or otherwise. Then call the Doc.

Answer 6

I suggest you get him checked by a doctor to rule out any pathology that might be causing him pain when he "goes." If there is nothing physically wrong, I suggest you sequester him in a room without carpeting (or at least keep an eye on him when he is in a room with carpeting) and let him go bare bottom for a week or so. A little known fact is that kids don't like the feeling of urine or feces running down their legs. (Gross, I know.) If you check back a couple of generations, that's the way lots of parents potty trained their kids. Works like a charm, and in a lot less time then it takes today.

Answer 7

Wow, this is stange, well I have a 2 yr old who almost fully trained and a 3 yr old that is completely train and what I did was when they were about 15-16 months I started them in pull ups, them it moved to going to the potty a few times a day, once a child gets use to the routine of going to the bathroom it gets a lil better, then its also good to take them when you have to go, and even when he goes and dont pee its good to cheer him on for trying, anyway I would suggest that you send him every 15 min-30 min or even explain to him when he has to pee pee say mommy i have to pee help me thats working for me now and also or when you have to poopie say mommy or daddy help me, and also the under thing is great also because if he feels the pee he will not like it, with pull ups the pee is warm so he dont care, but yes thats a great idea my 2 yr old wears big boy underwear all day its a very tough job potty training but once he pee the first time he will know and he may know now he just might not know what to say when he has to go, you will get though and also a good way to help him not be a bed wetter at night is to wake them up at night atleast once or twice to pee that way they get use to getting up when they have to pee at night, you will get , hope this could help

Answer 8

I had a boy in daycare that was 4 and he did not want to go to the potty either. You are trying to hard.
Don't take away things because he doesn't want to do it.
Reward him for doing it.
Tell dad to help him because he may want that bonding.
If he takes a nap and wakes up dry take him right to the potty.
Let him sit for 30 minutes if he has to. That may be the way he is going to do it for awhile.
But I promise you, IF you reward, praise, and encourage him.
He will want that praise and he will start doing it.
You can try underwear for a day or so but don't get discouraged.
And please don't down-grade him or call him names for not doing it. Don't let him know that you are anger or upset about it. Let him know that accidents happen. You might even remind him or ask him if he has to go because they get busy in their own little world that they forget.
Let me know how it goes and good luck.
One more suggestion:
Read him a book about it.

Answer 9

You have to make him 4 is way to old but if you put him in underwear it will work because he wont want to be wet pull ups make it comfortable like diapers. He will not be able to go to school until he is potty trained but you and your husband need to work together and make him because if your husband does not make him then it will never work so to fix your husband make him change the diapers poopie ones pee ones because he will not be able to go to daycare or preschool or kindergarden without using the restroom

you should tell him that big boys use the potty use characters that he likes reward him let it be postive experiance for him give him a sticker on a board everytime he goes to the potty then if he does it sucessful take him to get a toy just make it fun

dont worry now that he is older it may be easier now but I here boys are harder to train then girls

Answer 10

I have an 8 year old, been there.
do not take things away that is negative reinforcement, use positive reinforcement

every kid likes candy, bribe him. everytime he goes give him candy, even if it takes 30 minutes

everytime after a month, every two times

bribe-bribe-bribe

when he goes to daycare you say 'no wet pants and potty at daycare = candy when you get home,' now they feel in charge about getting a reward